Archaic's fanfic dialogue help thread

Started by archaic, September 11, 2019, 02:15:48 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Toliman

Quote from: archaic on February 14, 2020, 05:48:08 PM
"Aynga kä nìtxan, kìyerä." All of you go very far away, go in the near future and don't come back.
Yeah, now I understand. So I would say:
Aynga kìyä neto. or maybe Aynga hìyum ulte kìyä neto. (You all will depart and you will go far away)

Quote from: archaic on February 14, 2020, 05:48:08 PM
Second one should have been "Fiketuwong fngä tikin." This sky person needs the rest room [urgently].
Here I would say:
Fìketuwongru lu tìkin a fngä.

archaic

Pasha, an Avatar story, my most recent fanfic, Avatar related, now complete.

The Dragon Affair my last fanfic, non Avatar related.

Toliman


Plumps

Quote from: Toliman on January 26, 2020, 07:19:32 PM
Quote"I am begging you."
Oel fngo' ngati.

Not quite the same meaning for me, tbh.

Maybe, oe ätxäle s(er)i ngaru

Quote from: Toliman on January 26, 2020, 07:19:32 PM
Quote"Do not do that."
Tsa'uri nga kem ke sivi!

It's a negative command, so rä'ä is in order

Tsakem rä'ä s(iv)i would suffice.


Quote from: Toliman on February 14, 2020, 05:38:17 PM
Quote from: archaic on February 14, 2020, 05:12:44 PM
This one I managed part of .....
"Oel ngatì teach you to plltxe nìna'vi."
I would say:
Oel kar ngati fya'oru fyape plltxe nì'Na'vi.

The other way around :D

Oel kar ngaru fya'ot a plltxe nìNa'vi.

Quote from: Toliman on February 14, 2020, 06:05:16 PM
Quote from: archaic on February 14, 2020, 05:48:08 PM
Second one should have been "Fiketuwong fngä tikin." This sky person needs the rest room [urgently].
Here I would say:
Fìketuwongru lu tìkin a fngä.

Good one! Don't forget the glottal stop on fngä'

Toliman

Quote from: Plumps on March 02, 2020, 12:03:14 PM
Quote from: Toliman on January 26, 2020, 07:19:32 PM
Quote"I am begging you."
Oel fngo' ngati.

Not quite the same meaning for me, tbh.

Maybe, oe ätxäle s(er)i ngaru
Ah yeah, your idea is far better.


Quote from: Plumps on March 02, 2020, 12:03:14 PM
Quote from: Toliman on February 14, 2020, 05:38:17 PM
Quote from: archaic on February 14, 2020, 05:12:44 PM
This one I managed part of .....
"Oel ngatì teach you to plltxe nìna'vi."
I would say:
Oel kar ngati fya'oru fyape plltxe nì'Na'vi.

The other way around :D

Oel kar ngaru fya'ot a plltxe nìNa'vi.
Yeah, I considered also this one... is possible to say which translation is better in this case?

Plumps

Quote from: Toliman on March 02, 2020, 12:20:42 PM
Yeah, I considered also this one... is possible to say which translation is better in this case?

Well, grammatically at least the T- and R-ending is a given, because you teach something (the way) to somebody (you). If you were to use fyape ... that would indicate an indirect question  ??? :-\ Don't know how that would work. The only way I could think of was by connecting what you teach (the way) with a the act of speaking.

Toliman


archaic

Pasha, an Avatar story, my most recent fanfic, Avatar related, now complete.

The Dragon Affair my last fanfic, non Avatar related.

archaic

Time to dust off this thread again.


OK, how would a young native speaker say "Where am I?" ?
Pasha, an Avatar story, my most recent fanfic, Avatar related, now complete.

The Dragon Affair my last fanfic, non Avatar related.

Toliman

#49
Quote from: archaic on May 10, 2020, 04:11:34 PM
Time to dust off this thread again.
Txantsan :) So your fanfic work will continue?

Quote from: archaic on May 10, 2020, 04:11:34 PM
OK, how would a young native speaker say "Where am I?" ?
"Where am I?" = "Oel tok pesengit?"

archaic

Pasha, an Avatar story, my most recent fanfic, Avatar related, now complete.

The Dragon Affair my last fanfic, non Avatar related.

Toliman


Plumps

Quote from: Toliman on May 10, 2020, 04:21:29 PM
Quote from: archaic on May 10, 2020, 04:11:34 PM
OK, how would a young native speaker say "Where am I?" ?
"Where am I?" = "Oel tok pesengìl?"

Small typo, oel tok pesengit?

There are a few variations, though, apart from pesenget(i)/tsengpet(i)/pesengti/tsengepet – that's your preference

Because you emphazised a young native speaker, maybe you thought about slang?

We recently learned that tok can be left out colloquially.

pesenget oel? would also put the punch on 'I'. If where is more important leave it at oel pesengit?

Toliman

Ah yeah, typo... oel tok pesengit? of course :-[

(fixed)

archaic

Pasha, an Avatar story, my most recent fanfic, Avatar related, now complete.

The Dragon Affair my last fanfic, non Avatar related.

Toliman


archaic

So, I've been experiencing IT issues, looks like LN has had some too?
Any who, I intended to post these on tuesday, but that went out the window.


So, here are a few lines I've tried to translate. As always, all guidance very greatly appreciated.

"Fitseng onlorg lu ke." this place smells bad.
"Fitsen ke lu onlorg mi."this place still smells bad.
"Fitsneg säsyep lu, hilyifwo oe ke." This place is a trap, I will never escape.
"Fitseng Eywa'eveng lu ke, fitseng lu ngayä kifkey! Ngal oeti zamunge pelun? Pelun?" This place pandora is not, this place is alien homeworld! Why did you bring me here? Why?
"Ngayä atxar lu hek." your odor is peculiar.
"Kelku lu ke." this place is no home.
"Oe new oeyä sa'nu."  I want my mommy.
"Oeyä sa'nu lu kerusey." My mommy is dead.
Pasha, an Avatar story, my most recent fanfic, Avatar related, now complete.

The Dragon Affair my last fanfic, non Avatar related.

Toliman

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Fitseng onlorg lu ke." this place smells bad.
Fìtsengeri tìng ontu nìfe'.
(but I am not sure with this)

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Fitsen ke lu onlorg mi."this place still smells bad.
Fìtsengeri tìng ontu nìfe' mi.
(almost same sentence so again, I am not sure with this)

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Fitsneg säsyep lu, hilyifwo oe ke." This place is a trap, I will never escape.
Fìtsenge lu säyep, oe ke hayifwo kawkrr.

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Fitseng Eywa'eveng lu ke, fitseng lu ngayä kifkey! Ngal oeti zamunge pelun? Pelun?" This place pandora is not, this place is alien homeworld! Why did you bring me here? Why?
Fìtsenge ke lu Eywa'eveng, fìtsenge lu ngeyä kifkey! Pelun ngal zamunge oeti ne fìtseng? Pelun?
(fìtsenge lu ngeyä kifkey = this place is your world, fìtsenge lu ketuwongä kifkey = this place is alien's world)

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Ngayä atxar lu hek." your odor is peculiar.
You are right! Ngeyä atxar lu hek.

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Kelku lu ke." this place is no home.
Fìtsenge ke lu kelku.

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Oe new oeyä sa'nu."  I want my mommy.
Oel new oeyä sa'nut.

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Oeyä sa'nu lu kerusey." My mommy is dead.
You are right! Oeyä sa'nu lu kerusey.

Plumps

My take on these ...

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Fitseng onlorg lu ke." this place smells bad.

You need something here that is called the middle voice. Because the place itself doesn't smell. You perceive it as being bad-smelling.

The full form is

          fìtsengìri fahew fkan oer onvä'

but you could shorten it to

          fìtseng fkan (oer) (on)vä'


Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Fitsen ke lu onlorg mi."this place still smells bad.

See above. Shortest possible form:

          fìtseng mi fkan vä'

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Fitsneg säsyep lu, hilyifwo oe ke." This place is a trap, I will never escape.

Toliman got that right, except a small typo in säsyep

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Ngayä atxar lu hek." your odor is peculiar.

hek is itself the verb "be curious", so there is no lu needed. Also, atxar is an adjective and therefor can't be used with ngeyä; ngeyä needs a noun to glom on to.

          ngeyä fahew hek

Quote from: archaic on May 21, 2020, 12:19:56 PM
"Fitseng Eywa'eveng lu ke, fitseng lu ngayä kifkey! Ngal oeti zamunge pelun? Pelun?" This place pandora is not, this place is alien homeworld! Why did you bring me here? Why?
...
"Kelku lu ke." this place is no home.
"Oe new oeyä sa'nu."  I want my mommy.
"Oeyä sa'nu lu kerusey." My mommy is dead.

cf. Toliman's solutions.

archaic

Pasha, an Avatar story, my most recent fanfic, Avatar related, now complete.

The Dragon Affair my last fanfic, non Avatar related.