Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä

[Txura Rolyu]

I wrote the poem for a girl I admire.     I had my friend Txonä Rolyu help me translate this one and I am very greatful for his help.




Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä

Lu tìlor a menarit spe'e.
Lu ngeyä tireal a oeyä txe'lanit spe'e.

Nìrangal nga tsirvun livu oeyä mepunmì nìmun;
   Oe tsun ngeyä keyit 'ivampi,
   Ngeyä menarit alor tsive'a.
             Fya'o a ngneyä nikre angim mepunsìn heyn sunu oeru.
             Oeyä mesyokxur leiu hewne.

Lu tìlor a menarit spe'e.
Lu ngeyä tireal a oeyä txe'lanit spe'e.

Lu ngaru txe'lan a'ewan ulte ngeyä tireati ke'ul yän a fi'ul, oeti 'eykefeiu nitram.
   Lu nga txantslusam srekrr ayzìsìt ngeyä.
   Ayfya'ot Eywayä nga tsun ralpiveng,
   Ngeyä kifkeyit nga tsun tslivam.
   Sìlpey oe tsnì tsawä hapxìtu tsun slivu oe trro.

Lu tìlor a menarit spe'e.
Lu ngeyä tireal a oeyä txe'lanit spe'e.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
From Your Beloved

It is the beauty that captures the eyes.
It is your spirit that captures my heart.

If only you could be in my arms again;
             I could touch your face,
             See your beautiful eyes.
             I like the way your long hair rests on your arms,
             It is soft to my hands.

It is the beauty that captures the eyes.
It is your spirit that captures my heart.

You have a young heart and nothing ties your spirit down, which makes me happy.
   You are wise ahead of your years.
   You can interpret the will of Eywa,
   You can understand your world.
   I hope that someday I can be a part of it.

It is the beauty that captures the eyes.
It is your spirit that captures my heart.

[Alyara Arati]

This is absolutely gorgeous!  Welcome to Pamrel nìNa'vi nì'aw!  I'm so pleased to see you here, and with such a well crafted and touching piece of writing!

Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem with us, and I hope that someday soon you'll have a chance to share it with the girl who inspired it!  There's only one thing that I must point out; you have a repeating typo:  tìlor is beauty, tìrol is song.

['Oma Tirea]

Also, nìrangal and ngim are misspelled.

Anyway +1

[Txura Rolyu]

Alright I editted to fix my typos. I am not used to writing in Na'vi. Also the girl in question did recieve is today and I asked if I could post it here. She said it was alright so long as I credited Txonä Rolyu. I owe all the translating to him.

The poem was taken well, just so you all know. I hope that from where we are we can move forward at some point. 

[Syulang]

beatiful poem! I'm sure she was very flattered? 

[Plumps]

Nìngay, lora pamrel atxanatan!

Still one minor mistake: it's lu ngeyä tirea a oeyä txe'lanit spe'e – no agentive necessary since the transitive verb spe'e appears in the subordinate clause.

[Sireayä mokri]

Sunu oer nìngay

[Kamean]

Pamrel atxantsan nìngay!

+1

[Seze Mune]

So proud, I am.  You and Txonä make a heckuva team, ma Txura.  Please make this only the beginning of a great series of poems and songs.  Who knows but that some of it might find its eventual way into an Avatar sequel? Anything is possible....

[Kamean]

So proud, I am.  You and Txonä make a heckuva team, ma Txura.  Please make this only the beginning of a great series of poems and songs.  Who knows but that some of it might find its eventual way into an Avatar sequel? Anything is possible....

Nìngay

[Txura Rolyu]

I really hope that I can see something of mine in the sequels

[Blue Elf]

Seysonìltsan, really good poem! And also well formatted, I think even graphic look can make text better.

Some notes:
- as Plumps already said, in Lu ngeyä tireal a oeyä ... agentative is not needed (previous line is similar and it not uses agentative, so ....)
- in Fya'o a ngneyä nikre angim mepunsìn heyn sunu oeru - small typo and instead of heyn (sit) I'd use tsurokx (rest - as written in translation)

Well, if it's your first text nìNa'vi, hmmm, hats to the floor, even with help of Txonä Rolyu

Ulte tìyawnìri mengeyä etrìpa syayvi!

[Tanri]

WOU!


Faylì'u leiu lor fìtxan, ulte nga pamrel soli nìltsan nìngay.
Nga zola'u ne fìhapxì tìpängkxotsengä nìfya'o a lu txantsan nang. Zola'u nìprrte', ma Txura Rolyu!
Tuté a tolel fìpamrelit, zene 'ivefu nitram, am'aluke. Rangal oe tsnì slivu seykxel tìyawn mengeyä, tì'i'avay krrä.