Dreamwalker's Dellimma Sporkings comment thread

[SonicWolf9]

Talk about the sporking we did of Dreamwalker's Delimma here!

[ShadowMainZERO]

What the hell is this?

[Niwantaw]

WTF?

although it is kinda funny....

[Muzer]

It should be "could have" or "could've", not "could of" (IIRC that's what you said) - just while we're correcting grammar fails...

[Duma Vadamee {Aungia Tsawkeyä}]

WTF??

not once did i see this kind of thing for any of the fan-fic's that i have read. are you tring to gang up on me or something. (note: the reason why i used the title for the last sentence is that somewhere in my chapters i like to use or refrence them. (you would of notice this and your other dumb questions if you read on))

[SonicWolf9]

WTF??

not once did i see this kind of thing for any of the fan-fic's that i have read. are you tring to gang up on me or something. (note: the reason why i used the title for the last sentence is that somewhere in my chapters i like to use or refrence them. (you would of notice this and your other dumb questions if you read on))

Then you obviously haven't been around. Sporking, or MSTing, hsa been around for a while and has been done to many fanfics. Don't wory. If we find other bad fanfics then we shall spork them too.

If anyone has any suggestins for fanfics or would like to help then just post here or PM me.

[Niwantaw]

you so much as think of sporking mine
*shakes a large toasting fork menacingly*
i will.... well.... you get the idea

[SonicWolf9]

Don't worry. Your's isn't the best of the best but I have seen a LOT worse then even Duma's.

[Muzer]

Don't worry. Your's isn't the best of the best but I have seen a LOT worse then even Duma's.

Hear, hear!

[SonicWolf9]

(note: the reason why i used the title for the last sentence is that somewhere in my chapters i like to use or refrence them. (you would of notice this and your other dumb questions if you read on))

I have no problem with having your chapter title being spoken in the chapter (I DO have problems with your spelling of the word "sucks"). My friend, however, did.

Also, we read through each chapter and type the responces as we think of them. We don't read ahead and we do it on our first time through (except for TI, he read before suggesting we do this) so our reactions are true and not planned out in anyway. It can make things more humorus and makes us come off as your adverage reader.

[SonicWolf9]

Chapter 2 is up in three parts! We exceed the character limit with this one. Sorry for the wait. TI and I have been rather busy.

[Muzer]

You've missed a load of grammar fails in this one, but I wasn't keeping count. There were one or two, though, that weren't grammar fails, that you had marked as being so, so it probably evens out.

[Tsamsiyu92]

Is it only me or is all of this just unneccesary, why don't you write your own story instead of making fun of Duma's story?

This is just unneccesary in my honest opinion.

[Duma Vadamee {Aungia Tsawkeyä}]

honestly, i dont give a c*** about these guys critisizing my work, (the 'piss-take of the story' does get better if you friggen read on. also, marty stu disappears dramaticly as the story progresses...i think.). alot of it is actually funny. this particular part

(SW9: So a community, which probably isn't that big, got together and built a regulation airport by hand? I would have loved to see that.)
(TI: Must... build... airport... out... of... Lego...)

really cracked me up.

[Muzer]

Um... no, this is the piss-take - presumably you know that a piss-take is something/someone that makes fun of something/someone else. I'm not saying that your story is a piss-take (which it isn't); I'm saying that this is a piss-take on your story.

It made me laugh a lot too

[Duma Vadamee {Aungia Tsawkeyä}]

piss take or not (and thanks for telling me the story wasn't i was a bit confused) it still is very funny. first offended, now not. (shruges)

[Muzer]

If you're still slightly confused, more polite words for "piss-take" include "parody" and "spoof" - you've probably heard of at least one of those.

[SonicWolf9]

You've missed a load of grammar fails in this one, but I wasn't keeping count. There were one or two, though, that weren't grammar fails, that you had marked as being so, so it probably evens out.

I have rules to this stuff. If it's being spoken by a character then I tend to ignore it (with the exception of capitalization and punctuation) and I'm not nit-picky. I won't call him on some things that he probably has no idea what they are. Also, something didn't contradict the rules of grammar but I wasn't entirely sure what to mark it as. This took us some time to do so I cut a few corners.

honestly, i dont give a c*** about these guys critisizing my work, (the 'piss-take of the story' does get better if you friggen read on. also, marty stu disappears dramaticly as the story progresses...i think.). alot of it is actually funny. this particular part

(SW9: So a community, which probably isn't that big, got together and built a regulation airport by hand? I would have loved to see that.)
(TI: Must... build... airport... out... of... Lego...)

really cracked me up.

I'm glad you're enjoying it. Although we do think that you should stop writing until you have mastered the basic rules of grammar and have a decent vocabulary. Once again, very rarely do I look ahead, and when I do I never leave that chapter. This way what I say is a genuine reaction and not something scripted.

Also, you should pay attention to what I say if you wish to make the story better. Using your example, the grammar of the sentence suggested that the community itself built the airport and not professionals. TI makes jokes. I normally point out what is wrong with it and why it is wrong. That's why I had him help me. If I just did it then I would never get it done/lose my sanity/it wouldn't be funny/any combination of the three.

On another note, you should invest in Microsoft Office, any version will do but the newer the better. That way it will help with spelling and catch you on some grammar mistakes (especially Word 2010). While I'm at it, commas and other punctuation that comes at the end of a quoted sentence goes in said sentence. So it wouldn't be: "I threw the ball", Johny said. It would be: "I threw the ball," Johny said.

If the quoted sentence ends with an exclamation point (!) or question mark (?) then the comma should be omitted (it shouldn't be there). Ellipses (...) are always three periods. No more, no less. They, too, remove the need for a comma. Since you obviously don't seem to know, proper nouns- such as names, places, businesses, et cetera- are always capitalized. So it's "Mike's Pizza" not "mike's pizza".

One last thing before I end this lesson, when you come upon a quoted sentence then there must be a comma before it that is outside the quotation marks (") or one inside the quotation marks at the end of the sentence (or in the middle if it cuts off). Examples: John confessed, "I threw the ball." "I," John confessed, "am the one who threw the ball." "I threw the ball," John confessed.

I hope you learn from this.

[Tsamsiyu92]

I still find it stupid to flame a story and start a new thread, you could have politely made one such post in the story's comments' thread instead.

[SonicWolf9]

This isn't flaming, it's sporking. This kind of thing is actually very common. There are sporkings of actually published books as well as fanfiction (although the later more so). Have you ever watched Ramasy's Kitchen Nightmare? I'm like Chef Ramasy. I may insult you but in the end I'm trying to help you. Sadly, to take a page out of Ramasy's book, so many authors have their head so far up their ass that they don't listen and just complain.

The point is: I may insult you, I may even curse you out on occasions, but I'm trying to help. That's the goal: to make people who read the story laugh and to get the author to see what he or she did wrong. I mean, if you don't learn to laugh at yourself then your life can be  made miserable (well, at least when compared what it could be).