Quiet Night

[Eltu Lefngap Makto]

Let me first say big ups to Plumps and Maksìl; this is in no way meant to denigrate their wonderful work in any way.  That being said, I wanted to try my hand at Na'vi poetry and see if I could stick closer to the original German text.

It is hard to find words and juggle accents.  Here's my first (heinous) go at verse one:

fn<aw>u-a txon, swok-a txon hahaw wotx, kame 'aw swoka mefor smon nì'aw 'evan l<ei>u tswintsyìpur v<iv>ar h<iv>ahaw, ma fpom v<iv>ar h<iv>ahaw, sran.

being-quiet night, sacred night sleeps the whole, the One sees, the sacred Two only are familiar, the boy has a cute queue, please continue to sleep, O peace! please continue to sleep! yes!

That took me [a long time.  As you can tell, I'm really hoping the rules are looser for poetry!  And I totally cheated on the last line.

• Is being quiet fn<aw>u or fn<us>u?  It's a passive-esque verb already!

[Kì’onga Vul]

Tì'efumì oeyä, a quiet night is the same as a being-quiet night (which I don't know how you would say).  I would stick with simple old fnua txon, just holding out the "u" over two notes to fit the song's melody.

Also, 'aw is an adjective.  Perhaps you might use the pronoun 'awpo, one individual?

In line four, you have the right idea, but when talking about ownership, the dative goes on the owner, not the thing possessed.  So it would be 'evanur leiu tswintsyìp.  I think I like this line the best, the Na'vi flavor and the <ei> infix.

"Ma fpom" is interesting.  I think the "cheating," or the repetition, in the last lines actually has a nice lullaby quality.

I'm curious, though, about the underlines.  They don't match up with the stress of the words, so are you trying to show the stress in the melody?  Also, you don't need to put the brackets and hyphens.  (Plus, I think they're ugly )

But overall, you seem to have a very good sense of the grammar, even trying to push yourself a bit too hard with "being-quiet."  I'm impressed with how the stress of the words matches the musical stress a lot of the time.  I'm always amazed when people achieve this element in song translation.  Irayo ulte seykxel sì nìtram!

[omängum fra'uti]

Tì'efumì oeyä, a quiet night is the same as a being-quiet night (which I don't know how you would say).  I would stick with simple old fnua txon, just holding out the "u" over two notes to fit the song's melody.

Except that "fnu" is a verb, not an adjective, so you can't just slap an -a on it like that.

That said, if you do want the participle (adjective) form it would be fnusu, not *fnawu, but I'm guessing you just got a little mixed up typing that out.

[Eltu Lefngap Makto]

Thank you, both! But isn't fnu a passive verb already?  Is it "to be quiet" + <awn> = being quiet or <us>?  I guess the formal way to ask is "Do stative verbs take the active or passive participle infix?"

[Eltu Lefngap Makto]

Updated verse 1:

fnusua txon, swoka txon
hahaw wotx, 'awpo pey
swoka mefor smon nì'aw
'evenganur leiu tswintsyìp
vivar hivahaw, ma fpom
vivar hivahaw, sran.

The craziness continues with verse 2:

fnusua txon, swoka txon 'itan Peyä, heiyangham: fayfya tanyä ftu swoka key! zawnonga krr awngar sngìlmä'i Tewti Yeysu 'ongokx Tewti Yeysu 'ongokx

Being-Quiet night!  Sacred night! son of Him, sweetly laughs: streams of light from the holy mouth! The being-saved time for us has just begun Wow, Jesus is born Wow, Jesus is born!

[omängum fra'uti]

Thank you, both! But isn't fnu a passive verb already?  Is it "to be quiet" + <awn> = being quiet or <us>?  I guess the formal way to ask is "Do stative verbs take the active or passive participle infix?"

The passive in passive participle just refers to the object of a verbs action.  If there is no action, there is no object.

[Talis]

Let me first say big ups to Plumps and Maksìl; this is in no way meant to denigrate their wonderful work in any way.

No problem dude

but this belongs (also) to "fan music - pamtseo nìna'vi nì'aw".

[Eltu Lefngap Makto]

All six verses approved by the Grammar Police.  Then I go public!

[Kì’onga Vul]

Tì'efumì oeyä, a quiet night is the same as a being-quiet night (which I don't know how you would say).  I would stick with simple old fnua txon, just holding out the "u" over two notes to fit the song's melody.

Except that "fnu" is a verb, not an adjective, so you can't just slap an -a on it like that.

That said, if you do want the participle (adjective) form it would be fnusu, not *fnawu, but I'm guessing you just got a little mixed up typing that out.

Ohhh...  For some reason I thought "fnu" was an adjective meaning quiet.  I really need to check these things.  I think maybe I got it confused a little with 'ango.

So yes, listen to omängum fra'uti, taluna pol omeium fra'uti.  There can't be anything like a "quieted night," because "quiet" doesn't have the transitivity it might in English, i.e. quieting something.

['Oma Tirea]

Tì'efumì oeyä, a quiet night is the same as a being-quiet night (which I don't know how you would say).  I would stick with simple old fnua txon, just holding out the "u" over two notes to fit the song's melody.

Except that "fnu" is a verb, not an adjective, so you can't just slap an -a on it like that.

That said, if you do want the participle (adjective) form it would be fnusu, not *fnawu, but I'm guessing you just got a little mixed up typing that out.

Ohhh...  For some reason I thought "fnu" was an adjective meaning quiet.  I really need to check these things.  I think maybe I got it confused a little with 'ango.

So yes, listen to omängum fra'uti, taluna pol omeium fra'uti.  There can't be anything like a "quieted night," because "quiet" doesn't have the transitivity it might in English, i.e. quieting something.

Aynga.... there is lefnu!

[Plumps]

Aynga.... there is lefnu!

Not offical though, is it? Couldn't find an example

[Eltu Lefngap Makto]

It may not be official, but it's very popular with "lay people":
http://www.google.com/search?q=lefnu

[Kemaweyan]

Aynga.... there is lefnu!

Tì'efumì oeyä, here fnusu would be better Though I know that we already have letsranten instead of *tsrusanten, but I more like to use -us- to create adjectives (participles) from verbs. Just my opinion

[Eltu Lefngap Makto]

Wrapping up and going on:

Spoiler

fnusua txon, swoka txon
hahaw wotx, 'awpo pey
swoka mefor smon nì'aw
'evenganur leiu tswintsyìp
vivar hivahaw, ma fpom
vivar hivahaw, sran.

fnusua txon, swoka txon
'itan Peyä, heiyangham:
fayfya tanyä ftu swoka key!
zawnonga krr awngar sngìlmä'i
Tewti Yeysu 'ongokx
Tewti Yeysu 'ongokx

fnusua txon, swoka txon
tìzusong zola'u
fäpaftu tawä Na'vinefam
Ayoel tìtstunwit kivame tsun
tokx tirear lolu
tokx tirear lolu

I'm going to quit supplying my own translation in order to make sure I'm saying what I think I'm saying