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Psalm 15

Started by Mako, January 08, 2012, 01:14:04 PM

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Mako

And here's another go at a passage from Psalms.

1 Yawä, pesu tsun kelku sivi mì ngeya swotu? Pesu tsun rivey sìn ngeyä swoka ram?
2 'Awpoyä tìtìran laro lu, pesul kem si ayuti a sìltsan, pesul plltxe tìngayti ta txe'lan;
3 Pesuyä ftxìl plltxe kea tìkawngit, pesul ke tìkxey si eylanur, pesul plltxe kea tìkawngit teri aylapo;
4 Pesul ve'kì kawnga tuteti slä >>>>>meuia si <<<<<aylapol txopu Yawäti.
5 Pesul tìng ayuti aylaru luke srefey tìtätxawti, pesul ke mll'an tìkawngit teri sìltsana sute. Po kem si ayfi'u ke zayup.

- Psalms 15

Tirea Aean

#1
my take: (discussion, suggestions as always are welcome)










Psalms 15:1  LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill?
ma Yawä pesu tsun kelku sivi ngengeyä swotumì? Pesu tsun mì swoka ram ngengeyä rivey?
LORD, who can dwell in your sacred place? Who can in holy mountain your live?
Psalms 15:2  He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.
Tute a tìran nìpxim sì tìkangkem amuiä si sì plltxe tìngayit mì te'lan
Person who walks upright and does fair/right work and speaks truth in heart
Psalms 15:3  He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.
Po a ke plltxe tìkawngit fa ftxì, kawnga kem ke si laporu, ke plltxe aylì'ut a tìsraw si lapor
He who not speak evil with tongue, evil action not do to another, not speak words which hurt another
Psalms 15:4  In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the LORD. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.
po a kawnga tutet ve'kì; slä tìng meuiat foru a Y. Po a pänutìng sneyä txe'lanur, ulte ke latem.
He who evil person hates; but gives honor to them who Y. He that promises his (own) heart, and not changes.
Psalms 15:5  He that putteth not out his money to usury, nor taketh reward against the innocent. He that doeth these things shall never be moved.Po a tìng ayuti aylaheru, ke sreferey 'uot ulte ke munge stxelit wä sneyä sute. Pot a fayhem si kawkrr ke 'ärìp fkolHe who gives things to others, not expecting something and not take gift against his (own) people. Him who does these actions never move {generic third person agent}

Missing/untranslatable words/phrases:

X=contemned (solved with translating from NIV)
Y="fear the LORD"
Z="lend with interest"
A=reward
B=innocent
(solved via NIV and Amplified)

Mako

Now bear with me as I continue to modify this post with my thoughts.

The main discrepancy I have is that the translation I use reads "who can" which is why I used tsun, because it makes it more exclusive. It's not everyone.

As for the rest, I can see why you did certain things, but would it be incorrect to translate it in the way that I did?

Tirea Aean

#3
Who shall is just as exclusive as who can. Maybe I will edit that as tsun. That's a good thought there.

EDIT:

OH. I like what you did there. You see, I saw this thread, and had to bolt out the door so I took note that you translated Psalm 15 so on the road, I edited my own take on my Tab. I didnt get the chance to refer to your post here.

I will edit my version to incorporate bits of your version that I like better.

Mako

#4
Quote from: Tirea Aean on January 09, 2012, 02:43:40 PM
Who shall is just as exclusive as who can. Maybe I will edit that as tsun. That's a good thought there.

EDIT:

OH. I like what you did there. You see, I saw this thread, and had to bolt out the door so I took note that you translated Psalm 15 so on the road, I edited my own take on my Tab. I didnt get the chance to refer to your post here.

I will edit my version to incorporate bits of your version that I like better.

The great Tirea Aean finds value in something I translated into Na'vi! Day=made :P lol jk, but it feels good to finally have noticable progress in writing Na'vi.

EDIT: I do like, and so it is fitting, the way you used ngengeyä. That's the formal version, srak?

Tirea Aean

#5
of course there is value in your input!! :D

formal/honorific/ceremonial?

*Still Done editing post*

Mako

And here I was thinking that there would be something worth reading in that edit :P

I like doing translations like this. It's a good way to practice.

Tirea Aean

it definitely is. It is a challenge and a fun one at that. ;D

`Eylan Ayfalulukanä

And one that could someday make a difference in someone else's life!

Irayo for your contributions, Reyona!

Yawey ngahu!
pamrel si ro [email protected]

Tirea Aean

Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on January 10, 2012, 02:34:32 AM
And one that could someday make a difference in someone else's life!

Irayo for your contributions, Reyona!

this. its good to have so much recent activity in.this board. thanks for volunteering and posting translation ideas. :) (and of course I thank All others who do that here too.)

Eltu Lefngap Makto

ma Tirea, you've been a beneficent God-father of late!

Oe nìprrte' seiyi irayo ngaru!
'Ivong, Na'vi!

Tirea Aean

Quote from: Eltu Lefngap Makto on January 10, 2012, 08:06:59 PM
ma Tirea, you've been a beneficent God-father of late!

Oe nìprrte' seiyi irayo ngaru!


Pum ngeyä! YOU are the of the ones taking initiative and posting new verse translations. :D (Maybe I'll eventually post a few. Actually, you can find all mine at twitter.com/naviversedaily which was a failed attempt to tweet a Na'vi verse translation every day. I was bogged down with many things when I made that account.)

Eltu Lefngap Makto

the pillaging for my wiki has begun ...
'Ivong, Na'vi!

Mako

Quote from: Eltu Lefngap Makto on January 10, 2012, 08:54:43 PM
the pillaging for my wiki has begun ...

Please by all means! And fix the help page!

Eltu Lefngap Makto

'Ivong, Na'vi!

Tirea Aean

do you source your stuff to origin? Like will I be credited for submitting those tweets?

Eltu Lefngap Makto

Quote from: Tirea Aean on January 10, 2012, 09:21:22 PM
do you source your stuff to origin? Like will I be credited for submitting those tweets?

I hadn't thought about that ...  :-[  Maybe we can call it the Tireayä Lì'u?  :-\  ;)
'Ivong, Na'vi!

Mako

No, I meant on your wiki. It's hecka confusing! ;D

Tirea Aean

Quote from: Eltu Lefngap Makto on January 10, 2012, 09:28:34 PM
Quote from: Tirea Aean on January 10, 2012, 09:21:22 PM
do you source your stuff to origin? Like will I be credited for submitting those tweets?

I hadn't thought about that ...  :-[  Maybe we can call it the Tireayä Lì'u?  :-\  ;)

Do the Bible verse entries on your wiki credit the authors who submitted them to the project? If not, it would be a cool idea to see who submitted what. You don't have to go down to say who helped with what, just mainly who originally did the translation (unless someone who helped had an entirely different translation and that is the one which we all end up sticking with) does that make sense?

Eltu Lefngap Makto

Quote from: Reyona te Tsateka Ray'i'itan on January 10, 2012, 09:30:25 PM
No, I meant on your wiki. It's hecka confusing! ;D
Seriously, please tell me what's difficult.  I'm trying to sell the powers-at-be on the idea of folding it into LN, so please point out what is confusing.  I've parred it down too much lately, trying to make it look the same in all languages. (It's translated into English, Dutch, Czech, German, Estonian, Chinese, Swedish, Russian, Portuguese and French.)

Quote from: Tirea Aean on January 10, 2012, 09:38:13 PM
Do the Bible verse entries on your wiki credit the authors who submitted them to the project? If not, it would be a cool idea to see who submitted what. You don't have to go down to say who helped with what, just mainly who originally did the translation (unless someone who helped had an entirely different translation and that is the one which we all end up sticking with) does that make sense?
That could get cumbersome for all 32,000 verses ...  :-\
'Ivong, Na'vi!