Author Topic: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback  (Read 2076 times)

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Offline Ateyo Te Syaksyuk

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ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« on: January 11, 2012, 12:42:10 pm »
Ateyo's life parallels mine in most respects.
Including the gender issues.
The romance between the Samoan pilot
mimics the love shared by oeyä yawnete sì oe.
She too is two-spirit, yet served as an Army Helicopter pilot
for 20 years, and she lived among the Samoans for a year
and was accepted into their family structure.
My experience with volunteering at the local library
revealed that children are drawn to me and enjoy
the craft making sessions I taught.
Niti Te (Tai) sì oe live in a loose knit rural community
where we have gained popularity with some for our
cook outs and target shooting competitions.
The GiveAway is a long tradition among Native Americans.
It is a tradition, where bonds are made between clans and individuals.
It is usually accompanied by spontaneous drumming and singing,
hooting and hollering, and lasts for hours.
It sometimes conducted like a "roast"
with gifts reflecting someone's accomplishments
or an embarrassing event.
These things I wish to convey with a Na'vi context an share with you, Ma Frapo!
Irayo
ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK

Offline Kamean

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2012, 04:48:59 pm »
Nice :)
Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.


Offline Puvomun

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2012, 02:49:16 am »
Writing like a maniac too! HRH
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Offline Niri Te

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2012, 07:17:05 am »
 Ateyo has everything right EXCEPT that I lived in Samoa for TWO years. She is a quarter Native American, and I am Half.
Niri Te
Tokx alu tawtute, Tirea Le Na'vi

Offline Ateyo Te Syaksyuk

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2012, 01:29:03 am »
RECENT UPDATE TO CHARATER DEVELOPMENT!
In my head I've had a clear vision of what the olo'eyktan of my Zongtseng clan should look like.  Yesterday, I saw a thread posted by Ikxeru on his experience with full body make up.  And in his photos I saw my eyktan!  I asked if he would allow me to use his name for my character.  His response was so enthusiastic and heartfelt that I decided to revize my story to reflect his name as the Olo'Eyktan of Zongsteng Lora. This might cause some confusion, but I felt it must be done!
AND to top it off! I found a numbering problem and fixed it:
Ch 61 starts off with:  The Two Samoans
Ch 62              with:   Ma Ateyo!
Ch 63              with:   "Kelutral in sight"
Ch 64              with:   Sunlight glinted
Ch 65              with:   The two of them
Ch 66              with:   Tai and Ateyo
Ateyo
« Last Edit: April 22, 2012, 11:58:05 am by Ateyo Te Syaksyuk »

Offline Ateyo Te Syaksyuk

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2012, 12:26:24 pm »
KALTXI MA FRAPO!!!!
  I did it again. I messed up the numbering of my chapters and fixed it this morning.
Here's what you might want to know:
CH 150 sets the mood for the Tree of Souls episodeS~ plural
CH 151 begins with Mo'at's vision this will be a springboard for future character development, interweaving
CH 152 is where I have moved Alekxsi's vision (although I wrote it first)I ADDED A PARAGRAPH at the end
CH 153 is Ateyo's vision but it is on the same post as the previous chapter
CH 154 is Tai's vision
CH 155 will be posted today!!! I stayed up til 2AM because the chapter begged to be written.  And after another cup of coffee and some editing it will be available for your enjoyment.

I finally learned to use this nifty bubble feature where I include my translations.  I hope you like it! Tirea Aean has made a heroic effort to correct my Na'vi but I am too inventive and undisciplined and often violated grammatical rules!  I tried to correct them all, and I apologize to Ma Oeyä Karyu if I am a poor reflection on your teaching, but I am learning!!!

IRAYO MA OEYA TSMUKAN SI TSMUKE!!!!
  I can't tell you how gratifying it is to share  (oeyä vur) It is my way of "keeping the feeling alive" and I am pleased to share it with you.

Offline Ateyo Te Syaksyuk

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2012, 11:17:02 pm »
Chapter 185 had to be revised to reflect proper orientation of human/avatars.
The first two paragraphs now reflect that fact more smoothly!

Offline Ateyo Te Syaksyuk

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2013, 07:35:03 pm »
NGAYTXOA!  Sorry that I have not posted this week.  Niri Tawä (Tai) was hospitalized for gall bladder surgery.  We ended up in the ER on New Year's Eve. While we waited we saw all the celebrations around the world.  At the stroke of midnight, one of the ER nurses quitely tooted a horn and then Tai was admitted into the hospital. Being that it was New Year's Eve, the Gastroenterologist was on vacation.   She was sent to a different hospital but their specialist was backed up and crazy busy. After two days of waiting (without being fed) she checked herself out and we returned to the Army Hospital.   By then the Specialists had returned. She had surgery on the 7th and was released the 8th.  We stayed a night in a motel room, just to rest and give her another day to heal.  I actually wrote another couple of chapters, though the stress was not condusive to creativity.  I will look them over and possibly publish them here tonight or tomorrow.  We rushed into town today to buy supplies for the homestead, a much abbreviated list than usual.  Tai heals quickly.  Soon things will be back to normal. (Whew!)

Offline Niri Te

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2013, 08:17:02 pm »
I will try to load the first nine or ten chapters of "Last Flight Out " tonight using my Kindle Fire. My brother isn't finished with my notebook yet..
Tokx alu tawtute, Tirea Le Na'vi

Offline Ateyo Te Syaksyuk

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2013, 03:52:15 pm »

I just realized that I have been writing this serial novel for an entire year!
Irayo ayngari reì'awn huoeru!! Thanks for staying with me!

Offline Vawmataw

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2013, 04:05:52 pm »

I just realized that I have been writing this serial novel for an entire year!
Irayo ayngaru a 'amì'awn oehu!! Thanks for staying with me!


Good :D
« Last Edit: February 12, 2013, 04:01:44 pm by Kameyu a Kepekmì »

Offline Tìtstewan

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2013, 02:54:57 am »
Kaltxì ma Ateyo Te Syaksyuk,
I've read your fan-fiction...ma Eywa, it's so much.. :o
My head burns: [English -> German]... However, it's great!
Karmaìri ngaru nang!

Eywa ngahu!
 - ta Tìtstewan

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Offline Ateyo Te Syaksyuk

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2013, 05:23:40 pm »
Ma Tìtsewan!
  Nìprrte fwa sunu oeyä vur!
Ngaytxoa das kopf shmertz!
ta ATEYO
 :D

Offline Tìtstewan

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2013, 05:27:03 pm »
Kaltxì!
Ngaytxoa das kopf shmertz!
HRH! ;D
Tschuldigung für den Kopfschmerz. ;) ;D

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Offline Ateyo Te Syaksyuk

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #14 on: February 27, 2013, 03:02:38 pm »
I just loaded Chapter 357 of my saga.
Most of it is dialog between kids and their Moms.
It was fun to create those familiar words nìNa'vi!

I have also reintroduced the battle scarred fisherman named Opxan.
Being so named I couldn't resist adding the phrase Opxan Hangham
But there is no Na'vi word that sounds like style.
Opxan hangham style!

Oh well, that 's how my brain works.

I needed a word for net so I created woven capture tool,
tìtxäftua tìspe'e sa'o, and I wanted a word for those who peel, so
Fkxarutyu

Paul Frommer can beat me later, since I have taken liberties with his language.

Offline Ateyo Te Syaksyuk

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Re: ATEYO TE SYAKSYUK~feedback
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2013, 11:57:06 pm »
TO ALL MY READERS:
Palulukan Maktoyu Tsa'leng Aean has taken it upon his shoulders to proofread my story.
I will be making changes and improvements to my Na'vi sentences for the next few weeks.
Do not be dismayed!
I will be writing new chapters as well!
ta oetsyìp
ATEYO :D

 

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