Teri trr’ong

Tanri · June 21, 2011, 03:04:24 PM

Furia oel ke tamok fìtsengit 'a'awa trr, oeru txoa livu.
Set oel muwìntxu ayngar aylì'ut teri lora trr'ong a oeri lolen fu tsolun liven.

Fìpamrelìl nga' *sentence*it a lu ngäzìk frato a oe ngolop, tafral sìlpey oe tsnì ayngal tsliyevam tsat.

Tanri · June 21, 2011, 03:04:49 PM

Krr a ngima ayuk wäpìntxu,
fraswirä tìftang säpi fte srefivey.

Krr a payä ayìlva a lu äo ayrìk,
mì atan trr'ongä leru txanatan tepvina,
tup aysanhì a li sneraytx sneyä
tìwemit ameuianga' tsawkewä.

Ayfìwopxìl, a seyä vawma sìlam
lolu na ayyayo anawm ta ayway aspuwin,
terung futa tsawke atan seri ayngängur sneyä,
fte saw wäpivìntxu swawo ayol
fraswirär na'rìngä sì kllteyä
nìfya'o a fìwopxit tse'a torukìl sì saronyul
letaw a lu tstew frato.

Li hufwetsyìp txonä srekrr ftolang tivìran,
tengkrr hufwel trrä tìtxurit sneyä mi starsìm,
fte mivunge neto lora relit angawnop fa yapay.
Tsayapayit soma ayatanvil tsawkeyä merunge ftu txayo apaynga',
krr a saw uvan seri na eveng ulte srew mìkam ayuk ayutralä.

Nga zera'u nìprrte' ma tsawke a mipa trrit zamunge,
rutxe atan sivi ayoengar, fte sìlor kifkeyä ke wäpirvan eo ayoeng.
Rutxe atan sivi eylanur, fte fo ke tivatep fya'ot ultxane awngeyä.
Rutxe atan sivi aykutur, fte fo rivun tìtxantslusamit ulte slivu eylan.
ulte rutxe atan sivi keng ayswizawur awngeyä, fte tivakuk te'lanit feyä,
a feyä tìtxurwä akawng ayoeng kxawm zayene hivawnu atxkxet awngeyä.

Nga zera'u nìprrte' ma tsawke, oel ngati tsere'a ulte kameie!

Blue Elf · June 22, 2011, 06:56:42 AM

Fìpamrel lu skxakep sìltsan frato mìkam frapamrel a *read* fìtsengmì

+1
Probably I don't understand all well, but it is really great.

However, some things needs correction or explanation
- fraswirä ftäpolang fte srefivey
If you want to use "stop" without modal construction, tìftang si should be used
- Ayfìwopxìl, a seyä vawma sìlam
maybe tìlam is sufficient (?)
- fte saw wäpivìntxu fpi swawo ayol
- krr a saw uvan seri na eveng ulte srew mìkam ayuk ayutralä.
Ke tslam, why saw is used, you probably mean sa'u ?? It could be also plural of taw, but it doesn't fit here.

Once more, beautiful work..

Tswusayona Tsamsiyu · June 22, 2011, 07:26:52 AM

Quote from: Tanri on June 21, 2011, 03:04:49 PM
Krr a ngima ayuk wäpìntxu,
fraswirä ftäpolang fte srefivey.

Krr a payä ayìlva a lu äo ayrìk,
mì atan trr'ongä leru txanatan tepvina,
tup aysanhì a li sneraytx sneyä
tìwemit ameuianga' tsawkewä.

Ayfìwopxìl, a seyä vawma sìlam
lolu na ayyayo anawm ta ayway akoak,
terung futa tsawke atan seri ayngängur sneyä,
fte saw wäpivìntxu ~~fpi~~ swawori ayol
fraswirär na'rìngä sì kllteyä pum
nìfya'o a fìwopxit tse'a torukìl sì saronyul
letaw a lu tstew frato.

Li hufwetsyìp txonä srekrr ftolang tivìran,
tengkrr hufwel trrä tìtxurit sneyä mi starsìm,
fte mivunge neto lora relit angawnop fa yapay.
Tsayapayit soma ayatanvil tsawkeyä merunge ftu txayo apaynga',
krr a saw uvan seri na eveng ulte srew mìkam ayuk ayutralä.

Nga zera'u nìprrte' ma tsawke a mipa trrit zamunge,
rutxe atan sivi ayoengar, fte sìlor kifkeyä ke wäpirvan eo ayoeng.
Rutxe atan sivi eylanur, fte fo ke tivatep fya'ot ultxane awngeyä.
Rutxe atan sivi aykutur, fte fo rivun tìtxantslusamit ulte slivu eylan.
ulte rutxe atan sivi keng ayswizawur awngeyä, fte tivakuk te'lanit feyä,
a feyä tìtxurwä akawng ayoeng kxawm zayene hivawnu atxkxet awngeyä.

Nga zera'u nìprrte' ma tsawke, oel ngati tsere'a ulte kameie!

very beautiful words ma Tanri. I love the way you wrote it. one of the greatest writings I've read (not only nìNa'vi).

by the way I noticed you use atan si a lot. there's no such construction as far as I know. perhaps atanit tìng (also more poetic).

Quote from: Blue Elf on June 22, 2011, 06:56:42 AM
- fte saw wäpivìntxu fpi swawo ayol
- krr a saw uvan seri na eveng ulte srew mìkam ayuk ayutralä.
Ke tslam, why saw is used, you probably mean sa'u ?? It could be also plural of taw, but it doesn't fit here.

saw is plural of tsaw in this case. the power of context.

Kamean · June 22, 2011, 10:28:35 AM

Pamrel atxantsan.

Tanri · June 22, 2011, 11:08:11 AM

Irayo seiyi ayngaru ma eylan, ngeyä aylì'ul tìprrte'it ngerop txe'lanmì oeyä.
Ngeyä aysäplltxevi a fì'uri leykolatem oel pamrelit oeyä, slä ayuot oel txolìng taluna 'efu oel futa ral lu swey nìfya'o a set lu.

Tswusayona Tsamsiyu · June 22, 2011, 02:53:00 PM

wooopss!! just noticed that one of my corrections is wrong.
in the sentence fte saw wäpivìntxu swawori ayol Topical is actually not needed because there's duration suffix. sorry

.

Alyara Arati · June 22, 2011, 04:00:30 PM

Nìngay lor fìtxan lu faylì'u!

Furia nga pamrel si fìkìngmì, prrte' nìtxan lu ayoengur.

Tanri · June 22, 2011, 04:44:05 PM

Quote from: Tswusayona Tsamsiyu on June 22, 2011, 02:53:00 PM
wooopss!! just noticed that one of my corrections is wrong.
in the sentence fte saw wäpivìntxu swawori ayol Topical is actually not needed because there's duration suffix. sorry .

Not needed, but sounds even better than adposition fpi+

Maybe i can even skip both of them and let only "...swawo ayol". There are so many ways to express one thing.

Quote from: Alyara Arati on June 22, 2011, 04:00:30 PM
Nìngay lor fìtxan lu faylì'u! Furia nga pamrel si fìkìngmì, prrte' nìtxan lu ayoengur.

Tstunwi, ma Alyara. Furia aylì'u oeyä fkeytok fìkìngmì, leiu oeru meuia nìngay.

Tswusayona Tsamsiyu · June 23, 2011, 05:50:47 AM

Quote from: Tanri on June 22, 2011, 04:44:05 PM
Quote from: Tswusayona Tsamsiyu on June 22, 2011, 02:53:00 PM
wooopss!! just noticed that one of my corrections is wrong.
in the sentence fte saw wäpivìntxu swawori ayol Topical is actually not needed because there's duration suffix. sorry .
Not needed, but sounds even better than adposition fpi+
Maybe i can even skip both of them and let only "...swawo ayol". There are so many ways to express one thing.

that's what I meant. fpi is wrong here and topical is not needed too. -o suffix solves the problem.

Tanri · June 23, 2011, 09:05:06 AM

Quote from: Tswusayona Tsamsiyu on June 23, 2011, 05:50:47 AM
that's what I meant. fpi is wrong here and topical is not needed too. -o suffix solves the problem.

Srane, mllte oe ngahu.
Zerok oel futa aylì'u a nga' lì'ut alu "krr", natkenong "tsakrr", lu nì'ìnglìsì *adverbs* - hufwa tstxolì'u alahe verar tstxolì'u krr a oel sung lì'uvit alu "tsa-".
Tatlam lì'uvil alu "-o" sleyku 'ut ateng.

Sireayä mokri · June 27, 2011, 11:49:48 AM

Hufwa faylì'ut li fkol poltxe fìtseng pxaya alo, oe sung san lor leiu nìtxan sìk

And one more correction: koak is used only for people, so it's ayway aspuwin.

Tanri · June 27, 2011, 02:45:48 PM

Quote from: Sireayä mokri on June 27, 2011, 11:49:48 AM
Hufwa faylì'ut li fkol poltxe fìtseng pxaya alo, oe sung san lor leiu nìtxan sìk
And one more correction: koak is used only for people, so it's ayway aspuwin.

Ha "po lu koak" - fpi tute sì swirä arusey, ulte "tsa'u lu spuwin" - fpi u akerusey. Nìtengfya na tìketeng melì'uri alu "po" sì "tsa'u", kefyak?

Tswusayona Tsamsiyu · June 27, 2011, 03:02:12 PM

Quote from: Tanri on June 27, 2011, 02:45:48 PM
Quote from: Sireayä mokri on June 27, 2011, 11:49:48 AM
Hufwa faylì'ut li fkol poltxe fìtseng pxaya alo, oe sung san lor leiu nìtxan sìk
And one more correction: koak is used only for people, so it's ayway aspuwin.
Ha "po lu koak" - ~~fpi~~ tuteri sì swiräri arusey, ulte "tsa'u lu spuwin" - fpi ayu akerusey. Nìtengfya na tìketeng melì'uri alu "po" sì "tsa'u", kefyak?

sran.