Grammar check appreciated here :)

[~Ayngahu]

I've thought about making my next (aka new and improved) video for youtube, speaking Na'vi and offering others to send me Na'vi texts for me to pronunciate.

If I know my Na'vi, I know that I always tend to get grammatic errors in huge amounts, so I'd like to bring it here before I record it

Kaltxì ma 'eylan ulte zola'u nìprrte' fìtsenge.
Hello, friend, and welcome here.

Oeyä fì'upxaret amunve ngaru lu a lì'fyati leNa'vi nerume.
This, my second message, is to you, whom is learning the Na'vi language.

Nì'awve oe ätxäle si ngaru tsnì txoa sivi nga oer txo keyey soli oe fì'upxareri.
First, I ask of you to forgive me if I made mistakes in this message.

Oel spaw futa oeyä tìplltxe leNa'vi lu eyawr fu tsun tivam. Sìlpey oe nìteng tsnì tsun fì'u ngaru srung sivi tìftiari ngeyä. Fì'ut oel new fì'upxarefa.
I believe that my Na'vi Speak is correct or will atleast suffice. I also hope that this can help you with your study. This is what I want by this message.

Rutxe oeru fpe' ngeyä hamrel leNa'vi a new nga tsa'uti oel piveng nìNa'vi. New nìtxan oe tsakem siveiyi ngaru. Txo stawn ngal keyeyti oeri ha txopu rä'ä si ulte fpe' oeru 'upxare a lu eyawr fa mokri fu pamrelfa.
Please send me your Na'vi writings that you'd like me to say in Na'vi. I'd really like to do this for you. If you hear me making mistakes, don't be affraid and send me a message that is correct (either) by voice or by writing.

Nì'i'a new oel futa fìpamrel alor ngaru tìvìng:
Finally, I want to give you this beautiful writing:

Tìng mikyun tawä ayswiräru..
Tìng nari aysyulangur kifkeyä..
Hufweti 'ampi fa ayzekwä ngeyä..
Frakrr nìtram lu ngeyä tìreyri.
Listen to the creatures of the sky..
Look at the flowers of the world..
Feel the wind with your fingers..
Be happy for your life always.

Eywa ngahu ma 'eylan ulte kìyevame.

As always, thanks for your time
A mistake is a mistake (even though I could excuse myself as not having studied Na'vi for months now... teehee).

Eywa ayngahu nìwotx!

[Teyl Maktoyu Ayfìwopxä]

Oh hai, I've been trying to study Na'vi for month, but even you are better then me :p

Looks much better then my phrases...
And as far as I know much of that is correct ^^

[~Ayngahu]

Oh hai, I've been trying to study Na'vi for month, but even you are better then me :p

Looks much better then my phrases...
And as far as I know much of that is correct ^^

Hehe I failed to mention that I DID study quite intensely for 4 months; janurary to may, approximately, getting the basics down as well I could.

Since then the enthusiasm just wasen't that beckoning, but I had enough backage to construct basic sentances and stuff in small moments every day to stay sharp mostly on pronunciation.

[Hawnuyu atxen]

Kaltxì!

Oeyä fì'upxaret amunve ngaru lu a lì'fyati leNa'vi nerume.
This, my second message, is to you, whom is learning the Na'vi language.

I'd say that here it should be: "(...) amunve lu ayngaru a (...)", since i have the feeling that you're sending this to everyone who learn na'vi. Also, in the very beginning too, i'd say it should be "Kaltxì, ma eylan (...)"

Nì'awve oe ätxäle si ngaru tsnì txoa sivi nga oer txo keyey soli oe fì'upxareri.

Here you could drop the second "nga", and instead of the topic-marker, you could use "mì oeyä 'upxare", or "oeyä keyeyìri tsap'alute si oe".

Oel spaw futa oeyä tìplltxe leNa'vi lu eyawr fu tsun tivam. Sìlpey oe nìteng tsnì tsun fì'u ngaru srung sivi tìftiari ngeyä. Fì'ut oel new fì'upxarefa.

The "tìplltxe" should be "tìpuslltxe", and the "oe" after "sìlpey" should be in the ergative (oel).
In the part "srung sivi tìftiari ngeyä", i'd use "mì ngeyä tìftia" instead of the topic-marker.

Rutxe oeru fpe' ngeyä hamrel leNa'vi a new nga tsa'uti oel piveng nìNa'vi. New nìtxan oe tsakem siveiyi ngaru. Txo stawn ngal keyeyti oeri ha txopu rä'ä si ulte fpe' oeru 'upxare a lu eyawr fa mokri fu pamrelfa.

The lenited form of "pamrel" should be "famrel".
I'd say the part "a new nga tsa'uti oel piveng nìNa'vi" should rather be something like "a new ngal futa oe pivlltxe".
Last sentence's beginning:
"Txo stawm ngal futa oe keyeyur si"...

Nì'i'a new oel futa fìpamrel alor ngaru tìvìng:

I can be wrong (transitivity and modals are my weak point...), but i think here the "fìpamrel" should be in the accusative too.

Frakrr nìtram lu ngeyä tìreyri.

In "nitram" the "i" doens't have the accent

These are pretty good, if you ask me

[Payä Tìrol]

Posting while I'm reading this:
I'll edit in anything else if I see something Hawnuyu may have missed...

Oeyä fì'upxaret amunve lu ngafpi a lì'fyati leNa'vi nerume.
This, my second message, is for you, who is learning the Na'vi language.

Nì'awve oe ätxäle si ngaru tsnì txoa sivi nga oer txo keyey soli oe fì'upxaremì.
First, I ask of you to forgive me if I made mistakes in this message.

"oe" after "sìlpey" should be in the ergative (oel).

No, I believe oe is correct, sìlpey is intransitive.

Rutxe oeru fpe' ngeyä famrelit leNa'vi a new nga tsa'uti oel piveng nìNa'vi.

I think famrel still needs to be accusative, since you're using fpe' transitively, but the ngal is omitted.

Yeah, sorry about all the ninja edits

[Hawnuyu atxen]

Posting while I'm reading this:

Oeyä fì'upxaret amunve lu ngafpi a lì'fyati leNa'vi nerume.
This, my second message, is for you, who is learning the Na'vi language.

It can be ngafpi, but ngaru is enough i think... depends on what ~Ayngahu wanted to say.

[Payä Tìrol]

Yeah, I'm personally not sure how correct saying "is to you" is.

[Hawnuyu atxen]

Well... "Ngaru lu fpom srak?"

[Payä Tìrol]

Good point
Still feels slightly different to me. I guess it does depend on how ~ayngahu intended it.

[Lance R. Casey]

(Oh boy, ninja city. Posting unedited anyway; beware of repetition.)

Oeyä fì'upxaret amunve ngaru lu a lì'fyati leNa'vi nerume.
This, my second message, is to you, whom is learning the Na'vi language.

Amuve, and you need to have the a next to whatever it applies to (ngaru here).

Nì'awve oe ätxäle si ngaru tsnì txoa sivi nga oer txo keyey soli oe fì'upxareri.
First, I ask of you to forgive me if I made mistakes in this message.

The established way of saying "forgive me" is (oeru) txoa livu, but if you want to make it more active, perhaps tìng could be used. And as I'm sure you're aware, *kxeyey si is not canon, but it is likely to be understood anyway; a safer route would be to just speak of there maybe being errors (with subjunctive). As for the topic, I think it's fine, although mì would work just as well.

Oel spaw futa oeyä tìplltxe leNa'vi lu eyawr fu tsun tivam. Sìlpey oe nìteng tsnì tsun fì'u ngaru srung sivi tìftiari ngeyä. Fì'ut oel new fì'upxarefa.
I believe that my Na'vi Speak is correct or will atleast suffice. I also hope that this can help you with your study. This is what I want by this message.

For "pronunciation", there's lì'upam from the recent listening comprehension at Na'viteri. I'd also (PNI) go for kop rather than nìteng; the former leans towards "in addition" and the latter towards "likewise". Sìlpey triggers the subjunctive, so tsivun.

Rutxe oeru fpe' ngeyä hamrel leNa'vi a new nga tsa'uti oel piveng nìNa'vi. New nìtxan oe tsakem siveiyi ngaru. Txo stawn ngal keyeyti oeri ha txopu rä'ä si ulte fpe' oeru 'upxare a lu eyawr fa mokri fu pamrelfa.
Please send me your Na'vi writings that you'd like me to say in Na'vi. I'd really like to do this for you. If you hear me making mistakes, don't be affraid and send me a message that is correct (either) by voice or by writing.

**Hamrel should be famrelit, but I don't think the rest is off the charts at all; just pluralize tsa'uti (and I'd use plltxe rather than peng). "Hear" is stawm, and I think the topic is unneccesary here; I'd probably just say keyeyot. For the last part, did you intend to make it read like "don't be afraid to send me ..."? The translation doesn't really suggest so, and neither is the Na'vi line constructed in such a way. The only other correction is a missing accusative marker on 'upxare.

Nì'i'a new oel futa fìpamrel alor ngaru tìvìng:
Finally, I want to give you this beautiful writing:

Nì'i'a is "finally" in the sense of "at long last"; the neutral "lastly" is nìsyen. Missing accusative on fìpamrel, and the subjunctive infix has a typo.

Frakrr nìtram lu ngeyä tìreyri.
Be happy for your life always.

For internal states, 'efu is used, and it's nitram.

[~Ayngahu]

Many interesting replies, thankyou

I've commented each of your corrections below, hope you can make out anything!

-------------

Kaltxì ma 'eylan ulte zola'u nìprrte' fìtsenge.
Hello, friend, and welcome here.

Ma Hawnuyu atxen - Adressing a singular nga was my way of making it abit personal and, perhaps, abit stranger than usual.

Oeyä fì'upxaret amunve ngaru lu a lì'fyati leNa'vi nerume.
This, my second message, is to you, whom is learning the Na'vi language.

Ma Payä Tìrol - This might have changed in the months I wasen't looking, but I was taught that the Dative marker means both 'to' and 'for' (Oel yerikit ngaru taron - I hunt the hexapede for you).
However, I do like the fpi adposition more for this particular sentence

Ma Lance R. Casey - Muve, thanks However, I was talking about my second 'message', not some second 'you' (..'upxare amuve ngaru.. vs ..'upxare muvea ngaru..)

Nì'awve oe ätxäle si ngaru tsnì txoa sivi nga oer txo keyey soli oe fì'upxareri.
First, I ask of you to forgive me if I made mistakes in this message.

Ma Hawnuyu atxen - Ooh, right! Reminds me that I still need to figure out when elements are redundant and when they are not And using mì is propably also a good idea. Personally, though, I'd say mì upxare oeyä, should be correct too, right?

Ma Payä Tìrol - ...txo keyey soli oe fì'upxaremì also great I'm just a tad unclear on what you can switch for Dative -ru for verbs such as si (topic, adpositions etc.)

Ma Lance R. Casey - Yea, I agree that I 'experiment' somewhat, trying out some things that seem plausible (and potentially incorrect). I think one of the tougher elements to learning another languages is learning how restricted and/or free the syntax is compared to the language you use to learn it with (this instance; english). I'd just like to say "Forgive me" as a verb, but this might be downright incorrect (non-canon)?

Oel spaw futa oeyä tìplltxe leNa'vi lu eyawr fu tsun tivam. Sìlpey oe nìteng tsnì tsun fì'u ngaru srung sivi tìftiari ngeyä. Fì'ut oel new fì'upxarefa.
I believe that my Na'vi Speak is correct or will atleast suffice. I also hope that this can help you with your study. This is what I want by this message.

Ma Hawnuyu atxen - tìpuslltxe... man, that word tastes wierd in my mouth (but I haven't studies those infixes too much, so it's just a minor case of unfamiliarity). mì tìftia ngeyä (my preference yet again) looks good Do you also avoid Topic whenever you can?

Ma Payä Tìrol - I learned that silpey was intransitive, aswell, and that you conjunct it with tsnì.

Ma Lance R. Casey - lì'upam, thanks And kop thanks aswell. I haven't come too much across this word yet, so just an issue of infamiliarity And tsivun, thanks yet again.

Rutxe oeru fpe' ngeyä hamrel leNa'vi a new nga tsa'uti oel piveng nìNa'vi. New nìtxan oe tsakem siveiyi ngaru. Txo stawn ngal keyeyti oeri ha txopu rä'ä si ulte fpe' oeru 'upxare a lu eyawr fa mokri fu pamrelfa.
Please send me your Na'vi writings that you'd like me to say in Na'vi. I'd really like to do this for you. If you hear me making mistakes, don't be affraid and send me a message that is correct (either) by voice or by writing.

Ma Hawnuyu atxen - P becomes F, P becomes F, P becomes F........ I always make that mistake, pxasìk! Thanks.
I was abit afraid of having 2 a conjunctives, because I couldn't figure out of if the sentence would "point in the right direction", so to speak. I can see it now, thankyou ^^
However; "Txo stawm ngal futa oe keyeyUR (dative?) si"...

Ma Payä Tìrol - Yea, the lenition is kawng to me. But about marking ERG without the ACC in the same clause and vice versa, I still don't get that entirely

Ma Lance R. Casey - Lenition yet again, yes! Actually, I started out having tsayuti, but I failed to see that those were the 'writings', which were plural, so I kinda changed it. Thanks for spotting that.
"...things you'd like me to say in Na'vi" or "... things that you'd like me to speak in Na'vi". What makes you want to use the latter?
StawM, yes, just a typo ^^'
keyeyot, forgot that o applied some/any element, thanks.
What would you suggest for a sentence that says "Don't be afraid to fill in the blank here" in na'vi? (It's a trouble with conjunctives, I see that now). And for marking ACC I have that returning incomplete understanding of marking either without the other.

Nì'i'a new oel futa fìpamrel alor ngaru tìvìng:

Ma Hawnuyu atxen - I was taught that as a part of redundancy, you leave out the oe-l in the second clause ofc., but then we have yet another ERG missing ACC vice versa to me.

Ma Lance R. Casey - nìsyen, thankyou.
I'm beginnig to believe that you must always mark with ERG or ACC (whichever is missing) even if the counterpart is not in the clause for reasons of redundancy... but I just feel like I was taught something different. There are no exceptions whatsoever what I might be confusing this with?
Typo noted, thanks.

Frakrr nìtram lu ngeyä tìreyri.
Be happy for your life always.

Ma Lance R. Casey - So, it's "Frakrr nitram 'efu ngeyä tìreyri", right?

--------------------

Thanks a bunch! ^^

[Lance R. Casey]

Ma Lance R. Casey - Muve, thanks However, I was talking about my second 'message', not some second 'you' (..'upxare amuve ngaru.. vs ..'upxare muvea ngaru..)

Certainly, but I was referring to the stand-alone a: lu ngaru a ... is for you who ...

"...things you'd like me to say in Na'vi" or "... things that you'd like me to speak in Na'vi". What makes you want to use the latter?
[...]
What would you suggest for a sentence that says "Don't be afraid to fill in the blank here" in na'vi? (It's a trouble with conjunctives, I see that now). And for marking ACC I have that returning incomplete understanding of marking either without the other.

Peng is "tell", which to me refers more to the conveying of information rather than the actual act of speaking.

Regarding the "don't be afraid to X" sentence, this seems like a perfect use for the topic: txopu rä'ä si furia X, or even X a fìkemìri txopu rä'ä si, with subjunctive in the X clause. Or just turn it into an optative command with rutxe.

I'm beginnig to believe that you must always mark with ERG or ACC (whichever is missing) even if the counterpart is not in the clause for reasons of redundancy...

Precisely!

Ma Lance R. Casey - So, it's "Frakrr nitram 'efu ngeyä tìreyri", right?

Right.

[~Ayngahu]

Quote from: ~Ayngahu on Today at 03:47:34 pm
Ma Lance R. Casey - Muve, thanks Smiley However, I was talking about my second 'message', not some second 'you' (..'upxare amuve ngaru.. vs ..'upxare muvea ngaru..)

Certainly, but I was referring to the stand-alone a: lu ngaru a ... is for you who ...

I'll keep that in mind, thanks

Quote from: ~Ayngahu on Today at 03:47:34 pm
"...things you'd like me to say in Na'vi" or "... things that you'd like me to speak in Na'vi". What makes you want to use the latter? Smiley
[...]
What would you suggest for a sentence that says "Don't be afraid to fill in the blank here" in na'vi? (It's a trouble with conjunctives, I see that now). And for marking ACC I have that returning incomplete understanding of marking either without the other.

Peng is "tell", which to me refers more to the conveying of information rather than the actual act of speaking.

Regarding the "don't be afraid to X" sentence, this seems like a perfect use for the topic: txopu rä'ä si furia X, or even X a fìkemìri txopu rä'ä si, with subjunctive in the X clause. Or just turn it into an optative command with rutxe. Smiley

Peng is Tell pak! Hehe, sorry about that You're right. So, plltxe means both speaking/saying srak?

-----
Edit: Oe Unilterantokx slolu nang! (Surpassed 100 posts)

[~Ayngahu]

Take 2 (after corrections with your help):

Kaltxì ma ayeylan ulte zola'u nìprrte' fìtsenge.

Oeyä fì'upxaret amuve lu ayngafpi a lì'fyati leNa'vi nerume.

Nì'awve oe ätxäle si ayngaru tsnì oeru txoa livu txo keyey lu fì'upxareru. Tìyawrfpi oeru srung atxan lolu ta sute asìltsan NumeNa'vimì.

Oel spaw futa oeyä lì'upam leNa'vi lu eyawr fu tsun tivam. Sìlpey oe kop tsnì tsivun fì'u ayngaru srung sivi ayngeyä tìftiamì. Fì'ut oel new fì'upxarefa.

Rutxe oeru fpe' ayngeyä famrelit leNa'vi a new aynga tsayut oel pivlltxe nìNa'vi. New nìtxan oe tsakem siveiyi ayngaru. Txo stawm ayngal keyeyot ha fpe' oeru 'upxaret a lu eyawr fa mokri fu pamrelfa.

Nìsyen new oe fìpamrelit alor ayngaru tivìng:

Tìng mikyun tawä ayayoru..
Tìng nari aysyulangur kifkeyä..
Hufweti 'ampi fa ayzekwä ayngeyä..
Frakrr nitram 'efu ayngeyä tìreyri.


Eywa ayngahu ma eylan ulte kìyevame.

ayswirä changed to ay+yayo (ayayo) for birds.

[Lance R. Casey]

Oeyä fì'upxaret amuve lu ayngafpi a lì'fyati leNa'vi nerume.

Missed this the first time around: fì'upxare should be absolutive, not accusative, since it is the subject of lu.

Nì'awve oe ätxäle si ayngaru tsnì oeru txoa livu txo keyey lu fì'upxareru. Tìyawrfpi oeru srung atxan lolu ta sute asìltsan NumeNa'vimì.

I'd put the subjunctive in lu, and with the use of the dative this translates to "if this message has errors"; perhaps that was your intention, but mì would work just as well. There's also that note of Frommer's that in dative-possessive constructions, lu usually comes first.

The second sentence took a while to parse, so it might not be too clear. Also remember that in order to use prepositional (or, rather, adpositional) phrases attributively, a is needed: vrrtep a mì sokx atsleng a demon in a false body

Rutxe oeru fpe' ayngeyä famrelit leNa'vi a new aynga tsayut oel pivlltxe nìNa'vi. New nìtxan oe tsakem siveiyi ayngaru. Txo stawm ayngal keyeyot ha fpe' oeru 'upxaret a lu eyawr fa mokri fu pamrelfa.

The plural of tsa'u, as a pronoun, is (ay)sa'u (source).

Tìng mikyun tawä ayayoru..
[...]
ayswirä changed to ay+yayo (ayayo) for birds.

That should be ayyayo (source).

[~Ayngahu]

EDIT: I chose to withdraw my video from youtube, because I felt it was rushed. I think I'll feel much better about a video if I focused on studying and actually learning the language, rather than putting together stuff and just reading it

[Hawnuyu atxen]

Isn't the "s" in "aysyulangur" should be like the "s" in "ätxäle si/sky"? I heard it more like in "sure".
Other than that... i'm noone to be trusted if it's up to pronounciation, but i think it's pretty good.