Kea Tìsraw

Started by Alyara Arati, September 22, 2011, 02:46:22 AM

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Alyara Arati

txo oe kivä
txo zivene oe hivum
ke tsrivanten
nìngay ke tsrivanten

kawkrr sì frakrr oe lolu
kawkrr oe ke tolok
frakrr oe fkeytolok

ha txo oe vivar
fu txo nivew oe 'ivì'awn
ke tsrivanten
nìngay ke tsrivanten

fra'u sì ke'u livatem
fra'u frakrr leratem
ke'u kawkrr ke latem

tafral rä'ä 'efu keftxo
tafral rä'ä tsngawvìk
talun uk nì'aw 'ivi'a
talun mi oeru livu fpom

Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

Syulang

Oel ayngati kameie ma oeyä aysmukan sì aysmuke ulte Eywa ayngahu livu

munea kifkey, 'awa soaia

Le'eylan

This is really beautiful! I like it a lot  :)
Krro krro pamrel seri fìtsengmì, alu oey pìlok leNa'vi
Sometimes writing here, on my Na'vi blog
=^● ⋏ ●^=

Blue Elf

Tse, pamrel atxantsan nìfrakrr, ma Alyara, slä keftxo nì'it... Srake nga 'efu keftxo?

And this part:
fra'u sì ke'u livatem
I'd rewrite as ke'u requires negation, while fra'u not, so:

ke'u sì fra'u livatem
or
fra'u livatem ulte ke'u ke livatem (too long, I know...)

I'm interested what more experienced people say about it

Syulangur Nì'ìnglìsì (some freedom taken on translation):

If I'll go
if I'd must to leave
it wouldn't matter
really, it wouldn't matter

I was never and ever
I never occupied
I always existed
so if will continue
or if I'd want to stay
it wouldn't matter
really, it wouldn't matter

Everything and nothing would change
everything is changing always
nothing ever changes
therefore don't be sad
therefore don't cry
because I'll always be happy
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Sireayä mokri

Prrte' oeru fwa tse'a lahea pamrelit ngeyä fìtseng, ma Alyara :)

Quote from: Blue Elf on September 22, 2011, 06:47:42 AM
ke'u sì fra'u livatem
or
fra'u livatem ulte ke'u ke livatem

Both are fine to me. The first one being probably more poetic.
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Alyara Arati

Irayo nìtxan ma tsmuktu.  Nìngay. :D

Quote from: Blue Elf on September 22, 2011, 06:47:42 AM
because I'll always be happy

I might have said "because I'd still be at peace", but thank you ma Blue Elf for the excellent translation. :)
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

Blue Elf

Quote from: Sireayä mokri on September 22, 2011, 09:07:07 AM
Quote from: Blue Elf on September 22, 2011, 06:47:42 AM
ke'u sì fra'u livatem
or
fra'u livatem ulte ke'u ke livatem

Both are fine to me. The first one being probably more poetic.
Well, I was interested what you mean about original line: fra'u sì ke'u livatem

QuoteI might have said "because I'd still be at peace", but thank you ma Blue Elf for the excellent translation.
:) that's way I did note about translation freedom. Translating Na'vi into English is easier than opposite direction (although it depends on author :D)
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Sireayä mokri

Quote from: Blue Elf on September 22, 2011, 09:50:10 AM
Well, I was interested what you mean about original line: fra'u sì ke'u livatem

I don't have anything against it, actually. But that's based solely on my perception of it in Russian.
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Kamean

Ma Aylara, txantsan nìtxan nang! :)

+1 :D
Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.


Alyara Arati

Irayo nìtxan ma Kamean.  Fpìl oel futa kxawm new oel relit fpi fìpoem, slä ke rolun oel pumit aeyawr ke li.
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

'Oma Tirea

Quote from: Alyara Arati on September 22, 2011, 02:46:22 AM
kawkrr oe ke tolok

Here's where I find the real issue: how can tok exist on its own with no direct object?  Perhaps better with fkeytok or lu if you don't want a direct object, otherwise, add one.

Txantsana pamrel a keftxo nì'it, slä mi oeru sunu.

[img]http://swokaikran.skxawng.lu/sigbar/nwotd.php?p=2b[/img]

ÌTXTSTXRR!!

Srake serar le'Ìnglìsìa lì'fyayä aylì'ut?  Nari si älofoniru rutxe!!

Alyara Arati

Ma 'Oma Tirea, irayo.  And I know that it is strange, using tok without a direct object, but I wanted a word that conveyed "been" in the sense of "been an embodied, physical being".  Blue Elf's choice of "occupied" does a pretty good job of describing that in English. :)
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

Sireayä mokri

Quote from: 'Oma Tirea on September 22, 2011, 11:55:53 PM
Here's where I find the real issue: how can tok exist on its own with no direct object?

"Occupy an unspecified space"? Antipassive is still a very vague matter.
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Tan Jala

Ma Alyara, txantsana pamrel :D

Blue Elf

Quote from: Alyara Arati on September 23, 2011, 08:56:27 AM
Ma 'Oma Tirea, irayo.  And I know that it is strange, using tok without a direct object, but I wanted a word that conveyed "been" in the sense of "been an embodied, physical being".  Blue Elf's choice of "occupied" does a pretty good job of describing that in English. :)
I was wondering a little too, but I think we must allow some "not correct" construction in poetry, otherwise it would not be so nice and interesting. Even poetry on Earth uses such thing - and earth's languages have more rich vocabulary than Na'vi :)
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Alyara Arati

Quote from: Blue Elf on September 23, 2011, 09:54:24 AM
I think we must allow some "not correct" construction in poetry, otherwise it would not be so nice and interesting. Even poetry on Earth uses such thing - and earth's languages have more rich vocabulary than Na'vi :)

Thank you ma 'eylan.  Those were my feelings on the matter exactly. :D  And thanks as well to you, ma Tan Jala! :)
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci