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Worship Songs

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Stranger Come Knocking:
I wasn't sure where to put this, either here or in the Fan Music or Pamrel or wherever.  This seemed most appropriate, but feel free to move it. :) Anyway, I was sort of hoping to translate a few of my favorite songs (only one of which I have "finished") or just start a thread to translate any/all worship songs.  Songs are especially difficult, I find.  So...here goes.

Spoiler: With Everything : Hu Fra'uI've found there seem to be two versions of this.  This is the one we sing in church, but I'm currently listening to the Hillsong Live version and it has a different opening verse. :-\ Thoughts?

| line-by-line; I have a bad habit of literal translation
v

Verse
Kivulat te’lan
Wivintxu ayoeng a
Tsngeykawvìk ngaru
Lu sìnong a nga new
Atan lu tsole’a

Skiva’a tslezonan
Sì tslenga zongtseng
Le’rta ayhawre’t sì tìnewt
Ayoel tìng Ngaru

Chorus
Fiväkä tìsìlpey
Txopu sivi tìvawm
Mì ngeyä swoka atan
Fte franari tsaye’a
Yeysu Yawey
Nawm sì fkew ftozä si

Yawey fratrrä
Kosman mì Ngeyä frakem
Fkew sì nawm sì txantsan
Mì atan Ngeyä tstxoyä

Bridge
Hu fra’u, hu fra’u
Ayoe syolaw fpì Ngeyä tìkosman
Hu fra’u, hu fra’u
Ayoe syolaw Ngeyä tìfkew

Wou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou

Spoiler: Tell the World : Piveng KifkeyAs it is, most everything works out perfectly.  I was singing this with the English version.  The few verse and last two chorus lines require some tricky mouth work and the second verse feels like it's missing some syllables, though.



Verse 1
Ke new kivllkxem sì plltxe Ngeyä tìnawm
Kä neto sì tswa' Ngeyä tstxo
Oe rey fpì Nga
Nìwotx a oe kem si
Kawtu lu na Nga

Pre-Chorus
Fra'u oe new mì sìrey lu Nga
Fra'u oe new mì hifkey lu Nga
Lu Nga

Chorus
Piveng kifkey a
Yeysu rey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey a Po terkup fpì fo
Piveng kifkey a Po rey nìmun

Verse 2
Ke "Oe" ki Yeysu mì oe
Ngeyä tìngayl lonu oet
Kifkey livu nì'ul sìltsan?
Nga lu fkew
Nga lu nawm

Pre-Chorus
Fra'u oe new mì sìrey lu Nga
Fra'u oe new mì hifkey lu Nga
Nga
Nga

Chorus
Piveng kifkey a
Yeysu rey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey a Po terkup fpì fo
Piveng kifkey a Po rey nìmun

Bridge
Kä ko!
Kä ko!
Ayoel fot payeng Ngateri

Chorus
Piveng kifkey a
Yeysu rey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey a Po terkup fpì fo
Piveng kifkey a Po rey nìmun

Outro
Kä ko, kä ko
Ayoel fot piveng Ngateri
(Piveng kifkey, piveng kifkey)

Tag
Teri Nga

Niri Te:
 It looks very easy to sing, and the timing looks good, even though I would need a dictionary to be able to understand each word.
 Do you play on a worship team at Church?
Niri Te

Stranger Come Knocking:

--- Quote from: Niri Te on February 12, 2012, 04:15:00 pm --- It looks very easy to sing, and the timing looks good, even though I would need a dictionary to be able to understand each word.

--- End quote ---
Hahaha, don't we all? (Don't answer that.)


--- Quote from: Niri Te on February 12, 2012, 04:15:00 pm --- Do you play on a worship team at Church?
Niri Te

--- End quote ---
Goodness, no!  I have transcended the rank of soprano into a realm that frightens small children and the people around me and myself.

No, but I work on the computer (Do you know what ProPresenter is?).

`Eylan Ayfalulukanä:
My 'kitties' can go an octave or two below me....  ;)

Nice work on the translation! (This is a worship song I am not familiar. I haven't been a regular churchgoer for about 7 years, but I have recently started attending a new church that just opened in a space right over my head at work!) There are some things that need work, though. I don't have time to go over it line by line right now, but two things draw immediate attention. First of all, you seem to overuse the <iv> infix. This infix should be used for things you wish for, or want. You are using it places (like the first line) that there really isn't a wishful condition, but rather a statement of fact or condition. <iv> is also used for commands, but can be omitted if the command is clearly imperative. (The third common place is modal constructions, but I didn't see any of these.) You also used a perfective tense infix <ol> in a place where a simple future tense would have worked a bit better. Also, capitalize the pronouns that refer to Yawey. You may also consider using the honorific register for these pronouns, but you can omit these as well, to get the rhythm right.

The translation in the refrain seems a lot stronger, and I bet you started with it!

Yawey ngahu

Stranger Come Knocking:

--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---My 'kitties' can go an octave or two below me....  ;)

--- End quote ---
Yeah?  Post-soprano competition!


--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---Nice work on the translation!

--- End quote ---
Yayz! *warm fuzzies* :D


--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---(This is a worship song I am not familiar. I haven't been a regular churchgoer for about 7 years, but I have recently started attending a new church that just opened in a space right over my head at work!)

--- End quote ---



--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---There are some things that need work, though. I don't have time to go over it line by line right now, but two things draw immediate attention. First of all, you seem to overuse the <iv> infix.

--- End quote ---
IV!  IVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIV!


--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---This infix should be used for things you wish for, or want. You are using it places (like the first line) that there really isn't a wishful condition, but rather a statement of fact or condition.

--- End quote ---
Specific line? ???


--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---<iv> is also used for commands, but can be omitted if the command is clearly imperative.

--- End quote ---
Right, but I thought "iv" was polite or not quite so... NOW!
Spoiler: This may or may not make sense, but...Quenya Grammar:

Ma nin atanlyë... --> Couldst thou hand me...? --> T<iv>ìng

Ma nin atantyë... --> Can you give me...? --> T<iv>ìng

Anin anta...! --> Give me...! --> <iv> --> Tìng!



--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---You also used a perfective tense infix <ol> in a place where a simple future tense would have worked a bit better.

--- End quote ---
Where?


--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---Also, capitalize the pronouns that refer to Yawey. You may also consider using the honorific register for these pronouns, but you can omit these as well, to get the rhythm right.

--- End quote ---
Gotcha on the first part.  You lost me on the second.


--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---The translation in the refrain seems a lot stronger, and I bet you started with it!

--- End quote ---
What's a refrain?
î I'm just the techie.


--- Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on February 13, 2012, 03:07:28 pm ---Yawey ngahu

--- End quote ---
Irayo. :D Yawey ngahu.

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