Worship Songs

[Stranger Come Knocking]

I wasn't sure where to put this, either here or in the Fan Music or Pamrel or wherever.  This seemed most appropriate, but feel free to move it. Anyway, I was sort of hoping to translate a few of my favorite songs (only one of which I have "finished") or just start a thread to translate any/all worship songs.  Songs are especially difficult, I find.  So...here goes.

Spoiler: With Everything : Hu Fra'u

I've found there seem to be two versions of this.  This is the one we sing in church, but I'm currently listening to the Hillsong Live version and it has a different opening verse. Thoughts?

| line-by-line; I have a bad habit of literal translation
v

Verse
Kivulat te'lan
Wivintxu ayoeng a
Tsngeykawvìk ngaru
Lu sìnong a nga new
Atan lu tsole'a

Skiva'a tslezonan
Sì tslenga zongtseng
Le'rta ayhawre't sì tìnewt
Ayoel tìng Ngaru

Chorus
Fiväkä tìsìlpey
Txopu sivi tìvawm
Mì ngeyä swoka atan
Fte franari tsaye'a
Yeysu Yawey
Nawm sì fkew ftozä si

Yawey fratrrä
Kosman mì Ngeyä frakem
Fkew sì nawm sì txantsan
Mì atan Ngeyä tstxoyä

Bridge
Hu fra'u, hu fra'u
Ayoe syolaw fpì Ngeyä tìkosman
Hu fra'u, hu fra'u
Ayoe syolaw Ngeyä tìfkew

Wou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou

Spoiler: Tell the World : Piveng Kifkey

As it is, most everything works out perfectly.  I was singing this with the English version.  The few verse and last two chorus lines require some tricky mouth work and the second verse feels like it's missing some syllables, though.

Tell The World That - Hillsong united

Verse 1
Ke new kivllkxem sì plltxe Ngeyä tìnawm
Kä neto sì tswa' Ngeyä tstxo
Oe rey fpì Nga
Nìwotx a oe kem si
Kawtu lu na Nga

Pre-Chorus
Fra'u oe new mì sìrey lu Nga
Fra'u oe new mì hifkey lu Nga
Lu Nga

Chorus
Piveng kifkey a
Yeysu rey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey a Po terkup fpì fo
Piveng kifkey a Po rey nìmun

Verse 2
Ke "Oe" ki Yeysu mì oe
Ngeyä tìngayl lonu oet
Kifkey livu nì'ul sìltsan?
Nga lu fkew
Nga lu nawm

Pre-Chorus
Fra'u oe new mì sìrey lu Nga
Fra'u oe new mì hifkey lu Nga
Nga
Nga

Chorus
Piveng kifkey a
Yeysu rey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey a Po terkup fpì fo
Piveng kifkey a Po rey nìmun

Bridge
Kä ko!
Kä ko!
Ayoel fot payeng Ngateri

Chorus
Piveng kifkey a
Yeysu rey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey
Piveng kifkey a Po terkup fpì fo
Piveng kifkey a Po rey nìmun

Outro
Kä ko, kä ko
Ayoel fot piveng Ngateri
(Piveng kifkey, piveng kifkey)

Tag
Teri Nga

[Niri Te]

 It looks very easy to sing, and the timing looks good, even though I would need a dictionary to be able to understand each word.
Do you play on a worship team at Church?
Niri Te

[Stranger Come Knocking]

It looks very easy to sing, and the timing looks good, even though I would need a dictionary to be able to understand each word.

Hahaha, don't we all? (Don't answer that.)

Do you play on a worship team at Church?
Niri Te

Goodness, no!  I have transcended the rank of soprano into a realm that frightens small children and the people around me and myself.

No, but I work on the computer (Do you know what ProPresenter is?).

[`Eylan Ayfalulukanä]

My 'kitties' can go an octave or two below me.... 

Nice work on the translation! (This is a worship song I am not familiar. I haven't been a regular churchgoer for about 7 years, but I have recently started attending a new church that just opened in a space right over my head at work!) There are some things that need work, though. I don't have time to go over it line by line right now, but two things draw immediate attention. First of all, you seem to overuse the <iv> infix. This infix should be used for things you wish for, or want. You are using it places (like the first line) that there really isn't a wishful condition, but rather a statement of fact or condition. <iv> is also used for commands, but can be omitted if the command is clearly imperative. (The third common place is modal constructions, but I didn't see any of these.) You also used a perfective tense infix <ol> in a place where a simple future tense would have worked a bit better. Also, capitalize the pronouns that refer to Yawey. You may also consider using the honorific register for these pronouns, but you can omit these as well, to get the rhythm right.

The translation in the refrain seems a lot stronger, and I bet you started with it!

Yawey ngahu

[Stranger Come Knocking]

My 'kitties' can go an octave or two below me.... 

Yeah?  Post-soprano competition!

Nice work on the translation!

Yayz! *warm fuzzies*

(This is a worship song I am not familiar. I haven't been a regular churchgoer for about 7 years, but I have recently started attending a new church that just opened in a space right over my head at work!)

With Everything - Hillsong United - Passion 2010

There are some things that need work, though. I don't have time to go over it line by line right now, but two things draw immediate attention. First of all, you seem to overuse the <iv> infix.

IV!  IVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIVIV!

This infix should be used for things you wish for, or want. You are using it places (like the first line) that there really isn't a wishful condition, but rather a statement of fact or condition.

Specific line?

<iv> is also used for commands, but can be omitted if the command is clearly imperative.

Right, but I thought "iv" was polite or not quite so... NOW!

Spoiler: This may or may not make sense, but...

Quenya Grammar:

Ma nin atanlyë... --> Couldst thou hand me...? --> T<iv>ìng

Ma nin atantyë... --> Can you give me...? --> T<iv>ìng

Anin anta...! --> Give me...! --> <iv> --> Tìng!

You also used a perfective tense infix <ol> in a place where a simple future tense would have worked a bit better.

Where?

Also, capitalize the pronouns that refer to Yawey. You may also consider using the honorific register for these pronouns, but you can omit these as well, to get the rhythm right.

Gotcha on the first part.  You lost me on the second.

The translation in the refrain seems a lot stronger, and I bet you started with it!

What's a refrain?
î I'm just the techie.

Yawey ngahu

Irayo. Yawey ngahu.

[Alyara Arati]

I know that this thread is disused, but I thought this link belonged here.

http://forum.learnnavi.org/pamtseo-ninavi-niaw/oeri-fiatantsyip-this-little-light-of-mine/

[`Eylan Ayfalulukanä]

I have long-forgot we had a thread like this. Perhaps a good reason for me to translate a favorite worship some or two!

[Stranger Come Knocking]

So I woke up this morning and decided I was going to translate another song into not just one, but a dozen languages.  This is what happened.  It is actually predominantly Quenya Elvish, however, for the chorus and bridge, I also included _{just a little} High Valyrian, Na'vi, Astapori Valyrian, Dothraki, Swahili, Latin, Afrikaans, Italian, French, German, Anishinaabemowin, and Russian.  I would be curious to know what you all think.

*Sing-ability not included >_>

The Result	The Literal	What I Worked Of Off
Nan Ontar i meneliva, nan I calima ar arinya elen, nan Súlë carmëo Ya ilumë nen Ar túla Nan Eru ya vannë nénessë, nan Eru ya sertanë ëar, nan árë ar silmë Tanen a cenë Ar a hilyan Ar istuvat Iksan Qelbar glaesarȳr iēdro Sīmonta trēsy valo Tepatys ābrar Se skorī limāt, oe lu Zongyu sì zongtseng A yolur ngeyä tìvawmìt Trr'ong sì txon'ong Tì'i'avay krrä Oe lu Nan Coacalina lyessë, nan Lussë óretyassë, nan Eru ya sintet Nó nostatya Paluva nó net Hatif rhaeshesersi, vekhat Ulimwengu, nimekuwa In animo omno, ego Waar jy is, ek is Signore dei signori, Sono Roi des rois, Je suis Das heilig Lamm, Ich bin Ishpayi'ii akina gegoo Nyk skan Oa sumby si oa kiba Ji trezy eme vala J'azanty eme v'adjo Si esko ilima, я твой спаситель кто носил грехи человечества Автор и создатель Начало и конец Я	I am The creator of the heavens, I am The bright and morning star, I am The breath of creation Who always was And is coming I am The one who walked on water, I am The one who made the sea rest, I am Sunlight and starlight Therefore see And follow And you will know I am The river of living water The risen son of man Giver of life And when you cry, I am Savior and refuge Who washed away your darkness Morning and evening Forever I am I am The light of the house within you, I am The whisper in your heart, I am The one who knew you Before your birth Even before you were Before the world, I am The universe, I am In every heart, I am Where you are, I am Lord of lords, I am King of kings, I am The holy Lamb, I am Over everything I am Your shield and your father The son of man The knight of the child And when you cry, I am Your savior Who bore the sins of mankind Author and creator Beginning and the end I am	I am The maker of the Heavens, I am The bright and morning star, I am The breath of all Creation Who always was And is to come I am The One who walked on water, I am The One who calmed the seas, I am The miracles and wonders So come and see And follow me You will know I am The fount of living water The risen Son of man The healer of the broken And when you cry I am Your savior and redeemer Who bore the sins of man The author and perfecter Beginning and the end I am I am The spirit deep inside you, I am The word upon your heart, I am The One who even knew you Before your birth Before you were Before the Earth, I am The universe, I am In every heart, I am Oh, where you are, I am The Lord of lords, I am The King of Kings, I am The Holy lamb, I am Above all things I am Almighty God your Father The risen Son of man The healer of the broken And when you cry I am Your savior and redeemer Who bore the sins of man The author and perfecter Beginning and the end I am

I will admit to attempting some word play, such as "zongyu sì zongtseng" to try to convey both a kind of action (someone saving you) as well as the noun or state of being (being in a safe place).  Also, using Russian last so I could have "Я" be the last word, as it is the last letter of the Russian alphabet (Beginning and End and such), added to the repeated use of morning and evening, sunlight and starlight, etc.

Edit: I found my complete English-Quenya dictionary. o.o Okay, we're just going to modify this a squidge.

[`Eylan Ayfalulukanä]

Txantsan!

Another song I am not familiar with.

It would be interesting to see the Quenya translation alongside this.

I should translate a song I know. I started one, but I stopped for some reason. Let's see what the weekend holds for me. I never know one day to the next what is going to happen anymore

[Stranger Come Knocking]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hILaSh78yHQ

Mark Schultz - I Am

[Stranger Come Knocking]

Had to do a little contracting for syllables' sake, but otherwise it sings and rhymes very well I'd say.  So how did I do?

Spoiler: Music Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJxrX42WcjQ

Na'vi	Literal	Original
Oe lu alìm Oeyä tirea lu ngeyn Ayrrap za'u Fpomìt 'anla txe'lan Fäkä oe ts'krr Oe pey mìsìfnu V'krr za'u nga Ulte heyn oehu Ngal kxeltek oet Fte oe tsun tsivyìl ayram Ngal kxeltek oet Fte oel terìran sìnpay't Oe lu seykxel Oe tok mì ngeyä etnaw Ngal kxeltek oet Fte oe 'ivong Lu ke tìrey Ke tìrey luke tsawä yewla Oel 'efu 'ekongìt txe'lanä Tsakrr za'u nga Ngal 'aku tse'atswot Ulte oe kame Tsenga nga tok Ngal kxeltek oet Fte oe tsun tsivyìl ayram Ngal kxeltek oet Fte oel terìran sìnpay't Oe lu seykxel Oe tok mì ngeyä etnaw Ngal kxeltek oet Fte oe 'ivong	I am far away My soul is tired Storms come The heart longs for peace Then I ascend I wait in the silence Until you come And sit with me You raise me up So I can climb mountains You raise me up So I am walking on water I am strong I am upon your shoulders You raise me up So I may bloom There is no life No life without it's disappointment I feel the heartbeat Then you come You remove the sight And then I see Where you are You raise me up So I can climb mountains You raise me up So I am walking on water I am strong I am upon your shoulders You raise me up So I may bloom	When I am down And, oh, my soul, so weary When troubles come And my heart burdened be Then I am still And wait here in the silence Until You come And sit a while with me You raise me up So I can stand on mountains You raise me up To walk on stormy seas I am strong When I am on Your shoulders You raise me up To more than I can be There is no life No life without its hunger Each restless heart beats so imperfectly But when You come And I am filled with wonder Sometimes I think I glimpse eternity You raise me up So I can stand on mountains You raise me up To walk on stormy seas I am strong When I am on Your shoulders You raise me up To more than I can be