Poem "Tìmawey Txonä"

[Plumps]

Kaltxì ma eylan

Just thought that would be the right place for my first poem in Na'vi.

I'm far from certain in the language, so every feedback is appreciated (be it grammatical, content-wise etc.)

rutxe, plltxe meuiahu


Tìmawey Txonä

I.
Oeru ketuwong nga lamu
Fìfmawnit atxan Sawtutel peieng
Ayfo fmami 'ivefu ngati fa yola krr
Slä nga tok ayfokip krr nìwotx

II.
Ayfol mamunge sì syamaw ngati nìapxa
Ayfol mamunge ngati fpi tsam
Ayfol sami helkut stum sanhìne
Slä nga ramikx tsatseng ayfone

III.
Nga 'eveng lu tsnì fko txamängìng
Ayoeng zene srung sivi fteke nga tìyerkup
Fte ngal rayutxe awngeyä ayronsemit
Ulte fpomit zamayunge awngeyä kifkeyur

IV.
Ngeyä lora mokril rikx ftu frautral
Nga syusaw hufwe lu: 'ivong kifkey!
Nga txìngtu lu tsnì za'u ne'ìm
Seiyi helkut ta tìska'a tsamä

V.
Nga tìrol lu a fko ke ramängol yola krr
Fmawn tìreyä angay a fko txamängìng
Set ayoengìl kameie ngamì
Ulte tse'a ngeyä tìlorit tìyawnitsì

VI.
Za'u oene; lu oehu; txon zera'u
Ulte kxawm trr 'ayong nìmun
Ngeyä tirea oehu layu – oel stawm ikranit
Tsnì rerol mì sìmawey txonä

Spoiler

Silence (calmness) of the Night

I. To me you were a foreigner (alien)
The sky people like to tell this great story (news)
They tried to feel you all the time (all time long)
But you are (exist) among them the whole time

II. They took and called you highly
They took you for (the sake of) war
They built (made) dwellings almost to the stars
But you moved (down) there to them

III. You are a child that one abandoned(pej.)
We must help so that you won't die
So that you will please our minds
And will give our world peace (well-being)

IV. Your beautiful voice moves from every tree
You are the calling wind: let the world blossom!
You are the abandoned one who comes back
Build(laud.) dwellings from the destruction of war

V. You are the song that nobody sang(pej.) a long time
The story (news) of true life that one abandoned(pej.)
Now we see(pej.) into you
And see your beauty and love

VI. Come to me; be with me; the night is coming
And maybe the day will blossom again
Your spirit will be with me – I hear the Ikran
That is singing in the silence (calmness) of the night

Irayo for your attention


EDIT: translation (spoiler)

[Nume fpi sänume]

I understood some of it, and while it doesn't seem fully correct, I also don't know enough about the grammar and construction to tell you whats out of place. I would like a translation included, at least in a spoiler block so I can read it and see how accurate my Na'vi is getting.

[Plumps]

Tslolam

I added the spoiler

Irayo

[Nume fpi sänume]

Well, my Na'vi is getting better bit by bit. Its much nicer now that i have the translation before i only had a vague idea of what it said.

[Nìwotxkrr Tìyawn]

It was a really nice poem I think. With poems you don't really need to worry about grammar.