Na'vi Protest song, needs music/tune

Started by Rain, February 17, 2010, 07:40:06 PM

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Rain

I can write lyrics, but I can't write music or play any instruments. I'd be happy to collaborate and compromise. What I have so far is a protest song that I wrote in my sociology class during a lecture on protest tunes. I'm willing to work with somebody if they're interested, and if my grammar is wrong, don't hesitate to let me know!

"Neto kä, aytawvrrtep"
Fikem, ayoe rä'ä neu
This action, we do not want it
Kempe aynga sì, ayoe rä'ä neu
What you do, we do not want it
Ayvrrtep lu nerekx skera'a ayoeyä atxkxe
Demons are destroying our land
Ayvrrtep lu nerekx ayoeyä aykelku
Demons are burning our homes
Ayvrrtep lu 'ekero ayoeyä ay'eveng
Demons are attacking our children
Neto kä, neto kä, aytawvrrtep
Go away, go away sky demons
Ayoe rä'ä neu ayngayä tikawng
We do not want your evil
Ayoe rä'ä neu ayngayä keye'ung
We do not want your insanity
Neto kä, neto kä, aytawvrrtep
Go away, go away sky demons
Kä ne'im ne ayngayä kerusey kifkey
Go back to your dead world
Kä ne'im ne ayngayä atxkxe ayskxawng
Go back to your land of morons
Ayoe rä'ä kìn ayngayä tsleng srung
We do not need your false help
Neto kä, aytawvrrtep, ayoe rä'ä neu aynga fitseng
Go away, sky demons, we do not want you here
"If there are self-made purgatories, then we shall all have to live in them."
-Spock, "This Side of Paradise"

"The greatest danger about Pandora is that you may come to love it too much." ~Grace Augustine

Étienne


Rain

Does it? How so? And how should I go about fixing that?
"If there are self-made purgatories, then we shall all have to live in them."
-Spock, "This Side of Paradise"

"The greatest danger about Pandora is that you may come to love it too much." ~Grace Augustine

Étienne

Well I mean it's still a protest but to me the repeated word of demons and "attacking our children" and "land of morons" sounds more like trying to insult the opposing side instead of saying that the Sky people should not poison our land but comes across as Sky demons don't rape our souls. That's just me but I could be wrong.

Rain

Oh! Well okay then, I'll try to think of something other than "demons". "Land of morons" was kind of a joke, though. But I'll keep all that in mind, as I rework the words. Thanks again!
"If there are self-made purgatories, then we shall all have to live in them."
-Spock, "This Side of Paradise"

"The greatest danger about Pandora is that you may come to love it too much." ~Grace Augustine