Sutetsyìp

Started by Puvomun, October 26, 2011, 02:29:29 AM

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Puvomun

Puvomunìl sì Amhulìl tswamayon feyä mikranit.

"Ma puvomun, nìn tsatseng." Amhulä tsyokx lamu nena'ring. Mefol tsame'a tsengit peseng Sawtutel kamlkulat klltet.
Puvomun 'amefu keftxo. Tseng mì na'ring lamu tsawl sì ke lor. Mì klltxe, tìtìran, tsatseng lamam fpom nì'ul. "Tewti..." poan pamltxe. Fì'u sraw lamu. Poan namìn tsatsenge, ulte poan fpamìl ne tsam mìkam Na'vi sì Sawtute. Pelun, poan päpamawn. Pelum fìtsam? Txana ayzìsìt fra'u lamu sìltsan...
Sawtute... lì'u pam si mì Puvomunä re'o. "San Sawtute sìk lì'u ke lu yawne oeru set," poan pamltxe.
"Peu?" Amhul pamawn.
"San sawtute sìk lì'u plltxe uti akawng oeru. Sawtutel tìsraw seykami Eywa'evengit. Sute alahe, fo ke lu naSawtute."
Amhul 'amì'awn tìfnu ulte poe fpamìl. "Mllte oe, ma yawne. Fo ke lu Sawtute ke nì'ul. Feyä hunsip ke tswayon ke nì'ul. Set fo lu Sutetsyìp."
Puvomun hamahaw. Sutetsyìp, srane, fo lamu Sutetsyìp set.

Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Blue Elf

Tse, ma Puvomun, vur asìltsan. Slä.... tsal nga' kxeyeyit apxay (ngaytxoa)

Here's my rewritten version (although nor I can guarantee correctness :))

Puvomun sì Amhul tswamayon fa feyä meikran.
"Ma Puvomun, tìng nari tsatsengur." Amhulä tsyokxìl wìntxu tsengit mì na'ring. Mefol tsame'a pesenget Sawtutel kllkolulat klltet.
Puvomun 'amefu keftxo. Tseng mì na'rìng lamu apxa sì vä'. Tsaw lamam lefpom nì'ul, krr a mefo kllkxem mì hllte. "Tewti..." poan pamlltxe ulte 'amefu tìsrawit. Poan namìn tsatsenget ulte fpamìl teri tsam mìkam Na'vi sì Sawtute. Pelun, poan päpamawn. Pelun fìtsam? Txana ayzìsìtsre fra'u lamu sìltsan...
Sawtute... lì'u pam si mì Puvomunä re'o. "San Sawtute sìk lì'u ke lu yawne oeru set," poan pamlltxe.
"Pelun?" Amhul pamawn.
"San sawtute sìk lì'u plltxe teri ayu akawng. Sawtutel tìsraw seykami Eywa'evengit. Tsaysute alahe a tok fìtsenget ke lu na Sawtute."
Amhul var fnivu ulte poe fpamìl. "Mllte oe, ma yawne. Fo ke lu Sawtute li. Feyä hunsìp ke tsun tswivayon li. Set fo lu Sutetsyìp."
Puvomun hamahaw. Sutetsyìp, srane, fo lamu Sutetsyìp set.


Some of common mistakes: some typos (single l in plltxe, kllkulat), transitivity (tswayon is vin, nìn is vtr), lenition (mì hllte (t here is not ejective :)))
Well, but I still read that with pleasure, not many writers are here....
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Sireayä mokri

Tam, I'll take the Elf's version for final corrections:

Quote from: Blue Elf on October 26, 2011, 06:38:20 AM
Puvomun sì Amhul tswamayon fa mefeyä meikran.
"Ma Puvomun, tìng nari tsatsengur." Amhulä tsyokxìl wìntxu tsengit a mì na'ring. Mefol tsame'a petsenget a Sawtutel kllkolulat klltet.
Puvomun 'amefu keftxo. Tseng a mì na'rìng lamu apxa sì vä'. Tsaw lamam lefpom nì'ul, krr a mefo kllkxem mì hllte. "Tewti..." poan pamlltxe ulte 'amefu tìsrawit. Poan namìn tsatsenget ulte fpamìl teri tsam a mìkam Na'vi sì Sawtute. Pelun, poan päpamawn. Pelun fìtsam? Txana Pxaya ayzìsìtsre fra'u lamu sìltsan...
Sawtute... lì'u pam si mì PFuvomunä re'o. "San Sawtute sìk lu a lì'u ke lu yawne oeru set," poan pamlltxe.
"Pelun?" Amhul pamawn.
"San sawtute sìk lu a lì'u plltxe teri ayu akawng. Sawtutel tìsraw seykami Eywa'evengit. Tsaysute alahe a tok fìtsenget ke lu na Sawtute."
Amhul var fnivu ulte poe fpamìl. "Mllte oe, ma yawnetu. Fo ke lu Sawtute li. Feyä hunsìp ke tsun tswivayon li. Set fo lu Sutetsyìp."
Puvomun hamahaw hamangham. Sutetsyìp, srane, fo lamu Sutetsyìp set.


Ulte mllte, sunu oer fwa tse'a 'uoti amip fìtseng :)
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Kamean

Ma Puvomum, sìltsana pamreltsyìp. :)
Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.


Puvomun

Quote from: Kamean on October 26, 2011, 10:52:11 AM
Ma Puvomum, sìltsana pamreltsyìp. :)

Irayo, ma frapo, fpi eyawr si oeyä aylì'u.

Oel omum futa vur lu sìltsan nì'ul mì Ìnglìsì.
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Sireayä mokri

Quote from: Puvomun on October 26, 2011, 12:14:55 PM
Irayo, ma frapo, fpi eyawr si oeyä aylì'u.

I'd say "furia oeyä aylì'uti eyawr sleykolu, irayo, ma frapo."
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Blue Elf

Quote from: Sireayä mokri on October 26, 2011, 09:52:33 AM
Puvomun sì Amhul tswamayon fa mefeyä meikran.
Hmm, what about number principle - number should be expressed only once? Mefeyä ikran should be more correct, I think, but now see that there's space for ambiguity (theirs two ikrans vs. ikran of they two)
QuoteTxana Pxaya ayzìsìtsre fra'u lamu sìltsan...
Well, I think "before" would be better in original - otherwise I agree
Quote
Puvomun hamahaw hamangham. Sutetsyìp, srane, fo lamu Sutetsyìp set.[/i]
HRH, I didn't notice it in original, that's really funny ;D
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Alyara Arati

Quote from: Sireayä mokri on October 26, 2011, 09:52:33 AM
Tam, I'll take the Elf's version for final corrections:

Quote from: Blue Elf on October 26, 2011, 06:38:20 AM
Puvomun sì Amhul tswamayon fa mefeyä meikran.
San" Ma Puvomun, tìng nari tsatsengur."sìk.  Amhulä tsyokxìl wìntxu tsengit a mì na'ring. Mefol tsame'a petsenget a Sawtutel kllkolulat klltet.
Puvomun 'amefu keftxo. Tseng a mì na'rìng lamu apxa sì vä'. Tsaw lamam lefpom nì'ul, krr a mefo kllkxem mì hllte. San" Tewti..."sìk poan pamlltxe ulte 'amefu tìsrawit. Poanìl namìn tsatsenget ulte fpamìl teri tsam a mìkam Na'vi sì Sawtute. Pelun, poan päpamawn. Pelun fìtsam? Txana Pxaya ayzìsìtsre fra'u lamu sìltsan...
Sawtute... lì'u pam siPFuvomunä re'o. San" San Sawtute sìk lu a lì'u ke lu yawne oeru set,"sìk poan pamlltxe.
San" Pelun?"sìk Amhul pamawn.
San" San sawtute sìk lu a lì'u plltxe teri ayu akawng. Sawtutel tìsraw seykami Eywa'evengit. Tsaysute alahe a tok fìtsenget ke lu na Sawtute."sìk.
Amhul var fnivu ulte poe fpamìl. San" Mllte oe, ma yawnetu. Fo ke lu Sawtute li. Feyä hunsìp ke tsun tswivayon li. Set fo lu Sutetsyìp."sìk.
Puvomun hamahaw hamangham. Sutetsyìp, srane, fo lamu Sutetsyìp set.


Ulte mllte, sunu oer fwa tse'a 'uoti amip fìtseng :)

Tewti ;) ma Puvomun!  Furia nga pamrel seri fìtsenge teya si oeru. :D
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

Puvomun

Quote from: Alyara Arati on October 27, 2011, 01:34:30 AM
Tewti ;) ma Puvomun!  Furia nga pamrel seri fìtsenge teya si oeru. :D

Irayo, ma Alyara Arati, oe sìlpey tsnì oe pamrel sayi fitsenge nì'ul nìteng. :)
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Sireayä mokri

Quote from: Blue Elf on October 26, 2011, 03:21:21 PM
Hmm, what about number principle - number should be expressed only once? Mefeyä ikran should be more correct, I think, but now see that there's space for ambiguity (theirs two ikrans vs. ikran of they two)

Yes, that's why I'd rather use dual. KH still confuses me a lot sometimes...
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Blue Elf

Quote from: Sireayä mokri on October 27, 2011, 10:16:33 AM
Quote from: Blue Elf on October 26, 2011, 03:21:21 PM
Hmm, what about number principle - number should be expressed only once? Mefeyä ikran should be more correct, I think, but now see that there's space for ambiguity (theirs two ikrans vs. ikran of they two)

Yes, that's why I'd rather use dual. KH still confuses me a lot sometimes...
Oeri nìteng. I think Paul should give us more explanation...
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Kamean

Quote from: Blue Elf on October 27, 2011, 05:00:39 PM
Quote from: Sireayä mokri on October 27, 2011, 10:16:33 AM
Quote from: Blue Elf on October 26, 2011, 03:21:21 PM
Hmm, what about number principle - number should be expressed only once? Mefeyä ikran should be more correct, I think, but now see that there's space for ambiguity (theirs two ikrans vs. ikran of they two)

Yes, that's why I'd rather use dual. KH still confuses me a lot sometimes...
Oeri nìteng. I think Paul should give us more explanation...
We will wait.
Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.