Author Topic: Pamrel ta Toliman  (Read 20178 times)

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Offline Tirea Aean

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #40 on: August 07, 2015, 09:50:56 am »
HRH #Tailslap finds its way even to the /pamrel-ninavi-niaw board. ;D

Nice work here, guys. :D

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Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #41 on: August 07, 2015, 09:56:01 am »
HRH #Tailslap finds its way even to the /pamrel-ninavi-niaw board. ;D
;D ;D ;D


Nice work here, guys. :D
Irayo ma Tirea Aean  :D

Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #42 on: January 05, 2016, 05:36:15 pm »
I wrote next poem after very long time. It's only very short poem.

Poem is named Nusrra Tanhì - Glowing Star and is about bright Sirius star (name Sirius is derived from ancient Greek and also means "glowing star")


Nusrra tanhì

Txonkrr a lu txawew
Io atxkxe a lu hoet
Txanatana tanhì nrr
Mì tonä taw avawm

Teyra tanhì a lu txanatan
Äo tawä taronyu
Teyra tanhì a nrr nìngyen
Io hoeta hertxayo

Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #43 on: January 05, 2016, 05:54:45 pm »
Sìltsan :D
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Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #44 on: January 06, 2016, 05:01:07 pm »
Irayo ma Vawmataw  :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Nì'awtu äo sanhì

Tengkrr tsawke nìk'ong kllkä.
Ayyayo sngä'i rivol tìrolit txon'ongä
Tengkrr za'u txon avawm
Frapo hum slä oe fìtseng 'ì'awn

Oel kllkxem ro kllte nì'awtu
Hu kosmana kifkey sanhìyä
Oel tse'a  kifkeyt a txewluke

Oe kllxem nì'awtu äo sanhìyä taw
Slä oe ke lu txanlom
Oel tse'a pxeya kifkeyt a lìm
Io oeyä re'o

Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #45 on: January 07, 2016, 12:23:56 pm »
Lora meway, ma Toliman, seysonìltsan!

Just two small fixes:
...Teyra tanhì a nrr ningyen (nì + ingyem = ningyen, check in dictionary)

Oe kllkxem ro hllte nì'awtu (that strange lenition, which puts me down too :))
Maybe we could debate, whether *txanlom is or is not inner feeling (so replace lu with 'efu), but it's hard to resolve. IMO both is fine.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2016, 02:15:43 pm by Blue Elf »
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #46 on: January 07, 2016, 12:33:57 pm »
Irayo ma Blue Elf  :)

Maybe we could debate, whether *txanlom is or is not inner feeling (so replace lu with 'efu), but it's hard to resolve. IMO both is fine.
Nìngay
'efu txanlom is good idea too and it sounds good too. But as you wrote, it's hard to resolve.

Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #47 on: January 07, 2016, 07:30:30 pm »
Seysonìltsan ma Toliman!

Oel kllkxem ro hllte nì'awtu (that strange lenition, which puts me down too :))
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Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #48 on: January 08, 2016, 02:17:49 pm »
Seysonìltsan ma Toliman!

Oel kllkxem ro hllte nì'awtu (that strange lenition, which puts me down too :))
seems I forgot to use ovestriked font... kllkxem is of course intransitive.
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #49 on: January 08, 2016, 07:29:20 pm »
Hmm ... black hole - weird theme from poem, but why no ...


Layona tsongropx/ropx

Ingyenga'a tsenge ro saw atxewluke
Tsenga 'awlie 'awa tanhì tolerkup
Tsenga ayoengl set ketsun nivìn ke'ut
Slä fìtsenge lu 'uo a lu nìngay fyole

Lehhrapa tsenge ro saw atxewluke
Tsenga tìwin atanä ke ley nìwotx
Tsenga ngipl sì krrl tatep ralit
Slä fì'u tsun livu ropx nemfa kifkey alahe



Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #50 on: January 09, 2016, 02:13:12 pm »
Well, you are probably first poet writing about this thing :) Congratulation!

There is mistake, which causes difficulties to understand:
Tsenga ngipìl sì krrìl tatep ralit
-ìl can be surprising after rr, but it's ok, rr works as vowel in syllable structure, but when adding case ending, it behaves as consonant.

and:
Tsenga ayoengl set ke   tsun nivìn ke'ut
In modal construction with this word order we do not use agentive (which should be correctly ayoengal)

But good poem. Just theme is somehow unusual :)
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #51 on: January 09, 2016, 02:17:51 pm »
Irayo ma Blue Elf  :)

Well, you are probably first poet writing about this thing :)

... Just theme is somehow unusual :)
I know   :);D

Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #52 on: January 15, 2016, 08:23:18 pm »
My next try about poem. Theme is not such unusually as in previous poem ...

Palulukan tawä

Tengkrr wewa zìsìkrr 'i'a
Ulte sanga zìsìkr za'u nìk'ong
Tsawla palulukan tawä srer li
Mì tonä taw avawm

Palulukanä sanhì nrr nìkxap
Tìfnunga'a atxkxeio txonä
Keng tawä taronyu atxantur
Tìng tseng mì saw txonä

Eana txe'lan palulukanä
Txanatana tanhì a lu ean
Äo ingyenga'a atan fìtanhìyä
Kosmana kifkeyt oel tse'a mì saw

Little description:
« Last Edit: January 15, 2016, 08:53:10 pm by Toliman »

Offline Vawmataw

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #53 on: January 15, 2016, 08:47:42 pm »
Nice one!

(Note: Pay attention to your lenitions)
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Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #54 on: January 15, 2016, 08:54:19 pm »
Thanks  :)

(Note: Pay attention to your lenitions)
:-[ this is my very common mistake

Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #55 on: April 20, 2016, 02:49:03 pm »
So there is my next "astro-poem" (after longer time again).

This poem is about very known and nice star cluster Pleiades which is called also as "seven sisters".

Poem is called as Kinäa tsmuke (seven sisters) or Olo' sanhìyä aean (Clan of blue stars)
("Clan of blue stars" is my own name for this, this cluster is composed from very obviously blue stars)



Kinäa tsmuke
(olo' sanhìyä aean)


Krra za'u wewa ayton a lu txana krr
Io tìfnunga'a atxkxe txonä
Rofa kilvan tawä a lu narlor
Oel tse'a kosmana sna'oti sanhìyä

Kinäa tanhì aean a lu txanatan
Sì pxaya tanhì ahì'i a lu aean
Kosmana snatanhìtsyìp
Mì ingyenga'a pìwopxtsìp

Krra za'u sanga zìsìkrr a lu sìltsan
Olo' sanhìyä aean 'ìp nìk'ong
Ro sawkeyä atan a lu txantur
Slä fìsanhì tamätxaw ye'rìn nìmun
« Last Edit: April 21, 2016, 10:25:53 am by Toliman »

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #56 on: April 29, 2016, 02:29:01 pm »
Nice poem, good work!
Just I'm not sure whether there's small mistake in last line of  he last verse.

Current version says: ... but this star returned in short time again

But I think it should say: ... but these stars will return soon again
Slä faysanhì tayätxaw ye'rìn nìmun

or did i miss something?
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #57 on: April 29, 2016, 02:42:56 pm »
Irayo ma Blue Elf  :)

Nice poem, good work!
Just I'm not sure whether there's small mistake in last line of  he last verse.

Current version says: ... but this star returned in short time again

But I think it should say: ... but these stars will return soon again
Slä faysanhì tayätxaw ye'rìn nìmun

or did i miss something?

OMG, my mistake  ... it is really mistake, I really wanted write But these stars will return soon again

So last line is correct as you write: Slä faysanhì tayätxaw ye'rìn nìmun



Offline Toliman

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #58 on: June 27, 2018, 09:02:08 am »
Such long time since I wrote my last poem nìNa'vi ... I almost forgot that I tried create them once...  ;D
So there is one new:

Kerusikxa tanhì

Oeyä uran sop ka txampay ahoet
Ka hoeta txampay a lu apxa
Äo txonä taw a lu txewluke
Oe sop nì'awtu ka txampay txonmì avawm

Pxaya tanhì nìtxanatan nrr mì saw txonä
Lam fwa tsaysanhì rikx ka taw fratxon
Slä 'awa tanhì ke rusikx kawkrr
Tsatanhìl wintxu salewfyati ne kelku oeyä

Oeyä uran sop nì'awtu ka txampay
Hu pxaya tanhì atxanatan io re'o oeyä
Hu ayweopx alesyuratan pxaw uran oeyä
Oel tse'a Kerusikxa tanhìt nìsìlpey

Oel tse'a nìsìlpey Kerusikxa tanhìt
Oe tse'a ne kelku oeyä a lìm

« Last Edit: June 27, 2018, 09:13:51 am by Toliman »

Offline Tirea Aean

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Re: Pamrel ta Toliman
« Reply #59 on: June 28, 2018, 03:38:07 pm »
Tsaw lor leiu! It's great to see new writing here ma Toliman :D

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