Our World is One - A short poem about Pandora

[Eana Ketuwong]

I am pretty confident in this one, and I wrote it while I was with my friend. He makes me happy, and I felt this was appropriate for the moment. It is about the connectedness of Pandora. Please tell me if there are grammar errors or spelling mistakes. Below it is a roughly translated version, in which I wrote first then I put it into Na'vi.

Irayo,
Eana Ketuwong

Ayoengyä kifkey lu 'awpo
Ayoeng lu ke ke'aw
Ayoeng plltxe, ulte ayoeng way si
Niwotx tsun stawm
Ayoengìl srew poeyä txonmì
(Ulte) Niwotx rikx hu ayoengit

Our world is one.
We are not divided
We speak and we sing
All can hear
We dance in her night
(And) all move with us
We are one
Ayoeng lu 'awpo.

['Itan Atxur]

That's beautiful. I'm no grammar Nazi so I can't help you much there . Love the poem though!

[Puvomun]

"Poem" alor!

Ayoengyä kifkey lu 'awpo
Ayoeng lu ke ke'aw
Ayoeng plltxe, ulte ayoeng way si
Niwotx tsun stivawnm
Ayoengìl srew poeyät txonit
(Ulte) Niwotxìl 'ärìp hu ayoengit

I found a few small thingies, perhaps there are more but I say: well done!

[Alyara Arati]

I am pretty confident in this one, and I wrot it while I was with my boy that's a friend(: He makes me happy, and I felt this was appropriate for the moment. It is about the connectedness of Pandora. Please tell me if there are grammar errors or spelling mistakes. Below it is a roughly translated version, in which I wrote first then I put it into Na'vi.

Irayo,
Eana Ketuwong

Ayoengyä kifkey lu 'awpo
Ayoeng lu ke ke'aw
Ayoeng plltxe, ulte ayoeng way si
Niwotx tsun stawm
Ayoengìl srew poeyät txonmì
(Ulte) Niwotxìl 'ärìp rikx hu ayoengit

Our world is one.
We are not divided
We speak and we sing
All can hear
We dance in her night
(And) all move with us
We are one
Ayoeng lu 'awpo.

It is truly lovely.  Seysonìltsan!  Just a couple of things: srew is intransitive, so you don't use cases with it, but for "in" you want mì.  Also 'arìp is "to move something", where rikx is "to move as in change position", and it, too is intransitive.  Aside from one typo, the rest looks great to me!

[Blue Elf]

Txantsan! Very nice! Welcome in club of Na'vi writers (bad joke, I can't count myself among these)

Some corrections (as Puvomun found, just some explanation):
in 2nd line I'd write: Ayoeng ke lu ke'aw (ke must be before verb. Not sure about ke'aw, but can not find better word - nì'awtu doesn't fit best here)
in 4th line: Nìwotx tsun stivawm (tsun is modal verb and controlledverb takes subjunctive)
Other mistakes were found by Alyara Arati.

[Tanri]

Fì*poem* lu txantsan nìngay, ma Eana Ketuwong.
Tsulfä ke lu mì hìmtxan aylì'uä, tup mì ral. Nìlaw ngal omum futa ralpeng säfpìlit ngeyä sìltsan.

Lu oeru 'awa säplltxevi nì'aw:
Lì'uri alu "nìwotx", oel fpìl futa awnga ke tsun sivar tsat na tstxolì'u, taluna tsaw lu *adverb* nì'aw.
Sweylu txo ngal sivung lì'ut alu "frapo", natkenong "Frapo nìwotx tsun stivawm".

Spoiler

Eana Ketuwong, your poem is really great.
There is no mastery in quantity of words, instead of meaning. It is clear that you know how to tell your thoughts well.

I have only one comment:
Regarding "nìwotx", i think that we cannot use this as a noun, because it's only adverb.
Would be best to add a word "frapo", for example "Frapo nìwotx tsun stivawm".

[Sireayä mokri]

Frapohu a li pamrel soli, oe mllte; lu txantsan    

[Eana Ketuwong]

Thank you all...
And yes, I've heard it said that we are not all perfect at Na'vi; thank you for editing the errors. All is appreciated, and the only times I can actually write is when I'm with my boyfriend <3
Again, thank you! I'm still learning, and I'll get better with time. 

[Puvomun]

Again, thank you! I'm still learning, and I'll get better with time. 

Most of us are

[Eana Ketuwong]

Again, thank you! I'm still learning, and I'll get better with time. 

Most of us are

That I think we can all agree with.