Author Topic: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d  (Read 1055 times)

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Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« on: May 16, 2011, 08:37:22 am »
hey everybody. as some of you may know, I've been translating Tenacious D's song "Tribute" for a while and it's now finished.
I had to "loosen up" the grammar (Na'vi allows it in songs) many times to fit the melody but not too much. so you will see some grammatical mistakes. I omitted only words that are understandable from context. of course if you have suggestions tell me. enjoy. ;)

the official video of the song:


the video of the song with lyrics (if you want to listen to how it goes with the melody)

the lyrics of the song (so you don't have to look up the video above)

and now finally my version nìNa'vi
« Last Edit: May 16, 2011, 11:41:38 am by Tswusayona Tsamsiyu »
Nivume Na'vit, fpivìl nìNa'vi, kivame na Na'vi.....
oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

Offline Sireayä mokri

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2011, 09:36:13 am »
Txantsana tìrol lu nìngay ulte txantsana tìralpeng. Aysäfpìl oeyä:

Pamtseo si
Tìrolur aswey
Pamtseo si ‘awvea ‘uru re’ota

There should be a case here.

Fu yom mengey vitrat

Tse oel Kaylìlsì, nìn pumit alahe

I don't think that pumit alahe would suffice for "each other". Maybe oe Kaylsì näpamìn?

Tsawkel atanit tìng
Aysanhìl nìteng

Plltxe san kehe

Ke tsun ziverok, kifkeyä sweya tìrolit, kehe, kehe!

Kifkeyä sweya txantsansa tìrol

Seems too ungrammatical even for a song.

Lam fwa set zene fko rivun ayrolyut sì famtseotut a lu sìltsan fte tsat rivol nìNa'vi :)
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2011, 11:34:19 am »
Pamtseo si
Tìrolur aswey
Pamtseo si ‘awvea ‘uru re’ota

There should be a case here.
like in many other cases I didn't put cases for the song to fit the melody. but I think it could be sung with those cases too so I'll add them.

Fu yom mengey vitrat
fixed.

Tse oel Kaylìlsì, nìn pumit alahe

I don't think that pumit alahe would suffice for "each other". Maybe oe Kaylsì näpamìn?
that's the best way I found to fit the melody, but it could be sung like that too, so changed.

Tsawkel atanit tìng
Aysanhìl nìteng
fixed.

Plltxe san kehe
it won't fit the melody with the san. I dropped san...sìk several other times too because of that. I think that's enough understanable.

Ke tsun ziverok, kifkeyä sweya tìrolit, kehe, kehe!
fixed. works well with the melody.

Kifkeyä sweya txantsansa tìrol

Seems too ungrammatical even for a song.
what's incorrect in that? anyway, I'll just remove txantsan and put kifkey in the topical. that will give me the syllable I need.
Nivume Na'vit, fpivìl nìNa'vi, kivame na Na'vi.....
oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

Offline Sireayä mokri

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2011, 11:53:23 am »
like in many other cases I didn't put cases for the song to fit the melody. but I think it could be sung with those cases too so I'll add them.

I think cases should not be omitted anyway, that would only bring ambiguity.

it won't fit the melody with the san. I dropped san...sìk several other times too because of that. I think that's enough understanable.

You can drop the last e in kehe. In my opinion plltxe san keh sounds even better than plltxe kehe.

what's incorrect in that?

You can't stack adjectives like that. It's either sweya tìrol atxantsan or tìrol alu swey sì txantsan.
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2011, 01:12:38 pm »
it won't fit the melody with the san. I dropped san...sìk several other times too because of that. I think that's enough understanable.

You can drop the last e in kehe. In my opinion plltxe san keh sounds even better than plltxe kehe.
oh I like this. and it's good because in the song they say "nay".

what's incorrect in that?

You can't stack adjectives like that. It's either sweya tìrol atxantsan or tìrol alu swey sì txantsan.
as far as I understand, when I say sweya txantsana tìrol I think of txantsana tìrol as a whole big noun and describe it with swey. otherwise, using a lu will be the only way Na'vi handles many adjectives and it doesn't work well in fast speech in my opinion. it makes it look like a list. and also swey lu fì'u alu txantsana tìrol is too long.
it's the same way with all kinds of fwa which make a big noun and also the same with "big verbs" like tsun tivam (and thus we can use agentive).
for example we know that if we have a noun, an adjective that describes it (or genitive), and also an adposition, we can put the adjective between the other two words. we think of the noun and the adjective as one big noun to which we refer.
those are at least my thoughts.
Nivume Na'vit, fpivìl nìNa'vi, kivame na Na'vi.....
oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

Offline Sireayä mokri

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2011, 01:32:52 pm »
otherwise, using a lu will be the only way Na'vi handles many adjectives and it doesn't work well in fast speech in my opinion.

That's what Frommer said about this case. Two adjectives can "sandwich" a noun, there's no problem here. But what if you have three, four, five etc.? Putting all of them in a row seems awkward at the very least. Personally, I would avoid it even with proper nouns, e.g. mipa eltu lefngap, not *eltu lefngap amip. 
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Offline Alyara Arati

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2011, 03:11:56 pm »
It's not easy trying to fit Na'vi words to a song in English, or any song for that matter.  And I know.  So excellent work!  Now that I've heard "Tribute", it reminds me a little of ;D this song ("The Devil Went Down to Georgia), which may be slightly off topic since I haven't put Na'vi words to it, but oh well. 

The chorus, at least, should be:

txep mì ayram, tul ma evan
vrrtep lu mì srr'ongä tseng
yayo hametsìr tìkxey si
nantang frìp srak? keh ma 'evi

and, no, it doesn't make sense in English either. ;)

« Last Edit: May 17, 2011, 07:59:03 am by Alyara Arati »
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

Offline eejmensenikbenhet

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2011, 03:49:41 pm »
First: Great Translation ;D, I hope you don't mind if I don't look at whether you made mistakes or not because I'm a real skxawng :P
Second: Why Pamrel nìNa'vi nì'aw? Why not Pamtseo nìNa'vi nì'aw?

Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2011, 06:47:52 am »
because it's not a song by me. it's just a translation. I think it doesn't matter where I put this.
Nivume Na'vit, fpivìl nìNa'vi, kivame na Na'vi.....
oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

Offline Blue Elf

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2011, 07:42:23 am »
Great job, ma Tsamsiyu! It's not easy to translate songs even when you don't care about word lengths.
Translation is excellent, I tried reverse translation and it was same as original in about 80-90 percent (question is, who is better - if you in EN->Na'vi direction or me in opposite,  ;D)
Nawma sa'nok ngaru lrrtok soli nìlaw. You are really clever :)
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2011, 09:51:01 am »
nga lu nìtxan tstunwi ma tsmuk. irayo nìtxan nìtxan.
I really like Tenacious D. they sing well and are also funny. me and my friends sing their songs together in school every day. :D :D ;D :P
Nivume Na'vit, fpivìl nìNa'vi, kivame na Na'vi.....
oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

Offline eejmensenikbenhet

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Re: my translation of "Tribute" by Tenacious d
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2011, 10:20:43 am »
because it's not a song by me. it's just a translation. I think it doesn't matter where I put this.
Quote
This board is here for those of you wishing to either write your own or translate already existing songs. These songs must be in Na'vi. Conversation may occur in any language. For those of you wishing to post songs that are not in Na'vi, please post your song(s) in the "Fan Music" section. If your song is completely instrumental (without lyrics), please also refer to "Fan Music". If a topic were to become popular(multiple replies/views); it can be stickied upon request.

Enjoy!
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