Author Topic: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...  (Read 927 times)

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Offline Puvomun

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Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« on: June 15, 2011, 03:13:28 am »
Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...

Swaw a ngal tse'a keyit
Swaw a ngal stawm mokrit

Tsa'u lu swaw a nga ftang tìtse'a ulte sngä'i tìkame
Nga sngä'i tsive'a kxamlä ngeyä txe'lan
Ngeyä menari sung tì'efuru.
Lrrtok sung tì'efuru nì'ul.

Tsakrr lu swaw a ngal omum san Nga yawne lu oer.
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2011, 04:02:51 am »
Txansana poem, ma Puvomun! I like it.

some comments:
I'm sure if you can use this: Tsa'u lu swaw a nga ftang tìtse'a ulte sngä'i tìkame.
Either use standard modal construction without object: Tsa'u lu swaw a nga ftang tsive'a ulte sngä'i kivame or it should be rephrased, something like:
Tsa'u lu swaw a nga tìftang si tìtse'ar ulte sngä'i tìkamer

Nga sngä'i tsive'a fa ngeyä txe'lan
Ngeyä menaril sung tì'efut.
Lrrtokìl sung sì'efut nì'ul.


In the last sentence, omum is transitive, but object is replaced by direct speech, so probably ngal should be nga, or whole sentence should be changed like:
Tsakrr lu swaw a ngal omum futa nga yawne lu oer.

Well, I hope I wasn't too wrong  :)
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Puvomun

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2011, 04:16:17 am »
Nga sngä'i tsive'a fa ngeyä txe'lan

Guess what... fa is what I had in the first place and decided to change it...

Ngeyä menaril sung tì'efut.
Lrrtokìl sung sì'efut nì'ul.[/i]

Wiya, I should have caught that with sung...

Irayo, ma Blue Elf!
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2011, 05:52:30 am »
wou. I really like this one. nice one.
agree with all of Blue Elf's corrections.

Quote
Txansana poem, ma Puvomun! I like it.

some comments:
I'm sure if you can use this: Tsa'u lu swaw a nga ftang tìtse'a ulte sngä'i tìkame.
Either use standard modal construction without object: Tsa'u lu swaw a nga ftang tsive'a ulte sngä'i kivame or it should be rephrased, something like:
Tsa'u lu swaw a nga tìftang si tìtse'ar ulte sngä'i tìkamer
sngä'i is modal so you have to use it with <iv>. and than it's better to do so with ftang too.

Quote
Nga sngä'i tsive'a fa ngeyä txe'lan
I wouldn't say it's better cause it's the only choice. kxamlä is "through" physically.
Nivume Na'vit, fpivìl nìNa'vi, kivame na Na'vi.....
oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

Offline Puvomun

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2011, 06:28:42 am »
wou. I really like this one. nice one.
agree with all of Blue Elf's corrections.

Quote
Txansana poem, ma Puvomun! I like it.

some comments:
I'm sure if you can use this: Tsa'u lu swaw a nga ftang tìtse'a ulte sngä'i tìkame.
Either use standard modal construction without object: Tsa'u lu swaw a nga ftang tsive'a ulte sngä'i kivame or it should be rephrased, something like:
Tsa'u lu swaw a nga tìftang si tìtse'ar ulte sngä'i tìkamer
sngä'i is modal so you have to use it with <iv>. and than it's better to do so with ftang too.

Quote
Nga sngä'i tsive'a fa ngeyä txe'lan
I wouldn't say it's better cause it's the only choice. kxamlä is "through" physically.

Irayo si ngaru nìteng, ma 'eylan. I am glad there are not more errors in this, and most of them stupid ones...  :-X
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Offline Tswusayona Tsamsiyu

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2011, 06:37:17 am »
of course. one can with no doubt now say that you are a pretty advanced Na'vi speaker. ;)
Nivume Na'vit, fpivìl nìNa'vi, kivame na Na'vi.....
oer fko syaw tswusayona tsamsiyu

Offline Tirea Aean

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2011, 07:52:19 am »
Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...

Swaw a ngal tse'a keyit
Swaw a ngal stawm mokrit

Tsakrr lu swaw a nga ftang tsive'a ulte sngä'i kivame
Nga sngä'i tsive'a fa ngeyä txe'lan
Ngeyä menaril sung sì'efut.
Lrrtokìl sung sì'efuti nì'ul.

Tsakrr lu swaw a ngal omum futa Nga yawne lu oer.

My edits, basically all the stuff that's already been mentioned.

I really like this. :) I hope to write a NN short story or freeverse poem sometime soon. :)
« Last Edit: June 15, 2011, 07:54:25 am by Tirea Aean »

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Offline Puvomun

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2011, 08:07:38 am »
Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...

Swaw a ngal tse'a keyit
Swaw a ngal stawm mokrit

Tsakrr lu swaw a nga ftang tsive'a ulte sngä'i kivame
Nga sngä'i tsive'a fa ngeyä txe'lan
Ngeyä menaril sung sì'efut.
Lrrtokìl sung sì'efuti nì'ul.

Tsakrr lu swaw a ngal omum futa Nga yawne lu oer.

My edits, basically all the stuff that's already been mentioned.

I really like this. :) I hope to write a NN short story or freeverse poem sometime soon. :)

Irayo, ma Tirea Aean. Certain situations bring out certain feelings.
And writing freeverse poems is fun. :D
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Offline Tirea Aean

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2011, 10:05:15 am »
Try readig a na'vi freeverse poem out loud. it sounds beautiful!!

edit: that gives me an idea.... ;D
« Last Edit: June 15, 2011, 10:09:00 am by Tirea Aean »

kelku ikranä a hawnventi yom podcast (na'vi-only): https://bit.ly/kelkuikranä
Learn Na'vi at Mo'ara Discord: https://discord.gg/WF6qcmv

Offline Sireayä mokri

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2011, 10:20:56 am »
Lahea pum atxantsan ma Puvomun ;)

I really like this. :) I hope to write a NN short story or freeverse poem sometime soon. :)

Ayoe nìwotx pereiy :)
When the mirror speaks, the reflection lies.

Offline Puvomun

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2011, 11:39:05 am »
Try readig a na'vi freeverse poem out loud. it sounds beautiful!!

I know! I was surprised, in a good way.

edit: that gives me an idea.... ;D

Uhm... do we need to "uh-oh" now?

Lahea pum atxantsan ma Puvomun ;)

Irayo, ma Sireyä Mokri
Krr a lì'fya lam sraw, may' frivìp utralit.

Ngopyu ayvurä.

Offline Kamean

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2011, 01:47:19 pm »
Sunu oer nìtxan. :)
Tse'a ngal ke'ut a krr fra'uti kame.


Offline Alyara Arati

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Re: Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2011, 04:14:44 pm »
Ulte tsakrr lu swaw...

Swaw a ngal tse'a keyit
Swaw a ngal stawm mokrit

Tsakrr lu swaw a nga ftang tsive'a ulte sngä'i kivame
Nga sngä'i tsive'a fa ngeyä txe'lan
Ngeyä menaril sung sì'efut.
Lrrtokìl sung sì'efuti nì'ul.

Tsakrr lu swaw a ngal omum futa Nga yawne lu oer.

And writing freeverse poems is fun. :D

Mllte oe ngahu. :D  Ulte mllte oe frapohu alahe; lor nìtxan lu faylì'u ngeyä! :-* :') :-*
Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

 

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