Na'vi poetry

Karyu Amawey · December 21, 2009, 10:03:00 PM

fya'o atsawke
ka taw
txey ulte plltxe
ayoengne
mi mokri wayna:
atxur,
angay,
atxantslusam,
werintxu ayoengne
ayoeng kelu nì'awtu
ulte fi'u txep...
txep ayoengyä...
ketayerkup

The path of the sun
across the sky
stops and speaks
to us
in a voice like a song:
strong,
true,
much knowing,
showing us
we are not alone
and this fire...
our fire...
will not die.

Nume fpi sänume · December 21, 2009, 11:48:26 PM

Sìltsan, Karyu Amawey

Teraron
teya tìrey,
teraron hu tukru,
lonu ngeyä tirea,
ay-utral plltxe
"takuk"
"yomting Na'vi"
tsamsiyul makto kelkuti,
poanl zamunge wutsoti,
oe tse'a nga na'ring
Irayo

Hunting
full of life,
hunting with spear,
release your spirit,
all the trees speak,
"strike"
"feed The People"
warrior rides home
he brings dinner
I see you forest
Thank you

A short poem of the hunt, and the bond the warrior shares with the forest, with his thanks at the end.
Corrections welcome, I probably messed up on it.

Edit: Corrected by Karyu Amawey.

Karyu Amawey · December 22, 2009, 12:12:38 AM

Quote from: omegaorb on December 21, 2009, 11:48:26 PM
Sìltsan, Karyu Amawey

Teraron
teya tìrey,
teraron hu tukru,
lonu nga tirea,
ay-utral plltxe
"takuk"
"yomting Na'vi"
tsamsiyu makto kelku,
poan zamunge wutso,
oe tse'a nga na'ring
Irayo

Hunting
full of life,
hunting with spear,
release your spirit,
all the trees speak,
"strike"
"feed The People"
warrior rides home
he brings dinner
I see you forest
Thank you

A short poem of the hunt, and the bond the warrior shares with the forest, with his thanks at the end.
Corrections welcome, I probably messed up on it.

Excellent poem, I think it is something that the Na'Vi would be very proud to call their own.

However, there are a few corrections:
lonu nga tirea should read
lonu ngeyä tirea only because ngeyä is the possessive "your''

secondly, ride and bring are both transitive verbs which require the ergative-accusative markers, which can be confusing:
tsamsiyu makto kelku,
poan zamunge wutso,
oe tse'a nga na'ring should be

tsamsiyul makto kelkuti,
poanl zamunge wutsoti,
oe tse'a nga na'ring

Anyways, I thought it was really well written! Great job!

omängum fra'uti · December 22, 2009, 12:52:12 AM

Ikran tswolayon
Slu oengl na 'awpoti
Ftu kllte alìm

Mountain banshee flight
Together we become one
Far above the ground

Note that it is a haiku in both English and Na'vi, at least using the Na'vi concept of a syllable.
Edit: Shoot, I just realized that tsway<ei>on adds two syllables not one, so the first line is incorrectly structured in Na'vi. I hate to give up the emotive properties of the influx but I'm also a perfectionist and the extra syllable will bug me to no end. So I changed it to tsw<ol>ayon to change the mood to be one of joy during a flight.

The more literal translation of the Na'vi would be more like:
Mountain Banshee flight
Become we as one
Far from the ground
Which is of course all wrong as a haiku.

Skxawng · December 22, 2009, 01:34:15 AM

Crap I screwed up the merge ... this'll have to do for now

Nume fpi sänume · December 22, 2009, 01:56:58 AM

Sìltsan Tiger, a great piece that captures the emotion.

Sarkath · December 22, 2009, 02:00:45 AM

Quote from: Tiger on December 22, 2009, 12:52:12 AM
Ikran tswolayon
Slu oengl na 'awpoti
Ftu kllte alìm

Mountain banshee flight
Together we become one
Far above the ground

Note that it is a haiku in both English and Na'vi, at least using the Na'vi concept of a syllable.
Edit: Shoot, I just realized that tsway<ei>on adds two syllables not one, so the first line is incorrectly structured in Na'vi. I hate to give up the emotive properties of the influx but I'm also a perfectionist and the extra syllable will bug me to no end. So I changed it to tsw<ol>ayon to change the mood to be one of joy during a flight.

The more literal translation of the Na'vi would be more like:
Mountain Banshee flight
Become we as one
Far from the ground
Which is of course all wrong as a haiku.

Poetry follows no rules, English or Na'vi

omängum fra'uti · December 22, 2009, 02:13:43 AM

Irayo, ma Omegaorb

Quote from: Sarkath on December 22, 2009, 02:00:45 AM
Poetry follows no rules, English or Na'vi

Oh of course, of course. And with the flexibility of Na'vi I see great poetic opportunity. But Haiku is typically a fairly specific meter.

I'm working on a limerick now.

Not quite enough dirty words in the vocabulary to really do a proper limerick, but I'll make do and make something mean against Tawtute instead.

HawkPidgeon · December 22, 2009, 02:49:38 AM

I might give it a go...

Fìtsenge kea tìkawng lu
sì fìtsenge, kea vrrtepay.
Fìtsenge Eywayä kelku lu,
teya fa atokirina',
sì fì'u lor lu nìtxan.
Fìtsenge, Na'vi kelku si,
aypizayuru terìng mikyun,
ikranri merakto,
ayioang teraron,
rerey.
Fìtsenge kea tìkawng lu, kehe.

Here there is no evil
and here, no demons.
Here is Eywa's home,
full of atokirina',
and this is very beautiful.
Here, Na'vi live,
listening to ancestors,
riding ikran,
hunting beasts,
living.
Here there is no evil, no.

Suggestions are welcome, as always.

Karyu Amawey · December 22, 2009, 05:54:39 PM

Nawm HawkPidgeon! The focus throughout the poem is very good! Nice word order choice

HawkPidgeon · December 22, 2009, 06:31:32 PM

Irayu nìtxan. Any suggestions? Especially grammatical suggestions... I'm not so great at Na'vi grammar yet.

Nume fpi sänume · December 22, 2009, 06:34:48 PM

So far i think there is only a handful on this site that are good with the grammar, so dont worry about that just yet

just keep plugging away at it and checking it against our known resources. practice, practice, practice. its what im doing.

omängum fra'uti · December 22, 2009, 06:35:28 PM

In poetry, we don't call it "bad grammer" and scold it, we call it "artistic license" and celebrate it.

HawkPidgeon · December 22, 2009, 06:41:34 PM

Quote from: umängam fra'uti on December 22, 2009, 06:35:28 PM
In poetry, we don't call it "bad grammer" and scold it, we call it "artistic license" and celebrate it.

Brilliant

Brainiac · December 23, 2009, 05:14:22 PM

part one of my poem

atan tsawkyä ul ke'u nin to atan a txur pxel poeti
slä poel kelu kamänge tirea poeyä fìfya
poel lu atantìrantokx, uniltìrantokx fpomyä
slä poél lu kamänge kawng, atan nì'it a hawng
Oel keltu si nì'awtu, eltu si poeti fifya
slä krrpe oel tse'a kawtutì plltxe poeti, nìnelu na oeti set.
oel tse'a ayfi'u lu kawng, kifkey lu kawng
pehrr 'awpo sìltsan pxel poeti, sevin
kelu 'awpoti frapol keneu sì kemuntxänge tìlok.

The light of the sun is naught when once compared to light as strong as she does tend to be.
Though she doesn't even once considers herself that way,
she's light personified, an avatar of joyous, silent glee.
Though to herself, she's dark, she's less than gray.
I don't think I am the only one, that thinks of her like this.
But when I find that no one ever talks of her, as longing as I do now
I find that things are wrong, that it's the world that is amiss,
when someone great as her, beautiful, and how,
is not the one that all who look at her simply covet, hope to closely love.

Nume fpi sänume · December 24, 2009, 02:11:09 AM

hauntingly beautiful

omängum fra'uti · December 24, 2009, 03:01:41 AM

Not quite poetry, but eywa mokriyä gave something in french into skype chat, then translated it to english. So I translated it to Na'vi.

The grammer probably is wrong in numerous places, because I don't know how to do compound sentences. It would probably come out as a run-on sentence. But here it is. Also when I contructed trr-ri, since the rr followed by r seemed like too much tongue acrobatics to say, I opted for the theoretical ì between the two that we've seen in some places.

Le-'aw-a trr-ì-ri nga-l p<ay>awm oe-ti ftxey tìrey oe-yä fu nga. Oe-l s<ay>i san-ti tìrey oe-yä sì nga-l tx<ay>ìng oe-ti hu-ri ke omum tìrey oe-yä nga lu.
?-one-ADJ day-TOP 2-SBJ ask-FUT 1-OBJ choose life me-POS or you. 1-SUBJ make-FUT quote-OBJ life 1-POS and 2-SUB leave-FUT 1-OBJ with-TOP not know life 1-POS 2 be
One day you'll ask me to chose between my life and you, I'll answer my life and you'll leave me without knowing that my life is you.

Karyu Amawey · December 25, 2009, 12:05:39 AM

Sìltsan! That is incredibly beautiful

omängum fra'uti · December 25, 2009, 04:39:40 AM

And here's a clip of me reading that out loud... Which is probably not so beautiful.

Eywayä mokri · December 25, 2009, 05:08:58 AM

Quote from: umängam fra'uti on December 24, 2009, 03:01:41 AM
Not quite poetry, but eywa mokriyä gave something in french into skype chat, then translated it to english. So I translated it to Na'vi.

The grammer probably is wrong in numerous places, because I don't know how to do compound sentences. It would probably come out as a run-on sentence. But here it is. Also when I contructed trr-ri, since the rr followed by r seemed like too much tongue acrobatics to say, I opted for the theoretical ì between the two that we've seen in some places.

Le-'aw-a trr-ì-ri nga-l p<ay>awm oe-ti ftxey tìrey oe-yä fu nga. Oe-l s<ay>i san-ti tìrey oe-yä sì nga-l tx<ay>ìng oe-ti hu-ri ke omum tìrey oe-yä nga lu.
?-one-ADJ day-TOP 2-SBJ ask-FUT 1-OBJ choose life me-POS or you. 1-SUBJ make-FUT quote-OBJ life 1-POS and 2-SUB leave-FUT 1-OBJ with-TOP not know life 1-POS 2 be
One day you'll ask me to chose between my life and you, I'll answer my life and you'll leave me without knowing that my life is you.

Sìltsan tsmukan!

You are my hero.