Author Topic: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread  (Read 8273 times)

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Offline Toliman

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #40 on: February 14, 2020, 06:05:16 pm »
"Aynga kä nìtxan, kìyerä." All of you go very far away, go in the near future and don't come back.
Yeah, now I understand. So I would say:
Aynga kìyä neto. or maybe Aynga hìyum ulte kìyä neto. (You all will depart and you will go far away)

Second one should have been "Fiketuwong fngä tikin." This sky person needs the rest room [urgently].
Here I would say:
Fìketuwongru lu tìkin a fngä.

Offline archaic

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #41 on: February 16, 2020, 03:53:56 pm »
Ma Toliman, irayo!
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Offline Toliman

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #42 on: February 16, 2020, 03:56:33 pm »
Kea tìkin ma 'eylan :)

Offline Plumps

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #43 on: March 02, 2020, 12:03:14 pm »
Quote
"I am begging you."
Oel fngo' ngati.

Not quite the same meaning for me, tbh.

Maybe, oe ätxäle s(er)i ngaru

Quote
"Do not do that."
Tsa'uri nga kem ke sivi!

It’s a negative command, so rä’ä is in order

Tsakem rä’ä s(iv)i would suffice.


This one I managed part of .....
"Oel ngatì teach you to plltxe nìna'vi."
I would say:
Oel kar ngati fya'oru fyape plltxe nì'Na'vi.

The other way around :D

Oel kar ngaru fya’ot a plltxe nìNa’vi.

Second one should have been "Fiketuwong fngä tikin." This sky person needs the rest room [urgently].
Here I would say:
Fìketuwongru lu tìkin a fngä.

Good one! Don’t forget the glottal stop on fngä’

Offline Toliman

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #44 on: March 02, 2020, 12:20:42 pm »
Quote
"I am begging you."
Oel fngo' ngati.

Not quite the same meaning for me, tbh.

Maybe, oe ätxäle s(er)i ngaru
Ah yeah, your idea is far better.


This one I managed part of .....
"Oel ngatì teach you to plltxe nìna'vi."
I would say:
Oel kar ngati fya'oru fyape plltxe nì'Na'vi.

The other way around :D

Oel kar ngaru fya’ot a plltxe nìNa’vi.
Yeah, I considered also this one... is possible to say which translation is better in this case?

Offline Plumps

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #45 on: March 02, 2020, 02:25:55 pm »
Yeah, I considered also this one... is possible to say which translation is better in this case?

Well, grammatically at least the T- and R-ending is a given, because you teach something (the way) to somebody (you). If you were to use fyape … that would indicate an indirect question  ??? :-\ Don’t know how that would work. The only way I could think of was by connecting what you teach (the way) with a the act of speaking.

Offline Toliman

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #46 on: March 02, 2020, 02:31:30 pm »
Good, irayo :) I will think about it.

Offline archaic

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #47 on: March 03, 2020, 03:43:57 pm »
Irayo ma Plumps!
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Offline archaic

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #48 on: May 10, 2020, 04:11:34 pm »
Time to dust off this thread again.


OK, how would a young native speaker say "Where am I?" ?
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Offline Toliman

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #49 on: May 10, 2020, 04:21:29 pm »
Time to dust off this thread again.
Txantsan :) So your fanfic work will continue?

OK, how would a young native speaker say "Where am I?" ?
"Where am I?" = "Oel tok pesengit?"
« Last Edit: May 11, 2020, 04:26:27 am by Toliman »

Offline archaic

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #50 on: May 10, 2020, 04:48:22 pm »
Irayo, I'll pencil that in.
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Offline Toliman

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #51 on: May 10, 2020, 04:49:29 pm »
Kea tìkin :)

Offline Plumps

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #52 on: May 10, 2020, 11:48:21 pm »
OK, how would a young native speaker say "Where am I?" ?
"Where am I?" = "Oel tok pesengìl?"

Small typo, oel tok pesengit?

There are a few variations, though, apart from pesenget(i)/tsengpet(i)/pesengti/tsengepet – that’s your preference

Because you emphazised a young native speaker, maybe you thought about slang?

We recently learned that tok can be left out colloquially.

pesenget oel? would also put the punch on ‘I’. If where is more important leave it at oel pesengit?

Offline Toliman

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #53 on: May 11, 2020, 04:25:55 am »
Ah yeah, typo... oel tok pesengit? of course :-[

(fixed)

Offline archaic

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #54 on: May 11, 2020, 12:27:42 pm »
Irayo to you both. (meirayo?)
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Offline Toliman

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #55 on: May 11, 2020, 12:37:58 pm »
Kea tìkin :)

Offline archaic

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #56 on: May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 pm »
So, I've been experiencing IT issues, looks like LN has had some too?
Any who, I intended to post these on tuesday, but that went out the window.


So, here are a few lines I've tried to translate. As always, all guidance very greatly appreciated.

"Fitseng onlorg lu ke." this place smells bad.
"Fitsen ke lu onlorg mi."this place still smells bad.
"Fitsneg säsyep lu, hilyifwo oe ke." This place is a trap, I will never escape.
"Fitseng Eywa‘eveng lu ke, fitseng lu ngayä kifkey! Ngal oeti zamunge pelun? Pelun?" This place pandora is not, this place is alien homeworld! Why did you bring me here? Why?
"Ngayä atxar lu hek." your odor is peculiar.
"Kelku lu ke." this place is no home.
"Oe new oeyä sa’nu."  I want my mommy.
"Oeyä sa’nu lu kerusey." My mommy is dead.
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Offline Toliman

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #57 on: May 21, 2020, 01:03:08 pm »
"Fitseng onlorg lu ke." this place smells bad.
Fìtsengeri tìng ontu nìfe'.
(but I am not sure with this)

"Fitsen ke lu onlorg mi."this place still smells bad.
Fìtsengeri tìng ontu nìfe' mi.
(almost same sentence so again, I am not sure with this)

"Fitsneg säsyep lu, hilyifwo oe ke." This place is a trap, I will never escape.
Fìtsenge lu säyep, oe ke hayifwo kawkrr.

"Fitseng Eywa‘eveng lu ke, fitseng lu ngayä kifkey! Ngal oeti zamunge pelun? Pelun?" This place pandora is not, this place is alien homeworld! Why did you bring me here? Why?
Fìtsenge ke lu Eywa'eveng, fìtsenge lu ngeyä kifkey! Pelun ngal zamunge oeti ne fìtseng? Pelun?
(fìtsenge lu ngeyä kifkey = this place is your world, fìtsenge lu ketuwongä kifkey = this place is alien's world)

"Ngayä atxar lu hek." your odor is peculiar.
You are right! Ngeyä atxar lu hek.

"Kelku lu ke." this place is no home.
Fìtsenge ke lu kelku.

"Oe new oeyä sa’nu."  I want my mommy.
Oel new oeyä sa'nut.

"Oeyä sa’nu lu kerusey." My mommy is dead.
You are right! Oeyä sa'nu lu kerusey.

Offline Plumps

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #58 on: May 22, 2020, 03:09:34 am »
My take on these …

"Fitseng onlorg lu ke." this place smells bad.

You need something here that is called the middle voice. Because the place itself doesn’t smell. You perceive it as being bad-smelling.

The full form is

          fìtsengìri fahew fkan oer onvä’

but you could shorten it to

          fìtseng fkan (oer) (on)vä’


"Fitsen ke lu onlorg mi."this place still smells bad.

See above. Shortest possible form:

          fìtseng mi fkan vä’

"Fitsneg säsyep lu, hilyifwo oe ke." This place is a trap, I will never escape.

Toliman got that right, except a small typo in säsyep

"Ngayä atxar lu hek." your odor is peculiar.

hek is itself the verb “be curious”, so there is no lu needed. Also, atxar is an adjective and therefor can’t be used with ngeyä; ngeyä needs a noun to glom on to.

          ngeyä fahew hek

"Fitseng Eywa‘eveng lu ke, fitseng lu ngayä kifkey! Ngal oeti zamunge pelun? Pelun?" This place pandora is not, this place is alien homeworld! Why did you bring me here? Why?

"Kelku lu ke." this place is no home.
"Oe new oeyä sa’nu."  I want my mommy.
"Oeyä sa’nu lu kerusey." My mommy is dead.

cf. Toliman’s solutions.

Offline archaic

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Re: Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread
« Reply #59 on: May 22, 2020, 03:59:34 pm »
Irayo!
 :D  :D
Pasha, an Avatar story, my current fanfic, Avatar related.

The Dragon Affair my last fanfic, non Avatar related.

 

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