Author Topic: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä  (Read 1011 times)

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Offline Txura Rolyu

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Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« on: September 02, 2011, 05:49:16 pm »
I wrote the poem for a girl I admire.   :-[   I had my friend Txonä Rolyu help me translate this one and I am very greatful for his help.




Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä

Lu tìlor a menarit spe’e.
Lu ngeyä tireal a oeyä txe’lanit spe’e.

 Nìrangal nga tsirvun livu oeyä mepunmì nìmun;
   Oe tsun ngeyä keyit ‘ivampi,
   Ngeyä menarit alor tsive’a.
              Fya’o a ngneyä nikre angim mepunsìn heyn sunu oeru.
              Oeyä mesyokxur leiu hewne.

Lu tìlor a menarit spe’e.
Lu ngeyä tireal a oeyä txe’lanit spe’e.

Lu ngaru txe’lan a’ewan ulte ngeyä tireati ke’ul yän a fi’ul, oeti ‘eykefeiu nitram.
   Lu nga txantslusam srekrr ayzìsìt ngeyä.
   Ayfya’ot Eywayä nga tsun ralpiveng,
   Ngeyä kifkeyit nga tsun tslivam.
   Sìlpey oe tsnì tsawä hapxìtu tsun slivu oe trro.

Lu tìlor a menarit spe’e.
Lu ngeyä tireal a oeyä txe’lanit spe’e.
_________________________________________________ ______________________________________
From Your Beloved

It is the beauty that captures the eyes.
It is your spirit that captures my heart.

If only you could be in my arms again;
              I could touch your face,
              See your beautiful eyes.
              I like the way your long hair rests on your arms,
              It is soft to my hands.

It is the beauty that captures the eyes.
It is your spirit that captures my heart.

You have a young heart and nothing ties your spirit down, which makes me happy.
   You are wise ahead of your years.
   You can interpret the will of Eywa,
   You can understand your world.
   I hope that someday I can be a part of it.

It is the beauty that captures the eyes.
It is your spirit that captures my heart.

« Last Edit: September 03, 2011, 12:02:47 am by Txura Rolyu »
Neytiri: Now you choose your woman. This you must feel inside. If she also chooses you, move quick like I showed.
Jake: How will I know if she chooses me?
Neytiri: She will try to kill you.
Jake: Outstanding. *takes out an ikran-catcher and walks through hometree looking for women*

Offline Alyara Arati

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2011, 11:46:55 pm »
This is absolutely gorgeous!  Welcome to Pamrel nìNa'vi nì'aw!  I'm so pleased to see you here, and with such a well crafted and touching piece of writing! :D

Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem with us, and I hope that someday soon you'll have a chance to share it with the girl who inspired it!  There's only one thing that I must point out; you have a repeating typo:  tìlor is beauty, tìrol is song. ;)
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

Offline 'Oma Tirea

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2011, 11:50:55 pm »
Also, nìrangal and ngim are misspelled.

Anyway +1 :D

[img]http://swokaikran.skxawng.lu/sigbar/nwotd.php?p=2b[/img]

ÌTXTSTXRR!!

Srake serar le'Ìnglìsìa lì'fyayä aylì'ut?  Nari si älofoniru rutxe!!

Offline Txura Rolyu

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2011, 12:04:16 am »
Alright I editted to fix my typos. I am not used to writing in Na'vi. Also the girl in question did recieve is today and I asked if I could post it here. She said it was alright so long as I credited Txonä Rolyu. I owe all the translating to him.

The poem was taken well, just so you all know. I hope that from where we are we can move forward at some point.  :)
Neytiri: Now you choose your woman. This you must feel inside. If she also chooses you, move quick like I showed.
Jake: How will I know if she chooses me?
Neytiri: She will try to kill you.
Jake: Outstanding. *takes out an ikran-catcher and walks through hometree looking for women*

Offline Syulang

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2011, 05:18:45 am »
beatiful poem! I'm sure she was very flattered?  ;)
Oel ayngati kameie ma oeyä aysmukan sì aysmuke ulte Eywa ayngahu livu

munea kifkey, 'awa soaia

Offline Plumps

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2011, 05:50:35 am »
Nìngay, lora pamrel atxanatan! :)

Still one minor mistake: it’s lu ngeyä tirea a oeyä txe’lanit spe’e – no agentive necessary since the transitive verb spe’e appears in the subordinate clause.

Offline Sireayä mokri

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2011, 08:43:52 am »
Sunu oer nìngay :)
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Offline Kamean

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2011, 10:48:58 am »
Pamrel atxantsan nìngay! :)

+1 ;)
Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.


Offline Seze Mune

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2011, 01:24:54 pm »
So proud, I am.  You and Txonä make a heckuva team, ma Txura.  Please make this only the beginning of a great series of poems and songs.  Who knows but that some of it might find its eventual way into an Avatar sequel? Anything is possible....

Offline Kamean

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2011, 01:41:27 pm »
So proud, I am.  You and Txonä make a heckuva team, ma Txura.  Please make this only the beginning of a great series of poems and songs.  Who knows but that some of it might find its eventual way into an Avatar sequel? Anything is possible....
Nìngay :)
Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.


Offline Txura Rolyu

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2011, 02:36:39 pm »
I really hope that I can see something of mine in the sequels :)
Neytiri: Now you choose your woman. This you must feel inside. If she also chooses you, move quick like I showed.
Jake: How will I know if she chooses me?
Neytiri: She will try to kill you.
Jake: Outstanding. *takes out an ikran-catcher and walks through hometree looking for women*

Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2011, 03:21:44 pm »
Seysonìltsan, really good poem! And also well formatted, I think even graphic look can make text better.

Some notes:
- as Plumps already said, in Lu ngeyä tireal a oeyä ... agentative is not needed (previous line is similar and it not uses agentative, so ....)
- in Fya’o a ngneyä nikre angim mepunsìn heyn sunu oeru - small typo and instead of heyn (sit) I'd use tsurokx (rest - as written in translation)

Well, if it's your first text nìNa'vi, hmmm, hats to the floor, even with help of Txonä Rolyu :)

Ulte tìyawnìri mengeyä etrìpa syayvi!
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Tanri

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Re: Ta Yawnetu Ngeyä
« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2011, 04:41:27 pm »
WOU!
 :)

Faylì’u leiu lor fìtxan, ulte nga pamrel soli nìltsan nìngay.
Nga zola’u ne fìhapxì tìpängkxotsengä nìfya’o a lu txantsan nang. Zola’u nìprrte’, ma Txura Rolyu!
Tuté a tolel fìpamrelit, zene ’ivefu nitram, am’aluke. Rangal oe tsnì slivu seykxel tìyawn mengeyä, tì’i’avay krrä.
Anything published exlusively on Discord (and not in this forum) does not exist...

 

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