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Na'vi Rap (ish)

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Zalorticus:
This is probably pretty bad, but I tryed  :).

Na'vi Pride

Yeah, this story about the Na'vi and all the trouble they've been through.
The way they speak, it makes me wanna be one too.
Their culture, it fascinates me, every bit.
If I could, I'd jump at the chance for it.
About that story, I'll start it now.
Right after this verse, so stop havin' a cow.
The R-D-A, you know they're rich.
They wanted more, so they came to this,
Moon they called, Pan-dor-a
Which happened to be, chock full of
tall blue people, called the Na'vi
which wouldn't listen when they were told to leave.
This started a war, in which many died
but from a marine, who'd just defied
the orders he was given by his boss
just because he couldn't stand the loss
of The People, who saw Kelutral burn
he saw them cry, and he started to yearn
for more than his life could give him now
he turned to Neytiri to show him how.

It's not done yet, but I am getting tired...Constructive critizism is welcomed!

Txur’Itan:
You got rhyme, you need more flow.

Good word choice, but think about the beat more, try to think of a time signature that would lean more on flight, like ikran wing flaps.  The rap song needs to play like an instrument.

Zalorticus:
I was just trying to think of something to follow. Thanks!

Eyamsiyu:
"keeping a beat."  I have issues with this as a drummer, but not what this sentence indicates.  Music never really has to flow, but it needs to be "in the pocket," meaning it is on time, regardless of feel.

If you've been around music long enough, you know that you can make any form of a "tuplet."  For example, I've seen music with 4:3 (four 16th notes over three), 9:2 (9 16th notes over two quarter notes), and the list goes on and on.

Just because something doesn't divide down into quarters, eights, 16th, triplets, or sextuplets, doesn't mean it cannot be modified to fit into a measure.  Heck, if you need to, I can write a rhythm/beat to articulate to, and it will work out: just give me a time signature, and I'll do it.

So, yeah... there it is. Any help, feel free to ask ;)

Txur’Itan:

--- Quote from: Au'ekong on December 26, 2009, 07:24:12 pm ---"keeping a beat."  I have issues with this as a drummer, but not what this sentence indicates.  Music never really has to flow, but it needs to be "in the pocket," meaning it is on time, regardless of feel.

If you've been around music long enough, you know that you can make any form of a "tuplet."  For example, I've seen music with 4:3 (four 16th notes over three), 9:2 (9 16th notes over two quarter notes), and the list goes on and on.

Just because something doesn't divide down into quarters, eights, 16th, triplets, or sextuplets, doesn't mean it cannot be modified to fit into a measure.  Heck, if you need to, I can write a rhythm/beat to articulate to, and it will work out: just give me a time signature, and I'll do it.

So, yeah... there it is. Any help, feel free to ask ;)

--- End quote ---

Understood, significantly variable time signatures is not common in the conventnioal rap I have heard/listened to, so my assertion was just based on an opinion not a rule.

Drummers do many variable time signatures, but I see a ton of DR RHYTHM machines in the hands of casual rap singers, I doubt vaiable rhythmm is easy to do with those "toys", but if you want to actually drum, I definately see how it can work.

The statement of flow comes from word arrangement, if you listen to emnem, which I am betting you have done, you can get a sense of his "FLOW" from his choices in word arrangement, not time signature.

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