Another poem I did.

['Awpo]

Being walkers with the dawn and morning,
Walkers with the sun and morning,
We are not afraid of night,
Nor days of gloom,
Nor darkness-
Being walkers with the sun and morning.


Tiranyuri leru hu trr'ong sì rewon,
Tiranyu hu tsawke sì rewon,
Awnga ke txopu keseii kxamlä txontiti,
Ke srr kxamlä txon'ongmaw,
Fuke tìvawm-
Tiranyuri leru hu tsawke sì rewon.

Please tell me what I did wrong

[omängum fra'uti]

Why did you choose to use the topic on the first line and not the second?  (I'd actually not use it on either.)

Awnga could also be ayoe, depending on whether this is said to other walkers or not.  The poem doesn't make it clear.

With si based verbs, when you negate it, it's just "ke" before the si part (not as a prefix) so "txopu ke si".  If you want to make it laudative it would be "seiyi" - you can't have the double-i like that.  (Though my understanding of the poem, I'm not sure seiyi conveys the right mood.)  I believe the source of the fear should either be in the topic, the patient of a causative seyki, or possibly using the adposition "ta".  I'm not entirely sure which would be correct.

The next two lines would depend on how the source of fear is specified, and I believe should match the same noun case/adposition used.  Before a noun, you'd use "kea" not "ke" (Not sure if you'd need to negate the source of fear or not actually, and the next two lines are just additional sources of fear; however negated or not, all should be negated, or all not).  "Fuke" is, as far as we know, only used in "Ftxey XXX fuke".

All that said, translating poetry is extremely difficult.  Possibly more difficult than translating songs, as song lyrics tend to be a little more straightforward than poetic verse.  I don't think I could offer a translation of that poem that I was 100% happy with and confident was correct.

[Meynari Ke'nawm]

Wow. Cool poem. That could be, like, a chant for friends in battle. You are pretty talented.