Another Na'vi poem...

Started by Irtaviš Ačankif, January 08, 2012, 09:55:00 PM

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Irtaviš Ačankif

I originally intended this for the Na'vi Writing Contest, but it was too short...

Pxaya sute plltxe san:
"Lì'fya leNa'vi lu kawng nìtxan!
Txo nga plltxe nìNa'vi mi,
lekeye'ung lu nga ulte eltu ke sìltsan!"

Slä vìsyar nivumeie
lì'fya leNa'vi oe.
Ftang, kì'ong si set?
Oe san: kehe!

Oe nì'ia plltxe san:
"Lì'fya leNa'vi leiu sìltsan!
Txo oe plltxe nìNa'vi,
lu tìlen aswey mì oeyä tìrey!"

Slä zene nivängume:
Ayhoren, aylì'u, ayfam...frakrr.
Ulte zene ftivia:
Fra'u mì lì'uä puk...pxasìk!

Nìrangal nivume fra'u mì swawtsyìp,
slä zene nivume 'u ta 'utsyìp.
'Aw, mune, pxey - oeru lu
nì'ul horen sì aylì'u - wou!

Nì'ia oe kerame:
lì'fya leNa'vi - lor sì sìltsan,
Oe flä nivume tsat,
ha erefu nitram nìtxan!
Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Tirea Aean

aw this isnt too short to have been a contest entry. I think this might have gotten a pretty good score.

only thing that somewhat catches my eye here is a few infixes in the wrong position but overall it was fun and enjoyable. :)

Blue Elf

Wou, it is not bad! Very pity you didn't submitted it...

I can see some more mistakes adding to mentioned wrong infix positions:
- instead of nì'ia should be probably nì'i'a (finally)
- instead of keye'ung (noun) should be lekye'ung (adjective)
- at some places next to nume is missing patientive
- Fra'utseng mì lì'uä puk (??)
- wondering what "kì'ong si" means..

But still nice work, I'm wondering how many poets are here...
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


'Oma Tirea

Quote from: Blue Elf on January 09, 2012, 01:36:09 AM
- wondering what "kì'ong si" means..

To slow down, if I'm not mistaken.

[img]http://swokaikran.skxawng.lu/sigbar/nwotd.php?p=2b[/img]

ÌTXTSTXRR!!

Srake serar le'Ìnglìsìa lì'fyayä aylì'ut?  Nari si älofoniru rutxe!!

Irtaviš Ačankif

#4
Quote from: Blue Elf on January 09, 2012, 01:36:09 AM
Wou, it is not bad! Very pity you didn't submitted it...

I can see some more mistakes adding to mentioned wrong infix positions:
- instead of nì'ia should be probably nì'i'a (finally)
- instead of keye'ung (noun) should be lekye'ung (adjective)
- at some places next to nume is missing patientive
- Fra'utseng mì lì'uä puk (??)
- wondering what "kì'ong si" means..

But still nice work, I'm wondering how many poets are here...

Irayo nìtxan. As for fra'u, I meant "everything in the dictionary."

Edit. Sorry I misunderstood you. I was so leskxawng to use fratseng!
Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Kamean

Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.


Alyara Arati

It's not too short; it says everything that you wanted it to say, kefyak?  This is very evokative.  And good luck with all your further learning!
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci