Rerey mi (Still alive)

[Muzer]

This is my second song that I've attempted to translate!

EDIT: Changed the title, finally

This one I'm even less sure of than Bohemian Rhapsody - and Feiane, I only just read your post in that thread when I was just about to post this, so I'll go through this and look for the same errors after I've fixed Bohemian Rhapsody.

I've loaned a few words, and a few grammar structures I guessed at because I wasn't altogether sure - though where I had to guess I did the guess that would make it rhyme best! HRH.

This was a triumph
Fì'u lamu sìltsan
This be-past good

I'm making a note here: Huge success
Oe pamrel seri set, san apxa tìflä sìk
I writing do-imperfective now, quote big noun-succeed unquote.

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Lu ngäzìk fwa emplltxe tìnitramit.
Be hard this over-speak noun-happy. (Couldn't find a word for "state", "estimate", "predict"... so just put speak)

Aperture Science
Äpetrr sayensa
"Apeture science" (Although I don't use it here, thanks kemeoauniaea for the word for science - but since this is a proper noun, I kept it phonetic)

We do what we must because we can
Awngal txula futa zene taweyk tsun
We-ERG build this-ACC must because can

For the good of all of us
Fpi ayoeng nìwotx
For we all

Except the ones who are dead
Mungwrr sute akerusey
Except person-LENITED ADJ-dead

But there's no sense crying over every mistake
Slä ke lu lesar fwa tsngawvìk teri frakxeyey
But not be useful this cry about every-mistake

You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake!
Fko nì'aw nìtut fmi vaykrr yom nìwotx keykit!
One only continually try until eat all "cake"-ACC (we can't not have a word for "cake")!

And the science gets done,
Ulte kifkeyt ftia,
And world-ACC study,

And you make a neat gun,
Ulte sìltsana kunit txula,
And good-ADJ gun-ACC make,

For the people who are still alive
Fpi aysute a rerey mi
For plural-person-LENITED which/that/who be still noun-alive

I'm not even angry
Oe keng ke sti
I not even be-angry

I'm being so sincere right now.
Oe leru fìtxan ngay set.
I be-imperfective so true now.

Even though you broke my heart,
Slä keng ngal fwel sami oeyä txe'lanur,
But even you-ERG broken do-past I-GEN heart-DAT,

And killed me,
Ulte tspang oet
And kill I-ACC

And tore me to pieces,
Ulte fwel sami ayhapxìr
And broken do-past plural-part-DAT

And threw every piece into a fire.
Ulte tsrame'i frahapxìt sìn txep.
And throw-past every-piece-ACC onto fire.

As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Tengkrr namekx, tìsraw sami, talun oe lamu fìtxan nitram ngari!
While burn-past, hurt do-past, because I be-past so happy you-TOP!

Now these points of data make a beautiful line,
Set fayholpxayl lu hapxì tìyeyä alor,
Now these-numbers-ERG be part noun-straight-GEN ADJ-beautiful,

And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time.
Ulte awnga ke fmeretok, tìryìng ye'rìn.
And we not test-imperfective, give-near-future-imperfective soon.

So I'm glad I got burned.
Tafral oe lu nitram a oe namekx.
Therefore I be happy that I burn-past.

Think of all the things we learned
Fpìl wotx ayuyä a awnga namume
Think totally plural-thing-GEN that we learn-past

For the people who are still alive
Fpi aysute a rerey mi
For plural-person-LENITED which/that/who be still noun-alive

Go ahead and leave me.
Salew ulte txìng oet.
Proceed and abandon me-ACC.

I think I prefer to stay inside.
Oel fpìl futa nulnew 'ivì'awn mìfa.
I-ERG think that prefer stay-subjunctive inside.

Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Kxawm tuteol alahe srung sayi ngaru.
Maybe someone-ERG ADJ-other help do-future you-DAT.

Maybe Black Mesa -
Kxawm Fläk Mesa -
Maybe "Black Mesa" -

That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance!
Tsa'u lamu tìhangham, hangham, ke lu skxom!
That be-past noun-laugh, laugh, not be chance! (We don't yet have onomatopoeia for laughing yet, do we?)

Anyway, this cake is great,
Fìkeykìri lu sìltsan,
This-cake-TOP be good,

It's so delicious and moist!
Lu nìtxan sìltsan sì lepay
Be so good and ADJ-water (we lack words for tastes AFAIK)

Look at me still talking when there's science to do
Nìn oet, oel mi perlltxe krr a zivene kifkey ftivia
Look-at I-ACC, I-ERG still speak-imperfective time that be this world study

When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you!
Oe käsatsengur tìng nari a krr, oeru leyku nitram a oe ke lu nga!
I out-there look that time, I-DAT be-causative glad I not be you!

I've experiments to run, there is research to be done,
Lu oeru sìfmetok, lu fwa nume ayuti,
Be I-DAT test-LENITED, be that learn plural-thing-ACC,

On the people who are still alive.
Teri sute a rerey mi
Concerning person-LENITED which/that/who be still alive.

And believe me I am still alive.
Ulte spaw oet, oe rerey mi.
And believe I-ACC, I be still alive.

I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
Oe ftia kifkey ulte rerey mi.
I study world and I be still alive.

I feel fantastic and I'm still alive.
Oeru lu fpom ulte rerey mi.
I be well and be still alive.

While you're dying I'll be still alive.
Oe rayey mi tengkrr nga tererkup.
Be-future still alive while you die-imperfective.

And when you're dead I will be still alive.
Ulte lu kerusey a krr, oe rayey mi!
And be dead that time, I be still alive!

Still alive,
Rerey mi,
Still alive,

Still alive.
Rerey mi.
Still alive.

[Niwantaw]

hmmm..

i may start singing this....

[Muzer]

I've just realised I used fko instead of tsa'u or tsaw - d'oh!


EDIT: Fixed, also stripped a word to save syllables...


I'll now look for all my adpositions and separate them as per the other thread 

[Niwantaw]

i would of thought you would use black mesa with a na'vi spelling because it is a name of a company...

[Muzer]

I haven't actually played the game (blasphemy! I am planning to though since I've heard that it's free until the 24th - does that mean free to download and play forever even after the 24th, or only free to play after the 24th at which point you must buy it?) - so I didn't know that

It'd be hard to phonetically do "black" - fläk maybe?

[Niwantaw]

maybe..
but black mesa are not actually in the game they are from Half-life (Which rocks) which is mabe by the same people
aperture science is the name of the company in the game
and...

Spoiler

GET PORTAL!!

[Muzer]

Yes, yes, I'm downloading it (or trying to anyway) as we speak


I'm normally rubbish at FPSes which is why I don't play Halo - Portal isn't an FPS so to speak though, so I'll probably be better at that.

[Niwantaw]

i'm listening to this song as i post...
i'm going to have to sing it in na'vi...
(and i can do a good comp voice too! XD)

[Muzer]

I've just realised I'd written "for the person who is still alive" - oops, will fix next time I'm on a real computer

EDIT: Fix'd, also replaced "science" with a better approximation (I'd forgotten "ay" exists)

[kewnya txamew'itan]

We have a Frommerian phrase for science.

It's tìftia kifkeyä or the study of the physical world. For my translation I just used (tì)ftia depending on context.

[Muzer]

Oh right, I just assumed there wouldn't be one - I didn't even check, hrh

I'll change it.

[Niwantaw]

Aperture Science is the name of the company so it will stay more or less the same I would of thought

[Muzer]

Ah - I'll keep it "Aperture Science" then.

[Muzer]

Lol - I didn't realise until now that kemeoauniaea had also done one

Yeah, as he said, mine is more faithful but much harder to sing to the original tune due to the syllable difference, whereas his is much easier to sing - so if anyone's going to sing one, it should be his. Unless I can get mine down to a reasonable length but I doubt it's possible without basically making it like his.

[kewnya txamew'itan]

I've got a few grammar and vocab points now, I'll number them by line.

2. Might tìflä be better than tìemza'u?

3. As far as we know, txa' just means hard as in the opposite of soft, by all means use it for difficult, just be aware that it might be wrong. Also, em is gone, it's a word derived from just two examples so again, I'd be wary of it, I like how you approached the "overstate" though.

5. This depends on how you interpret the line. In mind, GLaDOS is justifying her actions in imprisoning Chell, trying to kill her etc. rather than stating that she's built things, because of this I used a construction based on (fì/tsa/fay/tsay)kem si, but, depending on your interpretation of the line, yours is also valid.

6. Might want a nìwotx, otherwise the "all of" gets a bit lost.

7. kerusey is a participle, because of this, it can't be used predicatively as you've done here, it should either be "sute a ke rerey", "sute akerusey" or possibly just ayheruseytu.

8. Mistake isn't the object of the crying, it's part of a relative clause that you've not got a verb for "from reason that is every mistake" so it should be "taluna frakxeyey lu" instead; alternatively you could use -teri- to get "Slä ke lu lesar fwa tsngawvìk teri frakxeyey"

9. I don't think tut can be used like that. Tut is effectively just like the too in "you too?" it implies that the rest of the previous sentence is the same apart from the new words said before it, putting nì- on it doesn't make sense either, what you're looking for is best represented by mi although if you do this you might have to drop the nì'aw unless you want to make it sound as if you have to give up when you run out of cake.

11. There's no verb here, you need txula.

12. Again, rusey is a participle, it can't be used like this, either go with sute arusey or if you want to keep the relative clause go with sute a rerey or lastly just rusey as a noun. That said, I'm not sure if rusey's specialness as regards also being a noun allows it to be used predicatively as well or not.

15. si verbs never taken an accusative object, txe'lan should be dative.

16. The past infix is implied by the previous sentence, you can drop it for this one.

17. Not sure what to do with this one, because of the si verbs take no accusative objects, oe must be dative which leaves pieces to be sorted, I'm not sure it's a true dative and I think it's implied by the made me broken as well.

19. nga would be better in the topical case. As a dative it makes it sound as if you're putting on a front pretending to be happy to nga.

20. ngop is create not a generic make, you probably want "lu hapxì tìyeyä alor"

21. tìfmusetok might be better here. Also, you might want an imperfective in tìng as well as the ìy.

22. nekx is probably intransitive, taking a causative form for me burning a piece of paper so I'd leave oe unmarked.

23. nìwotx is an adverb, you want to say "wotx ayuyä a awnga namume"

24. Again, rusey is a participle, it can't be used like this, either go with sute arusey or if you want to keep the relative clause go with sute a rerey or lastly just rusey as a noun. That said, I'm not sure if rusey's specialness as regards also being a noun allows it to be used predicatively as well or not.

26. You've got a but it isn't tied to a noun, you'd need to say "oel fpìl futa".

28. I'd probably have transliterated black mesa as plläk mesa instead but yours is valid.

29. No we don't have a ha ha equivalent but we do have lol = herangham, it's possible hangham has an onomatopoeic etymology.

30. Topical's probably unnecessary here.

32. look at me is slightly idiomatic. Also, instead of lu fwa I'd say zivene.

33. You should put a case of out there, it should be dative. Also, the krr and tsaw occupy the same space, I'd say the tsaw can go.

34. I'd just say "lu oeru (ay)sìfmetok" instead of that long relative clause construction you went for.

35. -yä works but -teri- might be a bit better.

rest of the lines: Again, rusey is a participle, it can't be used like this, either go with sute arusey or if you want to keep the relative clause go with sute a rerey or lastly just rusey as a noun. That said, I'm not sure if rusey's specialness as regards also being a noun allows it to be used predicatively as well or not.

38. oeru

[Muzer]

Thanks - I'm a bit busy now, but I'll just reply to a few things. If I didn't reply, assume that's because I agree and I will change it:

I've got a few grammar and vocab points now, I'll number them by line.

2. Might tìflä be better than tìemza'u?

3. As far as we know, txa' just means hard as in the opposite of soft, by all means use it for difficult, just be aware that it might be wrong. Also, em is gone, it's a word derived from just two examples so again, I'd be wary of it, I like how you approached the "overstate" though.

Since we don't have a word for "difficult" AFAIK, it's the only way I could think - I didn't like it either.

5. This depends on how you interpret the line. In mind, GLaDOS is justifying her actions in imprisoning Chell, trying to kill her etc. rather than stating that she's built things, because of this I used a construction based on (fì/tsa/fay/tsay)kem si, but, depending on your interpretation of the line, yours is also valid.

Well as I said, I haven't actually played the game - I just assumed it was referring to the "make a big gun" below. I'll see what it feels to be after playing the game...

6. Might want a nìwotx, otherwise the "all of" gets a bit lost.
7. kerusey is a participle, because of this, it can't be used predicatively as you've done here, it should either be "sute a ke rerey", "sute akerusey" or possibly just ayheruseytu.

8. Mistake isn't the object of the crying, it's part of a relative clause that you've not got a verb for "from reason that is every mistake" so it should be "taluna frakxeyey lu" instead; alternatively you could use -teri- to get "Slä ke lu lesar fwa tsngawvìk teri frakxeyey"

9. I don't think tut can be used like that. Tut is effectively just like the too in "you too?" it implies that the rest of the previous sentence is the same apart from the new words said before it, putting nì- on it doesn't make sense either, what you're looking for is best represented by mi although if you do this you might have to drop the nì'aw unless you want to make it sound as if you have to give up when you run out of cake.

From Taronyu's dictionary 10.007:

continually: [nI"tut^] P F adv. nìtut

11. There's no verb here, you need txula.

12. Again, rusey is a participle, it can't be used like this, either go with sute arusey or if you want to keep the relative clause go with sute a rerey or lastly just rusey as a noun. That said, I'm not sure if rusey's specialness as regards also being a noun allows it to be used predicatively as well or not.

15. si verbs never taken an accusative object, txe'lan should be dative.

16. The past infix is implied by the previous sentence, you can drop it for this one.

17. Not sure what to do with this one, because of the si verbs take no accusative objects, oe must be dative which leaves pieces to be sorted, I'm not sure it's a true dative and I think it's implied by the made me broken as well.

19. nga would be better in the topical case. As a dative it makes it sound as if you're putting on a front pretending to be happy to nga.

20. ngop is create not a generic make, you probably want "lu hapxì tìyeyä alor"

21. tìfmusetok might be better here. Also, you might want an imperfective in tìng as well as the ìy.

22. nekx is probably intransitive, taking a causative form for me burning a piece of paper so I'd leave oe unmarked.

23. nìwotx is an adverb, you want to say "wotx ayuyä a awnga namume"

24. Again, rusey is a participle, it can't be used like this, either go with sute arusey or if you want to keep the relative clause go with sute a rerey or lastly just rusey as a noun. That said, I'm not sure if rusey's specialness as regards also being a noun allows it to be used predicatively as well or not.

26. You've got a but it isn't tied to a noun, you'd need to say "oel fpìl futa".

28. I'd probably have transliterated black mesa as plläk mesa instead but yours is valid.

That makes it two syllables...

29. No we don't have a ha ha equivalent but we do have lol = herangham, it's possible hangham has an onomatopoeic etymology.

30. Topical's probably unnecessary here.

It was me trying to translate "anyway" - I haven't really looked up the topical so I wasn't too sure about it, I just gleaned it meant "as for <noun>", so I thought that would be a substitute for "anyway". I should probably look up the topical...

32. look at me is slightly idiomatic. Also, instead of lu fwa I'd say zivene.

33. You should put a case of out there, it should be dative. Also, the krr and tsaw occupy the same space, I'd say the tsaw can go.

34. I'd just say "lu oeru (ay)sìfmetok" instead of that long relative clause construction you went for.

35. -yä works but -teri- might be a bit better.

rest of the lines: Again, rusey is a participle, it can't be used like this, either go with sute arusey or if you want to keep the relative clause go with sute a rerey or lastly just rusey as a noun. That said, I'm not sure if rusey's specialness as regards also being a noun allows it to be used predicatively as well or not.

38. oeru

Anyway, you got a karma cookie for all of this!

[Muzer]

Just made all the corrections - I went for nominalised "rusey", because, though it's most iffy, it's most similar to what I had before, and I didn't want to have to change the title of the song much


EDIT: Actually, I'm not sure if that's what you meant by "use it as a noun" - can you clarify?

[kewnya txamew'itan]

I don't know how I missed nìtut in the dictionary, I remember looking it up as well. 

Yes plläk does make it two syllables, but it keeps the consonants the same so, to an average joe, it might sound more similar.

Anyway is probably better covered with "tse", which, whilst it literally means well... as a conversation starter, it could probably be used like anyway.

Irayo for the cookie. om yom yom. 

Just made all the corrections - I went for nominalised "rusey", because, though it's most iffy, it's most similar to what I had before, and I didn't want to have to change the title of the song much


EDIT: Actually, I'm not sure if that's what you meant by "use it as a noun" - can you clarify?

You've adverbialised it not nominalised it. Tì- works.

And by use it as a noun, I meant that rusey can be used as a participle for "alive" but is also a noun for "the living".

[Muzer]

Oh, lol! I'm such an idiot ;p

Or skxawng as I should say... I still haven't started just spontaneously using Na'vi, though I don't know whether that's a good thing. or a bad thing!

[Muzer]

I've just read a thread about gerunds, and now I'm pretty certain that mi tìrusey is correct!