Author Topic: Kxamä Atxkxe  (Read 1186 times)

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Offline Ftxavanga Txe′lan

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Kxamä Atxkxe
« on: June 29, 2011, 01:56:12 pm »
Kaltxì ma oeyä eylan! :) Pamrel sami mune ay*poem* nìNa'vi: 'awvea *poem* lu mawl amuve tìrolä ta Txolkìn a Bilbo way si mì Imladris, ulte pamrel sami oe *poem*ur amuve nì'Ìnglìsì zìsìtam. :D Lu teri Orrks sì lahea ayswirä akawng txampxì. Fwa kem sami oe pxaya keyeyur lu law, slä sìlpey oe tsnì prrte' layu ayngaru. :) Skxakep pamrel sayi alahe ayur teri Kxamä Atxkxe, ulte wayìntxu ayut fìtsenge! ;)


Bilboyä tìrol mì Imladris

Talun(a) mi lu fìtxan pxaya ayut
a kawkrr tsole’a oel:
mì frana’rìng sì frakilvan
lu eampin aketeng.

Heyn oe txeprofa ulte fpìl
teri sute ta ftawnemkrr alìm,
sì sute a tsaye’a kifkey
a kawkrr ke ayomum oel.

Slä krr nìwotx heyn oe ulte fpìl
teri hrr a lamu srekrr,
tìng mikyun tusätxawa ayvenuru
sì aymokri tìfpxäkìmro.

nì'Ìnglìsì


Kea tìkawng

Nì’aw tìkanhu skiva’änga lora ayfì’ut nìwotx,
Ayfo tamìran mì atanä kifkey.
Zeyka’u txonur akawng
Nemfa sìltsana suteyä txe’lan sì vitra.

Fìtxan ayfo luke txe’lan sì luke tìtslam lamu,
Fìtxan law fwa flivä!
Vamirä ukit txopuyä luke tì‘i’a
Fparmìl ayfoä Layona Krr zamarmunge.

Slä lamu atanvi a ayfo ke tsamun skiva’a,
Tìtxur a ke tsun tiverkup, trr’ongmawto lor,
A to tsam sì tìsraw seykxel lamu.

Nì’i’a, tì’eylan to tìkawng lamu seykxel.
Fìsìlpey sì skawngä fìtìtxur a lamam meyp,
Fìmeylan a zamong kifkeyit ‘awsiteng.

Fyape tsamun fì’u len,
Tìtätxaw tìloru krr a tsa lamu stum skola’a?
Fwa oeyk lu tìseykxel a tsawl nìhawng lu, txopu si oe.

nì'Ìnglìsì

Offline Alyara Arati

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2011, 09:28:53 pm »
Txantsan nìtxan!  Irayo seiyi ma oeyä 'eylan! :D :-* :D
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

Offline Ftxavanga Txe′lan

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2011, 10:00:03 pm »
Wou! Fwa peng ngal fì'ut oeru teya si, ma tsmuke. :D Irayo nìtxan! :-X

Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2011, 03:04:15 am »
Wou, tìralpeng atxantsan, seysonìltsan! *Hobbit* nì'Navi, sìltsana safpìl :)

a few notes about grammar:
- Not sure about tìfpxäkìm, "tì-" words are abstract, while door is concrete thing. Unfortunately I have no better proposal at this time...
- Zeyka'u should be transitive, so: Zeyka’u txonit akawng
- Fìsìlpey - should be tìsìlpey (hope as noun, not verb)
- Tìtätxaw tìloru krr a tsa lamu stum skola’a? is not correct. Tìtätxaw is noun, not a verb, so next word can't be in dative - genitive fits here. And skola'a is candidate for passive participle, what needs some rephrasing (no warranty of correctness):
  Tìtätxaw tìlorä krr a lamu tsa'u  askawna’a stum?
  Return of the beauty when it was almost destroyed?
Probably is better to delete krr entirely, so "when it" changes to "which" - sounds better for me.
Also, in some places I'd use different word order, but as it is "free" in Na'vi, I can't say that there are mistakes. No, it is good job (even despite I had to look some words in dictionary, but it is problem of my poor vocabulary).
Applause for you :)
« Last Edit: June 30, 2011, 04:39:19 am by Blue Elf »
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2011, 04:18:49 am »
wow you really are a lord of rings fan.
those are really nice poems.

corrections:
Quote
sì sute a tsaye’a kifkeyit

Quote
Slä krr nìwotx a heyn oe ulte fpìl

Quote
Nì’aw tìkanhu skiva’änga lora ayfì’ut nìwotx,
this should be said: nì'aw tìkanhu a skiva'änga lora fra'ut nìwotx.
or like this: nì'aw tìkanhu tìska'ayä fra'uä alor.

Quote
Zeyka’u txonurit akawng

Quote
Fìtxan law fwa flivä!
there is no word for "sure, convinced" yet (there was a proposal btw) so I'll just fori at the beginning of this sentence.

Quote
Veykamirä ukit txopuyä luke tì‘i’a
Fparmìl futa ayfoä Layona Krr zamarmunge.

Quote
sìlpey sì ayskxawngä fìtìtxur a lamam meyp,

Quote
Fyape tsamun fì’u liven,

Quote
Tìtätxaw tìloru krr a tsa lamu stum skola’a?
should be: tìtätxaw tìlorä a stum tsat skola'a.

Quote
Fwa oeyk lu tìseykxel a tsawl nìhawng lu, txopu si oe.


ask anything if you don't understand.
Nivume Na'vit, fpivìl nìNa'vi, kivame na Na'vi.....
oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

Offline Puvomun

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2011, 07:15:03 am »
Txolkìn sivunu fì'ur :D
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Offline Ftxavanga Txe′lan

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2011, 08:42:31 am »
Irayo nìtxan ma eylan, teri srung sì aylì'u atstunwi. :D

Txolkìn sivunu fì'ur :D

Mllte oe! :D Srane, *Lord of the Rings* yawne oer nìtxan lu! :)

__________________________________

Fwa ke kem sami keyeyur apxay oeru teya si. ;D Slä lu sìpawm oeru:

Quote
Slä krr nìwotx a heyn oe ulte fpìl

The original line being "But all the while I sit and think", I put nìwotx to express all the time and didn't put an a because I felt it wasn't necessary. Why have you corrected it like that? :) Would it work if I said fìkrr nìwotx?

Quote
Nì’aw tìkanhu skiva’änga lora ayfì’ut nìwotx,
this should be said: nì'aw tìkanhu a skiva'änga lora fra'ut nìwotx.
or like this: nì'aw tìkanhu tìska'ayä fra'uä alor.

Why a in the first sentence? I thought that <iv> in skiva'änga already expressed "the aim to destroy" and didn't think something else would be needed.

Quote
Zeyka’u txonurit akawng

I thought that za'u was intransitive and that intransitive verbs always take the dative instead of patientive.

Quote
Fwa oeyk lu tìseykxel a tsawl nìhawng lu, txopu si oe.

Isn't fwa part of a special sentence construction? I tried to say here "That the cause is a confidence that is too big, I fear". :)

Offline Sireayä mokri

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2011, 09:08:27 am »
Talun(a) mi lu fìtxan pxaya ayut
a kawkrr ke tsole’a oel:
...
teri sute ta ftawnemkrr alìm*,
...
sì aymokriru tìfpxäkìmro.
...
Fìtxan* ayfo luke txe’lan sì luke tìtslam lamu,
...
Fparmìl futa ayfoeyä Layona Krr zamarmunge.

Tse, sunu oer :D

Txolkìn sivunu fì'ur :D

Kxawm fì'u sivunu Txolkìnur kefyak? ;)

The original line being "But all the while I sit and think", I put nìwotx to express all the time and didn't put an a because I felt it wasn't necessary. Why have you corrected it like that? :) Would it work if I said fìkrr nìwotx?

Nìwotx is basically totally. So I don't feel like it would fit here. A is used with krr to say when.

Why a in the first sentence? I thought that <iv> in skiva'änga already expressed "the aim to destroy" and didn't think something else would be needed.

<iv> would work like that only in modal syntax, where aim has to be a verb, not a noun.

I thought that za'u was intransitive and that intransitive verbs always take the dative instead of patientive.

<eyk> turns it into transitive, thus patientive is used.

Isn't fwa part of a special sentence construction? I tried to say here "That the cause is a confidence that is too big, I fear". :)

Indeed your sentence is correct here.
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Offline Tirea Aean

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2011, 09:11:53 am »

I have been thoroughly and precisely ninja'd.

EDIT: a question:

fwa [...] txopu si oe

isnt that the same as saying

oe txopu si fì'u ? is that correct?

I might have said furia.

//post justified. :)
« Last Edit: June 30, 2011, 09:13:56 am by Tirea Aean »

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Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2011, 09:34:57 am »
Isn't fwa part of a special sentence construction? I tried to say here "That the cause is a confidence that is too big, I fear". :)
Indeed your sentence is correct here.
why is that? oeyk lu tìseykxel a nìhawng tsawl slolu. fwa is simply not needed.
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oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

Offline Tirea Aean

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2011, 09:37:26 am »
Isn't fwa part of a special sentence construction? I tried to say here "That the cause is a confidence that is too big, I fear". :)
Indeed your sentence is correct here.
why is that? oeyk lu tìseykxel a nìhawng tsawl slolu. fwa is simply not needed.

unless you're going for

furia [...] oe txopu si

EDIT: what about

fwa oeyk lu tìseykxel a nìhawng tsawl slolu, längam oer
« Last Edit: June 30, 2011, 09:41:56 am by Tirea Aean »

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Offline Sireayä mokri

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2011, 09:57:30 am »
I think it's the continuation of fyape tsamun fì'u liven; fì'u a oeyk lu... Oe txopu si seems to be a different clause with implied tsari.
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2011, 09:58:22 am »
Isn't fwa part of a special sentence construction? I tried to say here "That the cause is a confidence that is too big, I fear". :)
Indeed your sentence is correct here.
why is that? oeyk lu tìseykxel a nìhawng tsawl slolu. fwa is simply not needed.
In this sentence is fwa not needed, but in Ftxavanga Txe'lanä sentence it works like connector (which can't be simply removed). Simply rewrite it in reverse order:

Oe txopu si fwa oeyk lu tìseykxel a tsawl nìhawng lu. (I'm afraid that reason is....)
I don't see mistake here...
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Sireayä mokri

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2011, 10:00:10 am »
I don't see mistake here...

Fwa and oe would both be subjects.
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2011, 10:17:52 am »
I don't see mistake here...

Fwa and oe would both be subjects.

yeah. this is the same reason why -l and -t exist. but you cant use them on txopu si.

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Offline Ftxavanga Txe′lan

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2011, 10:38:01 am »
Irayo ma Sireayä mokri, tslam frakeyeyit oeyä set! :) I only have one question. What should I use instead of fìtxan in this sentence?

Fìtxan* ayfo luke txe’lan sì luke tìtslam lamu,

Concerning the fwa construction, I took it from Na'vi in a Nutshell. It says:

Fwa sute atxan fìtxan fteria lì'fya leNa'vi oeru teya si.
(The fact) That so many people are studying the Na'vi language fills me with joy.

EDIT: what about

fwa oeyk lu tìseykxel a nìhawng tsawl slolu, längam oer

It does sound much better with längam, because the attitude is less negative. :) Sìltsana säfpìl!

Pamrel sami eyawra ur mì *documents* oeyä, slä ke omum txo sweylu yivem ut fìtsenge. ììì :)

Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2011, 10:42:59 am »
I don't see mistake here...

Fwa and oe would both be subjects.

yeah. this is the same reason why -l and -t exist. but you cant use them on txopu si.
here should be furia then.
What should I use instead of fìtxan in this sentence?

Fìtxan* ayfo luke txe’lan sì luke tìtslam lamu,
probably nìftxan because it's an adverb.
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Offline Sireayä mokri

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2011, 10:57:33 am »
So far the only confirmed usage of nìftxan is for comparisons. Nìtxan might work, I think.
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2011, 11:08:09 am »
So far the only confirmed usage of nìftxan is for comparisons. Nìtxan might work, I think.
I know its usage, but since it's an adverb (basically nì+fìtxan)....
nìtxan is good but not enough in my opinion. it doesn't convey the wanted meaning.
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oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

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Re: Kxamä Atxkxe
« Reply #19 on: June 30, 2011, 11:23:05 am »
Well, fìtxan is an adverb as well, but still it can't be used "on its own".
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

 

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