Author Topic: A new life  (Read 942 times)

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Offline Lightna

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A new life
« on: February 03, 2010, 08:55:05 am »
I decided to write an Avatar fic for two reasons.

1. 'Cause I can, dangit!

2. To help myself and others learn the Na'vi language.  :)

I hope who reads this will enjoy it. The timeline is about a few years before the Tawtute tsam (when the military and those who weren't chosen to stay were pushed off of Pandora forever.)

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Chapter 1: Arrival

    "Alright men, exopacks on!" The CO barked his order. Brian raised his head drowsily as his hands fumbled over the mask of his exopack. Eventually he fitted the mask over his face then the sirens and lights went off that signalled the shuttle's cargo door opening. The door slowly cracked open, allowing Pandora's deadly mixture of natural gases fill the shuttle craft. Two minutes later, the cargo door was completely open and marines started to haul out supplies, crewmen, and various crates.

    Brian kept to himself as he walked around and took in the sights of Hell's Gate. Off in the distance, he stared at the trees. Trees. Something he never saw in real life besides in simulations for his self-taught survival training. He kept on walking to the research building while watching military personnel run their drills. Brian didn't care for the military conducts on Pandora. He was more interested in the indiginous species know as the Na'vi. He grew up hearing the stories about them from his parents, Bryant and Samantha Core, both of which are dead and passed their fortune mining unobtanium to him. He trained as a Avatar pilot on Earth while in college but had to give the engineers and scientists that would make his Avatar the funding to make it. He even would give those working on his Avatar sizable bonuses for completing it by the time he arrived.

   He reached the research building and waited as the airlocks completed their cycle. While waiting, he planned to drop his stuff off at the quarters he had been assigned and then visit the science lab. After arriving at his room, he dropped his bag and began to unpack a few things. He pulled out several photoframes of him and his parents. Brian shedded a single tear, "If only you could see me now." After making the room feel like home, Brian left his room and went straight to the labs.

   After passing the security checkpoints into the lab, he stared in awe as he watched the scientists and engineers work on Avatars that were inside large tanks. His mind interpretted the tanks as like the "womb" and they must be eagerly waiting to be "born." A female scientist came up to him after noticing he was walking around aimlessly and introduced herself. "I'm Grace Augustine and you must be Brian Core," the scientist presumed. Brian looked over at Grace, "You would be correct." Grace smiled warmly, "I'm in charge of the Avatar project and you'll be happy to know that your Avatar is ready when you are." Brian grinned in response, "Let's get going then!"

Grace led Brian to the neural uplink pods that would allow him to control his Avatar. Brian got into the pod as Grace ran down on how to take control of his Avatar. "It's simple, just lay down and close your eyes and the machine will take care of the rest." Brian nodded as Grace placed the brace down over his torso and legs. "Now, at any time, we can eject you from the pod but only in case of emergencies. It's the fail-safe mechanism of these pods." Brian took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "Got'cha Grace. I'm ready." Grace closed the pod and it started its cycle to link him up with his Avatar. Brian layed back, relaxed, took another deep breath as his life would change. For good or worse, that remained to be foreseen.

-------------------
What do you think besides the fact it's a short first chapter?
« Last Edit: February 11, 2010, 11:06:10 am by Corok »

Offline Ikranä mokri

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Re: A new life
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2010, 12:51:52 pm »
this could be very good i wanna see where you plan on taking it.

1 very very small point im not bashing at all isnt it foreseen? not foreseened





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Offline OmegaQ1

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Re: A new life
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2010, 02:08:54 pm »
well i have to say its not bad, but its almost too close to the real story line. your almost summarizing what happened while changing small bits here and there. im not trying to be mean but i just thought that a fanfic or whatever is supposed to be the authors thing and that you should not hold back and do what you want with it. dont restrict it to the movies plot, make it your own story. just some friendly criticism  ;D
It's my job to keep you alive. I will not succeed. -Colonel Quaritch

Offline Lightna

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Re: A new life
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2010, 04:52:05 pm »
Its not going to follow the movie's plot. Hell, I'm only using parts of the movie to start it off. Also note that the time setting is several years before the movie's events.

Offline OmegaQ1

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Re: A new life
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2010, 07:34:23 pm »
Oh my bad, i forgot about the few years before part.
It's my job to keep you alive. I will not succeed. -Colonel Quaritch

Offline Nume fpi sänume

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Re: A new life
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2010, 02:26:12 am »
Nice intro, it feels familiar, which is fine since it gives me something to relate it to. Good job overall :)

Offline Lightna

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Re: A new life
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2010, 06:51:55 am »
Oh my bad, i forgot about the few years before part.
:P

Nice intro, it feels familiar, which is fine since it gives me something to relate it to. Good job overall :)

Irayo tsmukan Nume. :)

Offline Lightna

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Re: A new life
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2010, 10:54:42 am »
NEW CHAPTER! YAYZ!

Chapter 2: "Rebirth"

  A loud ringing filled Brian's ears after his conscious was transfered. Very faintly he could hear voices and opened his eyes but was blinded by bright lights. After staring for ten seconds, he shutted his eyes tightly while the voices began to become more clear. The ringing subsided slowly in his ears and his ears twitched as a rubber band snapped right near them. "Hearing is normal. What about pupil constriction?" He heard a voice say and opened his eyes. A small flashlight was shined into his eyes and the pupils constricted from the light. "Pupils check out," another voice said as the flashlight was pulled away. His vision cleared and was staring at OR lights and then a doctor with an exomask on blocked his view of the lights. "Can you hear us Brian? Blink if you can hear us," The doctor asked and Brian blinked in reply. The doctor pulled himself back, "Alright Brian, we're going to take this slowly. Try wiggling your fingers and toes." Brian slowly started to wiggle his fingers and toes. They felt stiff like he hadn't moved them in ages. "Alright. Trying moving your arms now," A female doctor told Brian. His arms felt equally stiff as he tried to lift them up and bend them. The doctors gave him time to stretch the muscles in his arms before having him do another "test." The male doctor walked up to him, "If you feel that you can do this, try sitting up." Brian stretched his neck like he had a crick in it then placed his arms behind him and slowly brought himself up into a sitting posistion. He looked around and saw the doctors writing stuff down on clipboards. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and yawned.

   Brian felt his tail move which surprised him as he looked back behind him. He let out a small chuckle that he forgot the Na'vi had tails. Better remember not to step on anyone's tail while I'm out there, Brian thought to himself. He turned himself around while moving his legs around. The doctors noticed that he was moving around and observed but prepared to intervene if he tries to rush the process. Brian rolled his shoulders around and stretched his arms as he tries to get the blood pumping through his body. Slowly he moved himself off the table and stood upright. Although he stumbled a bit. The doctors helped support him as he righted himself. "Don't go too fast now. Try walking around while we wait for your clothes to arrive," the female doctor said. Brian nodded and slowly walked around the room but faintly aware of his tail. Well, I'm going to have to get used to the tail. But other then that, this is amazing! Brian thought to himself.

   The door to the room opened and a marine carrying extra large clothing walked in and placed it on the table then left. The female doctor turned to Brian, "We'll wait outside the room. Get changed and we'll take you to the obstacle course." Brian went over to the table as the doctors left the room and he took the hospital "dress" off and started to dress himself. After dressing himself, he turned and saw a full length mirror and took the time to study himself. He wore brown hiking/survival boots with khaki cargo pants and jacket. He also wore a white tank top with two dogtags identifying him. His Na'vi skin color was light blue with several of the luminescant spots adorning his face and a sort of darker blue tiger stripe pattern. "I hardly even recognize myself..." Brian commented quietly then walked to the door.

   The doctors waited for Brian outside and led him outside. "This is as far as we go. Complete the obstacle course within the allotted time and you'll be certified to leave Hell's Gate as your Avatar," The male doctor told Brian. "Okay," Brian replied and as soon as the doctors went back inside the complex, Brian took off running. Brian vaulted over the logs and ducked under them in a pattern. Once he cleared the logs he jumped for a rope to swing across a pit. "This is a piece of cake!" Brian exclaimed while running across pegs jutting out a pool of water. On the third to last peg, he jumped and cleared the last pegs and rolled but used the momentum to dash to the climbing walls. First one was with a rope while the other one was rock climbing. At the top of the rock wall was a zipline but with not clear indication on what to use still he noticed a belt on a table. "Tricky..." Brian commented as he throwed the belt over the line and zipped down the line. Brian came to a rolling stop and had to dash across the finish line before a gate closed.

   Brian bent over and panted after he finished the run. Sweat beaded his brow and he stood straight up then stared triumphantly to the sky. Brian smiled, "Despite how basic that was, it was quite the challenge." Then a voice came up behind him, "And there are more challenges to come." Brian turned around and saw a female Avatar. "Dr. Grace?" Brian inquired. Grace smiled and nodded, "Who did you expect?" Brian scoffed and retorted, "Not you, that's for sure." Grace slugged him in the arm, "You may want to watch it. Well, onto bussiness. I observed your time on the course and you put the most athletic and agile indiginous to shame! How did you do it!?" Brian rubbed his left arm after it was slugged, "This sort of stuff is nothing new to me. I spent my adolecent years tackling these sort of courses and simulated survival scenarios." Grace raised an eyebrow, "Survival scenarios? Did they also include Pandoran simulations?" Brian nodded. "Huh. Well anyway, since your a survivor, lets get your survival gear," Grace said and led him over to table. There were several bottles, satchels with splints, ointments, salves, and other medical based items. Also there was a survival knife. "The belt you used to zip down the line is the one you'll use to carry your survival gear," Grace said as Brian clipped the gear to the belt after putting it on. "Now follow me. You must be tired." Grace motioned Brian to follow her and led him to a wood building with bunks inside. "Your Avatar shall be staying here. And tomorrow I plan on heading out to my school. You're more than welcome to join." Brian smiled, "I'd be more then happy to join you." Grace smiled in return, "Get plently of sleep then. You'll be learning from the indiginous and brush up on your Na'vi." Brian laid down on the bunk and stared out into the distant horizon. A whole new environment filled with so many species, both known and unknown. Brian smiled softly then closed his eyes and began to dream.

As his Avatar dreamt, Brian's real body woke up. He stared at the pod's camera for the longest time then sighed in discontent at how soon he was pulled out of the Avatar. The pod slowly moved and it opened and Brian pushed the safety brace off him. One of the scientists helped him out of the pod and Brian walked straight out of the lab to his quarters. His door slid open and he went in and practically collapsed onto the bed. "Wow... even though I was lying down... I feel exhausted..." Brian quietly said to himself. He looked over to the night stand and saw a book on it with a note. He grabs the note and opens it up. "Consider this a welcoming gift. Your first English-to-Na'vi dictionary! Also has Na'vi-to-English as well. Hope you'll be with us for a long time! Grace Augustine." Brian smiled, Better remember to thank her. Brian cracked it open and started to read as much as he could before eventually falling asleep with the dictionary over his face.

Offline Atoki Atanyä

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Re: A new life
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2010, 10:03:21 am »
Begin the next chapter with: "This seems interesting" Brian thought to himself. "So interesting I just might read it out loud. Chapter One: The Letter A. Aardvark....."

Hehehe just joking. The story is really good, and I can't wait to see where you take this. When's the next bit coming?
Atoki's Guide to Learning Na'vi: Part One is Here!

 

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