Author Topic: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw  (Read 5450 times)

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Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #40 on: October 26, 2014, 03:06:54 pm »
Sirea smukä

Poem for the day of the dead

Ta Vawmataw


Terkup smukan sì smuke
Slä feyä aymokri 'i'awn
Slä feyä ayokvur 'i'awn
Slä feyä sirea lu kxuke.

Fìtrr hiveyn txeptsengpxaw ko.
Yune aysireati.
Yune aymokriti.
Nivume teri tìrey fa fo.

« Last Edit: October 26, 2014, 03:14:46 pm by Vawmataw »
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Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #41 on: October 27, 2014, 06:14:18 am »
Seze

Neytiriru
Ta Vawmataw


Tsaioang lu ean.
Tsaioang lu oeyä 'eylan
Alu oeyä tsmuk a yo'.

Po lu txur frato
Na toruk makto.
Po lu sìltsan frato
Na hona yawnetu.

Ultxa si Sezehu.
Sivunu ngar tsaw.
Slä rä'ä nìn peyä menarit nìyey!
Nice :)
Just small note - ultxa si is not used with hu, not with dative (see examples at Naviteri)

Quote
Terkup smukan sì smuke
Slä mefeyä aymokri 'i'awn
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #42 on: October 27, 2014, 03:57:38 pm »
Irayo. I will note that.

Quote
Terkup smukan sì smuke
Slä mefeyä aymokri 'i'awn
smukan and smuke are the plural form of tsmukan and tsmuke, so it doesn't work here.
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Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #43 on: October 27, 2014, 05:18:06 pm »
Irayo. I will note that.

Quote
Terkup smukan sì smuke
Slä mefeyä aymokri 'i'awn
smukan and smuke are the plural form of tsmukan and tsmuke, so it doesn't work here.
Hell, you are right! How I could overlook it?
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #44 on: October 27, 2014, 08:36:51 pm »
Another long ''text'':

http://tseovawmataw.weebly.com/ayfamrel/snasnomo-a-hahaw

« Last Edit: October 28, 2014, 08:16:02 pm by Vawmataw »
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Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #45 on: October 29, 2014, 06:58:45 am »
Ta Vawmataw

Rä'ä tìng oer stxelit.
Rä'ä tìng oer syulangit.
Oer latsu yewla. (see example here)

Oet za'u tse'a
Ne tseng a mìso,
Tsenga oeri frawzo.
Not sure where oet in second strophe is connected to; seems to tse'a, what should be correct.
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #46 on: October 29, 2014, 03:57:53 pm »
Oe latsu yewla is correct, since I say that I am disappointment.
Quote
seems to tse'a
Yes.
I can write Za'u oet tse'a if it's better.

Ngul
Ta Vawmataw

Taw ngul lu.
Wew lu ya sì kllte.
Ayopinur tìk'ìn lu
Mì atxkxe alahe.
Ayutral lam kerusey.
Set ngul lu tìrey,
Lìyatem srak?
Verse 1: Ngul = gray
Verse 7: Ngul = drab

Edit: quietly adds le- to yewla
« Last Edit: October 30, 2014, 03:51:01 pm by Vawmataw »
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Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #47 on: November 01, 2014, 10:25:17 am »
After Oe zene livatem nìmun, I should write much less poems. I feel that you're (plural you) only there to correct my mistakes since your enthusiasm is greatly attenuated. I must realize that I'm enjoying alone my poetry and respect that. Anyway, I have written so many poems.

No, I won't give up. ;)

All my poetry (including the poems that don't appear there), proverbs and quotes are available on my website (if you're really interested).
« Last Edit: November 01, 2014, 10:30:25 am by Vawmataw »
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Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #48 on: December 22, 2014, 10:40:20 pm »
Hello everyone! I have created more poems since November. I should post some of them soon: Two of them will be posted after the results of the contest are announced.

For the moment, here is my Christmas ''poem''. It is very simple.

Ftxozä

Ayftxozä zera'u,
Oer soaia ke lu.
Pame'un futa hum oe
Sä'ohu tìnusìnä
A 'etnawmì oeyä.

Sanhì heyn pxaw oe.
Tì'awm si oe,
Piak si aystxeliru feyä
Ulte maw peng fayluta
Ma tsmukya lefpoma ftxozä!

There is also a poem about the death:
Ci-gît

Fìtseng klltxay po,
 Menari okupäo.
Tokx 'i 'awn klltehu.
Tirea sì vitra Eywahu.

Nayìn tì'i'avay krrä
Tsengit aysanhìyä,
Tawìl pot hayawnu
Ulte pol ayngati.

Txe'lan piak sleru.

I also addded a strophe to Kifkey a txewlukel I wanted to submit it to the contest, but it doesn't respect the themes.
...
Sop oeyä vitra ftu zeswa.
Oel lok Eywat sì tawit.
Oe tswayon vaykrr tìtxen si.
...
See Kifkey a txewluke for the rest of the poem.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2014, 10:49:27 pm by Vawmataw »
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Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #49 on: December 23, 2014, 12:10:28 pm »
nice to see new poems!
I just do not understand well two lines:
- Ma smukur lefpoma ftxozä!
As ma is vocative marker, noun can't take any ending, you probably mean: Ma smuktu, lefpoma ftxozä, isn't it?
- Menari okupäo
Eyes under milk? What you mean by this?
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #50 on: December 23, 2014, 12:15:10 pm »
okup = milky way
smukur -> smukya


Just fixed a verb in the poem Ftxozä.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2014, 12:27:49 pm by Vawmataw »
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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #51 on: December 23, 2014, 05:21:46 pm »
okup = milky way
Ahh! But I'm afraid it is too shortened, who will understand? Fya'o okupä sounds funny and too long and literal, but helps more to get intended meaning
smukur -> smukya
if -ya is meant as collective vocative marker (Mawey Navi'ya!), I'm not sure if plural is correct. I'd prefer here standard form ma (ay)smuk. But it is poetry, so, I think it is fine
How do you rate my work? Please be honest. ;)
I like it :) I'm not fan of poetry in my native tongue or English, but in Na'vi it is different. And when author tries to create rhymes, it requires some appreciation :)
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #52 on: December 23, 2014, 10:48:50 pm »
Irayo! :)
Smukya became tsmukya. I hope it is correct.
Quote
Ahh! But I'm afraid it is too shortened, who will understand? Fya'o okupä sounds funny and too long and literal, but helps more to get intended meaning
I think it requires some analyze. If you understand the context, you might find the meaning of this word. But maybe you're right.
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Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #53 on: December 30, 2014, 09:32:09 am »
As the results of the contest are coming, I will post a poem that I published on my website at the beginning of the month.

Sanhì

Ayi'enit zamunge
Fte reykivol oe
Ketsuktiama sanhìeo
Ulte rivol vaykrr 'ìp fo.

Aysanhìl oet yune
Txeptsengpxaw nìfya'o a fnu.
Fol oet yune,
Tìng mikyun vitraru
A lefpom sì sngumluke.

Krra zayene hivum kifkeyftu,
Oe new sivalew sanhìhu.
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Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #54 on: December 31, 2014, 03:03:47 pm »
A'awve

Lu 'ewan kifkey,
Lu yrr kifkey.
Wrrpa lu apxa,
Fra'u lu zey.
Ayoe lu olo' a'awve.

Mì tayo tul ayoe,
Starsìm sì taron,
Aysanhìt taron
Ulte rol fpi sawä sutan.

Olo' a'awve ayoe lu,
'Rrtayä sute sì eylan.
Yafkeyk txopu ke sleyku.
Tìrey lu tìsopä skxom.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2014, 03:14:55 pm by Vawmataw »
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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #55 on: December 31, 2014, 03:11:38 pm »
Lora way alor! :D

Ulte rol fpi tsawä sutan. /lenition

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Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #56 on: December 31, 2014, 03:14:44 pm »
Thanks! :D
« Last Edit: December 31, 2014, 05:31:19 pm by Vawmataw »
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Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #57 on: December 31, 2014, 05:30:43 pm »
Here is my winning poem:
Oet yune

Ayi'enit zamunge
Fte reykivol fa tirea
Eo sanhì sì Eywa
Ulte rivol vaykrr srer tsawke.

Vitrautraleo heyn oe.
Krra srer atan txonä,
Pam hum ftu kxa oeyä.

Aysanhìl oet yune
Tsengio nìfya'o a fnu.
Eywal oet yune,
Tìng mikyun lefpoma 'upxareru
Sì sngumluke a vitraru.
Tìme'em syamaw
Ayatokirina'ru
A srew oehu.

Krra zayene hivum kifkeyftu,
Oe neiew sivalew Eywahu.
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Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #58 on: January 03, 2015, 10:46:54 pm »
This is the state of my soul right now.

Txewro

Txewro tsengä aysanhìyä,
Txewro ayunilä oeyä,
Txewro oeyä tìreyä...
Oe kä Tawne.
Ayngari payey oe
Vaykrr 'ìp krr.
Oe ke fkeytok nulkrr,
Syo oe lu sì 'efu.
Ma eylan kìyevame...
Serop ne kifkey alahe.
Oeyä tokxit hivawnu.
Other versions (prose): http://tseovawmataw.weebly.com/ayfamrel/txewro
« Last Edit: January 03, 2015, 10:51:07 pm by Vawmataw »
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Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Oeyä ayfamrel - Vawmataw
« Reply #59 on: January 04, 2015, 09:41:19 pm »
Same inspiration.
Hivifwo

Mì ayunil fu
Sanhìfkip aketsuktiam,
Hivifwo oehu.
Mì hosmana seng fu
Mesngawpayvimìkam,
Hivifwo oehu.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2015, 09:55:11 pm by Vawmataw »
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