Ezy Ryder's attempt at poetry

[Ezy Ryder]

Vospxìay oe new oeyä lì'fya leNa'vi slivu sìltsan. Ulte tìpamrel susi len sìltsana fya'o tìnumefpi. Ha fpolìl oel futa tsivun ngivop oel kìngit fte sute tsivun sleykivu.
Tsa'u lu 'awve:

Tayìng tìyawnit tìnusumel
Nitram tsivun livu fopxel
Keng ke lu ngay, tìyawn liyevu

Hufwa tsakem ngäzìk längu
Kin txana krrit
Nìteng tìkangkemit

Slä mi, oe nume
Ulte ke ftasyang vaykrr a kame

[Alyara Arati]

Tìpuseyri, ngaytxoa nìngay!  Zola'eiu nìprrte' fìkìngmì!  Ulte furia nga new sleykivu nìltsan nì'ul ngeyä tsulfäti lìfyayä leNa'vi fìfya, oeri teya si!
Regarding the wait, I'm truly sorry!  Welcome to this thread!  And that you wish to make better your mastery of the Na'vi language in this manner, fills me (with joy)!

Ngeyä way lu lor nìtxan!  Srane, fwa nume tsun livu ngäzìk krro krro, slä rutxe vivar.
Your poem is very beautiful.  Yes, learning can be difficult sometimes, but please continue.

'Awa kxeyeyit zene livawk oe.  Fpìl oel futa tsun nga sivar lì'ut alu tìnusumel fìfya mì way, hufwa ke 'efu oe seykxel nìwotx.
I must discuss one mistake.  I think that you can use the word "tìnusumel" this way in a poem, although I don't feel completely confident.

In your introductory sentences, however, you have put <us> into a "si" verb, which is unnecessary and incorrect.  Pamrel itself means writing, so you don't need the "si" at all.
Otherwise, it's excellent!  Please ask if you have any questions about this, or anything else.  Once again, sorry for the late response!

Vospxìay oe new oeyä lì'fya leNa'vi slivu sìltsan. Ulte tìpamrel susi len sìltsana fya'o tìn<us>umefpi. Ha fpolìl oel futa tsivun ngivop oel kìngit fte sute tsivun sleykivu.
Tsa'u lu 'awve:

Tayìng tìyawnit tìnusumel
Nitram tsivun livu fopxel
Keng ke lu ngay, tìyawn liyevu

Hufwa tsakem ngäzìk längu
Kin txana krrit
Nìteng tìkangkemit

Slä mi, oe nume
Ulte ke ftasyang vaykrr a kame

[Ezy Ryder]

Thanks, and it's no problem, everybody has a life outside this forum.
About the mistakes, I absolutely agree with "len", but I'm not sure about "pamrel" being the correct word itself. I don't know if I just can't use the dictionary properly, but the only translation of this word in the dictionary is "n. writing", so now I'm not sure whether it is an abstract noun, meaning the act of writing (which is what I want), or a regular noun meaning material effect of writing, the text that was written.

[Tirea Aean]

Thanks, and it's no problem, everybody has a life outside this forum.
About the mistakes, I absolutely agree with "len", but I'm not sure about "pamrel" being the correct word itself. I don't know if I just can't use the dictionary properly, but the only translation of this word in the dictionary is "n. writing", so now I'm not sure whether it is an abstract noun, meaning the act of writing (which is what I want), or a regular noun meaning material effect of writing, the text that was written.

It's the regular noun meaning the text written. it's a compound which in English would be "sound-image" or "sound-picture", the idea of a picture or image that represents sound. The verb form is pamrel si, meaning "to do writing". The gerund (act of) form is the same as the noun. (Because the gerund rule for si verbs is to just use the regular noun) Pamrel. So actually it's kinda both.

[Blue Elf]

Well, TA was faster again
Welcome here, Ezy Rider. I read your attempt before, but hadn't time to make comment - and then a forget about it completely...
My note regarding "tìpamrel susi" - I'm not sure tì -<us> can be used with si verbs. I'd use different form:

Ulte fwa (fko) pamrel si lu sìltsana fya'o tìnusumefpi.

Have a nice time here

[Tirea Aean]

Well, TA was faster again
Welcome here, Ezy Rider. I read your attempt before, but hadn't time to make comment - and then a forget about it completely...
My note regarding "tìpamrel susi" - I'm not sure tì -<us> can be used with si verbs. I'd use different form:

Ulte fwa (fko) pamrel si lu sìltsana fya'o tìnusumefpi.

Have a nice time here

Correct. No *tì-pamrel s<us>i. Like I said, the rule for making gerunds with tì-<us> doesn't apply to __ si verbs. You just remove si and use the noun.