Author Topic: City of Paradise [Comment Area]  (Read 4646 times)

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Offline ToktorGrace

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City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« on: September 10, 2010, 11:51:37 pm »
**EDIT** I'm going to do it the way Im supposed to. Here is a link to the thread for the story itself on here: http://forum.learnnavi.org/fiction-fanfiction/city-of-paradise-(story)/msg317053/#msg317053


Fanfiction tribute for Dr Grace Augustine, my personal favorite character from Avatar. I had a number of plot ideas bouncing around in my head for fanfiction stories for this move and world, and finally settled on this one, which will probably take me a few years to write, as I intend it to be long, as close as possible to canon, and its own little tangent/metaphors/ explanations for why Grace is the way she is, and how the discovery of Pandora affected her and many other Earthlings.

I will also post a link to it here, and will let you all know when I update. Feel free to review here or on FF (I will greatly appreciate any input! Please let me know if I make any big mistakes regarding Grace and the official plot!) I will also let you all know about fun little connections and parallels Im using for this that I noticed about Grace's character and intend to incorporate into this fic. Click on the image "cover" below to go to the Prologue of the fic.


« Last Edit: September 26, 2010, 05:14:28 pm by Truro the Lost »
Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.  - St. Augustine

 



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Offline Duma Vadamee {Aungia Tsawkeyä}

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Re: City of Paradise [Link and Comment Area]
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2010, 07:41:34 am »
the first ch was small, but i know when i think i have a new fave.! ;D

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Offline ToktorGrace

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Re: City of Paradise [Link and Comment Area]
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2010, 12:06:12 pm »
the first ch was small, but i know when i think i have a new fave.! ;D

:3 thanks I'm glad you like!

That's just the prologue - the next chapters should all be much longer!
Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.  - St. Augustine

 



I speak Na'vi with a French accent...

Offline Ean Hufwetulyu

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Re: City of Paradise [Link and Comment Area]
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2010, 11:16:48 pm »
i cant what for chap ;D
Eywa Ngahu Smukan si Smuke.

Offline ToktorGrace

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Re: City of Paradise [Link and Comment Area]
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2010, 12:29:26 am »
**UPDATE*** Does anyone have an interest in being a beta reader for me? My requirements would be someone who knows the movie and other reference materials of Avatar decently well (not like, intensely, just general knowledge) and who has at least taken a first-level college writing course (this means AP or IB courses too).

Hope I'll find someone soon - am working through the next chapter!

Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.  - St. Augustine

 



I speak Na'vi with a French accent...

Offline Duma Vadamee {Aungia Tsawkeyä}

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Re: City of Paradise [Link and Comment Area]
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2010, 07:57:09 am »
want...(pant)...Ch...(pant)...need it...

lol

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Offline ToktorGrace

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2010, 05:19:03 pm »
I decided to post it as per the guidelines of the forum, so the entire story so far is on here (plus a chapter since I last updated!) I'm slowly adding more translation to the Na'vi spoken by Atanaia and Grace, trying to match the level which Grace is learning at. Most of it will only be a word or two translated, or just the "gist" (ie. ketuwong kakrel actually referring to "blind" alien, but its the same idea as "stupid").

School has just started for me - so it is unlikely I'll post again for thanksgiving. Happy reading, and I appreciate any kind of feedback that I can get. Constructive advice is always welcome.


I am still searching for a beta reader who can help me with one or all of the following:

- scientific information (its all fabricated, but someone else with college-level biology instruction could really help make it more realistic)
- Na'vi language - I'm still just starting to learn it, and Im making improvements as I go along. Im sure I have made a number of mistakes.
- grammar/spelling/thematic ideas in the story (hopefully someone with some college-level english course under their belt )


Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.  - St. Augustine

 



I speak Na'vi with a French accent...

Offline Duma Vadamee {Aungia Tsawkeyä}

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2010, 06:58:47 pm »
again good ch.

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Offline Puvomun

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2010, 11:52:31 am »
Wou! I love your story! Well found, well done.
Irayo, ma tsmuke.
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Offline Muzer

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2010, 06:55:06 pm »
Pretty nice so far!

I could probably help out with the Na'vi, if you want.
[21:42:56] <@Muzer> Apple products used to be good, if expensive
[21:42:59] <@Muzer> now they are just expensive

Offline ToktorGrace

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2010, 08:49:01 pm »
Pretty nice so far!

I could probably help out with the Na'vi, if you want.

That would be excellent! I'm a bit of a skxawng when it comes to speaking the language but Ive started to put a little more effort into learning since beginning to write the fic.

Thanks !
Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.  - St. Augustine

 



I speak Na'vi with a French accent...

Offline ToktorGrace

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2010, 07:30:47 pm »
Not a written update, but as I like to draw AND write, I thought I'd post a picture related to this story here... (mods: if this isn't okay I shall delete this post, just let me know )

Here is a picture of the unfortunate Tipani warrior who Dr. Mani and Dr. Lovecraft are examining... :(
Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.  - St. Augustine

 



I speak Na'vi with a French accent...

Offline ToktorGrace

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2010, 04:56:34 pm »
Updated story just now :3

Thank you shout-out to Muzer for helping with the Na'vi (don't blame him for the mistakes though, those are probably  my falt!) And Also to my beta from FF.net, who I think may also have an account here (please let me know if you're around here! lol)

Enjoy .. even if it isnt super happy. Im hoping to both learn some more Na'vi language and update with at least one more chapter before January.
Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.  - St. Augustine

 



I speak Na'vi with a French accent...

Offline Puvomun

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2010, 02:10:49 am »
Sran, it is not a happy chapter, but I know these are necessary. It is a very good one, though. Thank you.
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Offline Duma Vadamee {Aungia Tsawkeyä}

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2010, 11:12:38 am »
yes not happy chapter but good one. when i read the part about the "uneeded" testing, with the cutting of the fibers in the queue....I was extreamly pissed and distressed. i haven't felt that kind of anger towards humanity since i first watched hometree destroyed. It makes me physically ill to think that humanity can be that cruel to a living creature, even for science. makes me rethink the world a lot....

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Offline ToktorGrace

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2010, 12:29:59 pm »
Yeah, perhaps a bit harsh, but I felt it was necessary - I think my other favorite film of 2009 was District 9, which very realistically portrayed how humans would react to an alien encounter of that sort...

but remember there are good people too! :)
Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.  - St. Augustine

 



I speak Na'vi with a French accent...

Offline Duma Vadamee {Aungia Tsawkeyä}

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #16 on: December 13, 2010, 06:59:34 pm »
halo is a good example too you know.

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Offline ToktorGrace

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #17 on: December 13, 2010, 09:00:44 pm »
halo is a good example too you know.

I actually don't play video games so I didn't know that ^^; I'll have to check out the plot online or something.
Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.  - St. Augustine

 



I speak Na'vi with a French accent...

Offline Duma Vadamee {Aungia Tsawkeyä}

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #18 on: December 14, 2010, 09:35:53 am »
a quick rundown is that the covenant (aliens) a a very religious alien race that believe that with the 7 halo rings (main areas except reach where the games take place) activated they will follow there gods, the forerunners, to godhood. unfortunately they mistake an ancient glyph for artifacts when they are actually humans. the currant leaders of the covenant, mercy regret and truth (the third is a manipulative @$$hole) believe that if word gets out that humans could be decedents of the forerunners (they are not but they do play a role with the forerunners) then there beloved covenant will break apart in civil war on the fact that not all of the gods went to godhood. so, in order to cover their @$$es, they brand all humans a heretics and call for the human races extinction. the covenant loses in a twist of events, but you'll need to play the games to find out, cause as a newcomer to the halo universe, we veterans cannot spoil the plot.

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Offline Eyamsiyu

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Re: City of Paradise [Comment Area]
« Reply #19 on: December 24, 2010, 07:33:50 am »
Dang... just read the story so far... I'm following this as it gets written.  It's excellent!


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