Kaltxì frapo! Na'vi Dialogue - Corrections?

Started by Avery, May 05, 2016, 07:51:58 AM

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Avery

Kaltxì frapo!

I've written a Na'vi dialogue that I'd love some help correcting. I was nicely told by Tirea Aean to post my dialogue here to get some advice. So that's what I'm doing! I'm also attaching it as a Microsoft Word document if that is easier to work from.

irayo
Avery
__________________________________

Avery: Hello, I'm called Avery.
altxì. oeru syaw Avery

Kyuna: Nice to meet you, Avery. I'm called Kyuna.
smon nìprrte Avery. oeru syaw Kyuna.

Avery: I'm new in Pandora.
I need a crossbow.
oeri zìma'uyu Pandora.
oeri  kin tskalep.

Kyuna: Yes, I offer a crossbow.
srane, oeri stxenutìng tskalep.

Avery: Excellent. I need a knife with a knife sheath too.
txantsan. Oeri kin tstal ulte tstalsena nìteng.

Kyuna: I offer a knife without a knife sheath. Sorry.
oeri stxenutìng luke tstalsena. Ngaytxoa

Avery: I need a kava bowl for the party.
oeri  kin swoasey fpi pongu.

Kyuna: Party is very important for the Na'vi. Yes, I offer a kava bowl.
pongu letsranten. Oeri stxenutìng swoasey.

Avery: Excellent. Also, I need a canoe with a canoe paddle for transportation.
txantsan.  Kop Oeri  kin  yaney ulte spulyaney fpi sämunge.

Kyuna:  I offer a canoe but I do not offer a canoe paddle.
ngaytxoa. Oeri stxenutìng yaney luke spulyaney.

Avery: Finally, I want to learn Na'vi. I want ten lessons with a teacher. 
nì'i'a Oeri  new newomum lì'fya Na'vi.

Kyuna: You speak so well.
But yes, I can teach you Na'vi.
Ten lessons with me.
I am not an apprentice teacher either.
plltxe nga nìltsan!
slä srane Oeri karyu Na'vi.
vo--mun sänumvi hu nga
oeri kaw'it karyunay

Avery: Excellent!
I am from Earth.
I offer dollars.
Do you accept dollars?

txantsan
oeri ta Earth.
oeri stxenutìng txolar.
srak mll'an txolar?

Kyuna: Yes, I accept dollars.
srane, Oeri mll'an txolar.

Avery: I offer $250.
oeri stxenutìng pxe-zam-ki-vo—mun txolar

Kyuna: Screw that. No way!
I demand $325!

pxasìk!
oeri fngo' mrr-zam---mrr txolar!

Avery: Do you accept $300?
srak mll'an  tsì-zam-mrr-vo—sìng txolar?

Kyuna: Eureka, I accept $300.
rolun. oeri mll'an tsì-zam-mrr-vo—sìng txolar.

Avery: Now, let's drink from my new kava bowl. No skyperson allowed!
maw näk swoasey fpi pongu. kaw'it Tawtute tung .















Tirea Aean

Kaltxì!

This is pretty nice overall! :)

As I'm editing this doc (my edits will be in bold), here are some things I've noticed:

Kyuna can't happen in Na'vi because "ky" is a consonant cluster that does not exist in Na'vi. It would have to be Kiyuna.

You use the topic suffix -ri pretty much every single time much like Japanese use wa. That's not how it works in Na'vi. When you have a transitive verb like hunt, eat, etc. The subject gets -l/-ìl and the object gets -ti/-it/-t.

Still working on this.. I'll edit this post or reply with the attachment when I can.

In the meantime, I'd like to say I love how you took so much time to practice so much at the very beginning. Usage of the language is crucial in grasping it. :D

Avery

Tirea Aean, you are amazingly helpful (srunga')!

I'm excited to see your corrections. Thank you!!! irayo!

Avery

Tirea Aean

#3
Here's the doc again. :) If you have any questions about the bold edits/corrections, I'd be glad to answer.

EDIT: Oops, I forgot to change all the Kyuna to Kiyuna.

Avery

kaltxì Tirea Aean!

Thank you so much for your help. I need to go through the document a few times to understand more about the changes. So I'll email you my questions as I get them.

But I do see the subject and object endings with the transitive verb endings. I just took all of the words from the dictionary and didn't know about those "cases" I guess you'd call them.

Don't worry, I can make the name changes for Kiyuna. Ftue!

How long have you been studying Na'vi? Do you prefer to work on your writing in Navi? Or your Na'vi speaking? Or both?

Irayo!
Avery

Tirea Aean

#5
Quote from: Avery on May 05, 2016, 09:15:48 AM
kaltxì Tirea Aean!

Kaltxì ma Avery!

(ma is a little thing you put before names or titles when you are addressing someone to talk directly to them.)

QuoteThank you so much for your help.

Nìprrte'! That's what I'm here for! :)

QuoteI need to go through the document a few times to understand more about the changes. So I'll email you my questions as I get them.

Awesome. :D

QuoteBut I do see the subject and object endings with the transitive verb endings. I just took all of the words from the dictionary and didn't know about those "cases" I guess you'd call them.

Cool. And that's okay. We all did the same thing before we knew about cases.  You see, we have these noun endings so that we can have more flexible word order. The word order does not dictate in Na'vi who does what to what like it does in English and other languages.

QuoteDon't worry, I can make the name changes for Kiyuna. Ftue!

Txantsan :)

QuoteHow long have you been studying Na'vi? Do you prefer to work on your writing in Navi? Or your Na'vi speaking? Or both?

I've been at this since Jan 2010 so a little over 6 years. O_o

I prefer everything! I love to speak when I can but everyone seems to just prefer to read and write all the time. I suppose many people are shy, maybe. If you're down, I'm down to practice speaking sometime with you (and anyone else interested)

QuoteIrayo!
Avery

Kea tìkin :) You're very welcome!