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My first short story in Na'vi

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It took me about an hour, actually.  I kept going back and looking up different words and forms, I changed the tense at one point from present to past.  And every word was new to me, so I had to keep looking them up to make sure I had the spelling right.

All in all, a tedious process, but I'm proud of myself, as fault-filled as it may be XD

well, well done.

Irayo ma guitarsniper!

omängum fra'uti:
Nice story, and somewhat brave and bold so early on.  Good move overall. :)

I'm the deaf leading the blind here, but the only sentence there I've really thought about is the last one.  I'm trying to offer constructive criticism here, but please someone smack me down if I'm talking nonsense.

Oe rä’ä omum pe umilyä ral lu…

I see three nouns, including the pronoun "I", but the sentence looks like it's just a literal translation of enlish "I do not know what the dream meaning is".  From my poor understanding it seems like Oe should be Oel because it is what is not understanding, but the rest seems like it forms a compound structure which is not addressed by the explanation of grammar and is far beyond the little bit I think I understand.

It also bothers me that ral is a noun there, because that is not the part of the sentence that is seems like "meaning" should be in that context.  Maybe if it was phrased more as a question Oel rä’ä omum unilyäti peral lu.  However that's probably grammatically completely wrong, just giving an example of an alternate way to phrase such a sentence to convey the same meaning.
Edit: Come to think of it, ral is odd as a noun to begin with, because it ends in l.  Would it become ral-l as the object of a sentence?  How would that even be pronounced?  Maybe it's possible that the vocabulary just has the part of speech wrong, or the noun is really ra and what's in the dictionary is really the word with the -l suffix already?  I would love to see some reference for the context of where words are used.

Irayo ma Tiger!

I figured, this was my chance to be the first person to write a story in Na'vi. Better do it before someone else does >.>

You're probably right, I'll certainly look into it.  Thanks so much for the critique!


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