Ayoengeyä Kelku Afwel. (Our Broken Home)

[Neyn'ite Te Tsahìk Txeptsyìp'ite]

(this is most likely without a doubt in my mind to have many errors in Na'vi, but if you tell me, PM it so I can fix it and seem to know Na'vi better than I do HRH )
-- with help from Blue Elf, I believe most mistakes have been corrected. but if not, PM me of course :]

aysaw lu ngul slä aysa'u lu lor nìtxan poeru.
fwela ayutral na aytepìva zerup pxel herwì
nìkeftxo, feyä aynarit tse'a feyä kelkuti mì aytep
krr a 'evenge a'ewan tsole'a Nawma Sa'nokit, poltxe Eywa san fra'u layu tam sìk
slä tolatep lrrtokit 'evengeyä...
tsakrr poel olomum futa peyä lrrtok tul neto.
peseng tul ne aytepìva peyä soaiä a lu lom poeru,
ulte poel omum futa te'lan soaiä fnu set...

hope you enjoyed. apologies for the mistakes I know are in there, haha. I didn't even use a translator for this so some words could be wrong, not just grammar or sentence structure. remember, PM me the corrected mistakes instead of posting them here, rutxe, ma oeyä aysmukan sì aysmuke.

I have drawn a character, also, for this poem- the little girl, now grown up. I plan to write a short story about her and post up my drawing once we get the scanner working.

[Blue Elf]

Well, I've sent PM with corrections to you. What I forgot is title - it should be Ayoengeyä Kelku Afwel.
As we are in music section - does it exist music for this or is it just text?
If it is not intended for singing, maybe Pamrel nìNa'vi nì'aw section is better place. Just though - you can ask mod to move it, if you can.
Text is not bad, I think, although seems to be sad enough...

[Kamean]

Pamrel asìltsan.

[Neyn'ite Te Tsahìk Txeptsyìp'ite]

irayo; if a mod can move it, please do :]

and I am updating corrections now ^^

[hemmond]

Okay... Seemed to be a poem, so moved to more suitable section.

[Sireayä mokri]

I've found couple of minor mistakes, so I'll post them here:

feyä aynaritl tse'a feyä kelkuti a mì aytep
krr a 'evengel a'ewan tsole'a Nawma Sa'nokit, poltxe Eywa san fra'u layu tam zayo sìk

Seysonìltsan

[Alyara Arati]

fwela ayutral na aytepìva zerup pxel herwì

Did you mean to say "broken trees as ashes fall like snow" ?

Or "broken trees as ashes fall like snow"?

It's sad, but it's strong, especially since this is an early effort for you!  I've seen your Na'vi girl and await the story.