Poem I am working on... (Translating help needed)

[D. Sky]

Hello everyone! I'm working on a writing piece for one of my classes and I decided to write a piece in Na'vi. However, I'm a complete beginner to Na'vi grammar and decided to come to you fine folks for help. The poem itself isn't so good and would also like your suggestions as well as your translating abilities. Oh yeah! The first three lines are most likely going to be taken out (since they really don't make sense with the rest) so you need not worry about them.

"Ay" is in parentheses for easier identification of its use. The piece is due February 11th.

- - - In English- - -
Under the blue sky
Lies this forbidden land
Our world

Night changes into day
Rain becomes sun
Heart and mind
Meeting together to become one

Our brothers and sisters
Our ancestors
Our hearts
Bound to Eywa
And bound to each other


My friends,
I see all of you.


- - -In Na'vi- - -
_____   ____ eana taw
____ ____ kxanì atxkxe
Ayoeng-eyä kifkey

Txon la<ìy>tem-ìl mì ne trr
Tompa slu-l tsawke
Txe'lan sì ronsem
Ultxa 'awsiteng ne slu'aw

Ayoeng-eyä (ay)tsmukan sì (ay)tsmuke
Ayoeng-eyä (ay)pizayu
Ayoeng-eyä (ay)txe'lan
_____ ___ Eywa
___ _______ __ _____ _______


Oe-yä (ay)lertu,
Oe kame nìwotx nga

[Mako]

Main thing I noticed is in that first sentence, I know that ean taw should be eana taw. Elsewise, I'm totally new at this, so yeah...

[D. Sky]

Well thank you very much
Any help is good help