A Little Diddy Two-Minute Project Needs Proofreading

Started by Stranger Come Knocking, January 28, 2012, 12:17:51 PM

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Stranger Come Knocking

All right, so I was reminiscing last night about the joys of elementary school and an old song came to mind, a spoof of "This Land is Your Land"  I don't put this in the Fandom Song Board simply because I don't plan on recording it or uploading it to YouTube or any of that fun stuff.  I would just like the lyrics for my own peace of mind.

I don't quite remember the original lyrics, but I definitely remember the spoof.


This land is my land
It isn't your land
I have a shotgun
And you don't got one
If you don't get off
I'll blow your head off
This land was made for me not you

Atxkxke lu pum oeyä
Po lu ke pum ngeyä
Lu oeru ikran
Lu ngaru ke po
Txo nga ke hum
Ikranìl nga yayom
Atxkxe lu oeru ke ngaru
The land is mine
It is not yours
(The me is an ikran)
(It is not to you)
If you do not leave
The ikran will yom you
The land is for me not for you
Yes, we did used to sing this in elementary school...and it was a Christian elementary school. ;D
I will not die for less
I dug my grave in this
Will I go before I fall
Or live to slight the odds?

These are my books.  You should check it out.  Speculative sci-fi murder mystery historical fiction.

`Eylan Ayfalulukanä

HRH Nang!!

I hadn't heard this one before. Certainly not meoauniaea but a lot of fun nevertheless!

:)

Yawey ngahu!
pamrel si ro [email protected]

Tirea Aean

#2
Quote from: Tanhì Mì Ton on January 28, 2012, 12:17:51 PM

This land is my land
It isn't your land
I have a shotgun
And you don't got one
If you don't get off
I'll blow your head off
This land was made for me not you
Fìatxkxe lu (pum) oeyä
ke lu pum ngeyä
Lu oeru ikran
Ke Lu ngaru po
Txo nga ke hivum
pol ngati yasyom
Atxkxe lu oeru ke ngaru
This land is mine
is not yours
(To me is an ikran)
(He is not to you)
If you do not leave
He shall yom you
The land is for me not for you

Made some edits. AWESOME HRH I think I remember this from back in the day. O_O

Stranger Come Knocking

#3
Quote from: `Eylan Ayfalulukanä on January 28, 2012, 12:48:58 PM
HRH Nang!!

I hadn't heard this one before. Certainly not meoauniaea but a lot of fun nevertheless!

:)
Oh, no kidding.  We got a real kick out of it in 3rd grade. ;D


Quote from: Tirea Aean on January 28, 2012, 12:52:12 PM

This land is my land
It isn't your land
I have a shotgun
And you don't got one
If you don't get off
I'll blow your head off
This land was made for me not you
Fìatxkxe lu (pum) oeyä
ke lu pum ngeyä
Lu oeru ikran
Ke Lu ngaru po
Txo nga ke hivum
pol ngati yasyom
Atxkxe lu oeru ke ngaru
This land is mine
is not yours
(To me is an ikran)
(He is not to you)
If you do not leave
He shall yom you
The land is for me not for you

o.o Nice.  And it even fits the tune (after some working).

Fìatxkxe lu oeyä
Ke lu pum ngeyä
Lu oeru ikran
Ke lu ngaru po
Txo nga ke hivum
Pol ngati yasyom
Atxkxe lu oeru ke ngaru

*gives cookies*

Ma Tirea, stop editing!  You're making me edit! ;D

This actual spoof or the original TLIYL?
I will not die for less
I dug my grave in this
Will I go before I fall
Or live to slight the odds?

These are my books.  You should check it out.  Speculative sci-fi murder mystery historical fiction.

Kamean

Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.


Tirea Aean

HRRH! ! You KNOW my editing OCD.  ;D

Yes, I remember most of the original, and most of the spoof. Being college 3rdyear, It's been a little while since elementary school hrh

Stranger Come Knocking

Hi there.  Stranger Come Knocking again.  I didn't want to create a whole new thread, so I figured to just add my two new diddies right here.


I will not die for less
I dug my grave in this
Will I go before I fall
Or live to slight the odds?

These are my books.  You should check it out.  Speculative sci-fi murder mystery historical fiction.

'Oma Tirea

[img]http://swokaikran.skxawng.lu/sigbar/nwotd.php?p=2b[/img]

ÌTXTSTXRR!!

Srake serar le'Ìnglìsìa lì'fyayä aylì'ut?  Nari si älofoniru rutxe!!

Tirea Aean

HRH txntsan

I might be back for this. But for now, I say I like these ;D

Kamean

Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.


Blue Elf

HRH, nice :)
Just some notes:
Txolìng pot fpi swaw
Po kolä ulte rolun 'awm
Saronyul tololtem ayswizawit (btw, it is question whay we shoot - arrows or prey ? Exact usage of "toltem" is not clear yet)
Fìaylì'u nga plltxe?
Nga ke tsun pivlltxe san lu frapor fpxafaw,
Moel tel wayt a plltxe ta sute perawm ...ìì, ke tslam...
Nga lu alaksi fpi tsa'u? (ts lenites to s)
Ftivang li(r)vu 'ipu.
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Tirea Aean

^^

1. Swawo
2. 'Awmit
3. Good point
4. faylì'ut ngal plltxe srak

6. Moel tel wayit a sutel peng ...(continued on next line)

8. tsari nga lu alaksi srak?

Stranger Come Knocking

Quote from: Blue Elf on February 05, 2012, 01:18:32 PM
HRH, nice :)
Just some notes:
Txolìng pot fpi swaw
Po kolä ulte rolun 'awm
Saronyul tololtem ayswizawit (btw, it is question whay we shoot - arrows or prey ? Exact usage of "toltem" is not clear yet)
Fìaylì'u nga plltxe?
Nga ke tsun pivlltxe san lu frapor fpxafaw,
Moel tel wayt a plltxe ta sute perawm ...ìì, ke tslam...
Nga lu alaksi fpi tsa'u? (ts lenites to s)
Ftivang li(r)vu 'ipu.
Haha.  All right, I guess I'm not being entirely fair.  Not everyone has seen VeggieTales or Silly Songs with Larry.

VeggieTales: The Water Buffalo Song

It isn't supposed to make sense or be entirely clear.  It's rhyming for the sake of rhyme and rhythm.

Quote from: Tirea Aean on February 06, 2012, 12:16:06 PM
^^

1. Swawo
2. 'Awmit
3. Good point
4. faylì'ut ngal plltxe srak

6. Moel tel wayit a sutel peng ...(continued on next line)

8. tsari nga lu alaksi srak?

Are these specific line corrections? ???
I will not die for less
I dug my grave in this
Will I go before I fall
Or live to slight the odds?

These are my books.  You should check it out.  Speculative sci-fi murder mystery historical fiction.

Tirea Aean

#13
Quote from: Stranger Come Knocking on February 06, 2012, 04:38:02 PM
Quote from: Tirea Aean on February 06, 2012, 12:16:06 PM
^^

1. Swawo
2. 'Awmit
3. Good point
4. faylì'ut ngal plltxe srak

6. Moel tel wayit a sutel peng ...(continued on next line)

8. tsari nga lu alaksi srak?

Are these specific line corrections? ???

They were @BlueElf. sorry I wasn't clear.

So it rhymes for the sake of rhyming with disregard to grammar?

Stranger Come Knocking

Quote from: Tirea Aean on February 06, 2012, 04:45:34 PM
Quote from: Stranger Come Knocking on February 06, 2012, 04:38:02 PM
Quote from: Tirea Aean on February 06, 2012, 12:16:06 PM
^^

1. Swawo
2. 'Awmit
3. Good point
4. faylì'ut ngal plltxe srak

6. Moel tel wayit a sutel peng ...(continued on next line)

8. tsari nga lu alaksi srak?

Are these specific line corrections? ???

They were @BlueElf. sorry I wasn't clear.

So it rhymes for the sake of rhyming with disregard to grammar?
Well, not total disregard for grammar.  More of a...if it fits, go ahead and use it.  Otherwise...get creative. *shifty eyes*
I will not die for less
I dug my grave in this
Will I go before I fall
Or live to slight the odds?

These are my books.  You should check it out.  Speculative sci-fi murder mystery historical fiction.

Tirea Aean

If that's the context then disregard all grammar fixes :P


Stranger Come Knocking

Quote from: Tirea Aean on February 06, 2012, 05:02:21 PM
If that's the context then disregard all grammar fixes :P


So there is nothing to be done?  No way to kinda squish it into the mold while still being grammatically correct?
I will not die for less
I dug my grave in this
Will I go before I fall
Or live to slight the odds?

These are my books.  You should check it out.  Speculative sci-fi murder mystery historical fiction.

Tirea Aean