Vur luke tstxo

[Blue Elf]

Mì sngä'ikrr lamu ... ke lamu ke'u. Lamu nì'aw txayo, kllvawm sì ngul lu a kllte sì 'a'awa tskxe. Kea ayswirä, kea sute, kea tìrey. Tìfnu akerusey sì fpom.

Slä 'awlie hufwe zola'u a tul nìwin ulte zamolunge kxangangangit sì tompat. Hufwe slolu meyp ulte ayrina' zola'u. Pesengftu hufwel zamolunge sat? Kawtul ke omum tsat ... Ayrina' zarmup nìk'ong nekll ulte wäpolan mì hllte. Sat sngolä'i tsawl slivu maw yola krr ulte ayutraltsyìp sì hì'ia ewll fkeytamok.

Kllte slolu rìkean ulte ayhì'ang sì ayswirä ahì'i zola'u. Ayutral tsawl slolu nì'ul ulte fol ngolop na'rìngit. Tsawla ayswirä zola'u. Fko tsolun stivawm sìlorit ayyayoä sì tìzawngit aysyaksyukä takrra trr'ong vaykrr txon'ong sì nguwayit aynantangä txono.
'Awa utral to lahea ayutral lolu tsawl nìtxan. Krr a Na'vi zola'u, po slolu kelku sì zongtseng feyä alu Kelutral. Frapo ramey mì meoauniaea. Na'vi sì ayswirä tarmerkup nì'aw fte tivìng tsengit fumur a'ewan a 'armongokx. Fra'u sì frapo zolo ulte Eywal fmolal rey'engit.

Slä 'awlie stxonga sute alu sawtute zola'u. Fol rolun lewawea ayut äo Kelutral.
Fol nolew futa Na'vil txayìng sneyä Kelutralit fte sawtute tsivun mivunge sat. Slä Na'viru aysa'u ke lamu txanwawe ulte fo 'ì'amawn mì Helutral.

Sawtutel sngeykamä'i tsamit akawng wä Na'vi. Fol skola'a Kelutralit fa txep. Pxaya Na'vi sì ayswirä tamerkängup. Samsiyul lefngap 'oleko fra'ut a rikx. Na'vi lamu tstew nìtxan ulte fol yolora' tìwemit wä sawtute hu srung Eywata. Maw tsam fo zolene fwivew mipa kelkut, taluna txepìl nolekx fra'ut.

Mì sngä'ikrr ke lamu ke'u, mì tì'i'akrr ke lamu ke'u. Lamängu nì'aw nusekxa kllte sì sokx akerusey, tepìva sì fwela skxe. Kea tìrey sì tìfnu...

Tìterkup flolä nìmun, slä tìrey verar ulte vayar frakrr. Zusawkrrmì hufwe zaya'u nìmun ulte zamayunge tompat sì ayrina'it.
Ayrina' tsawl slayu ulte kllte slayu rìkean. Mipa ayutral sì ewll fkeytayok, ayswirä zaya'u.
Ulte mipa Kelutral tsawl slayu nìmun.
Na'vi tayätxeiaw.
Zusawkrrmì....
Kxawm...

Edit: some corrections

[Sireayä mokri]

Mì sngä'ikrr lamu ... ke lamu ke'u. Lamu nì'aw txayo, kllvawma sì ngula lu a kllte sì 'a'awa tskxe. Kea ayswirä, kea sute, kea tìrey. Tìfnu akerusey sì fpom.

...

Kllte slolu rìkean ulte hì'ang sì ayswirä ahì'ia zola'u. Ayutral tsawl slolu nì'ul ulte fol ngolop na'rìngit. Tsawla swirä zola'u. Fko tsolun stivawm sìlor ayyayoä sì tìzawngit aysyaksyukä takrra trr'ong vaykrr txon'ong sì nguwayti aynantangä txono.
'Awa utral to lahea ayutral lolu tsawl nìtxan. Krr a Na'vi zola'u, po slolu kelku sì zongtseng snfeyä alu Kelutral. Frapo ramey mì meoauniaea. Na'vi sì ayswirä tarmerkup nì'aw fte tivìng tsengit fumur a'ewan a 'armongokx. Fra'u sì frapo zolo ulte Eywal fmolal rey'engit.

Slä 'awlie stxonga sute alu sawtute zola'u. Fol rolun lewawea ayut äo Kelutral.
Fol nolew futa Na'vil txayìng sneyä Kelutralit fte sawtute tsivun mivunge sat. Slä Na'viru tsayut aysa'ut ke lamu lewawe ulte fo vamar mì Helutral.

Sawtutel sngeykamä'i tsamit akawng wä Na'vi. Fol skola'a Kelutralit fa txep. Pxaya Na'vi sì ayswirä tamerkängup. Samsiyu lefngap tolem ro fra'u a rikx. Na'vi lamu tstew nìtxan ulte fol yolora' tìwemit wä sawtute fa srung Eywata. Maw tsam fo zolene fwivew mipa kelkut, taluna txepìl nolekx fra'ut.

Mì sngä'ikrr ke lamu ke'u, mì tì'i'akrr ke lamu ke'u. Lamängu nì'aw nusekxa kllte sì sokx akerusey, tepìva sì fwela skxe. Kea tìrey sì tìfnu...

Kxitx Tìterkup flolä nìmun, slä tìrey verar ulte vayar frakrr. 'Awlie hufwe zaya'u ulte zamayunge tompat sì ayrina'it.
...

Eltur tìtxen seiyi fìvur nìngay. Seysonìltsan

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

fìvur sunu oer nìtxan ma tsmuk. irayo ulte seysonìltsan!
slä lu oer tìkin a ngar wìntxu keyeyti. munge oel Sireayä Mokriyä "corrections" ulte oeyä pum sung.

Mì sngä'ikrr lamu ... ke lamu ke'u. Lamu nì'aw txayo, kllvawma sì ngula lu a kllte sì 'a'awa tskxe. Kea ayswirä, kea sute, kea tìrey. Tìfnu akerusey sì fpom.

Slä 'awlie hufwe zola'u a tul nìwin ulte zamolunge kxangangangit sì tompat. Hufwe slolu meyp ulte ayrina' zola'u. Pesengftu hufwel zamolunge sat? Kawtul ke omum tsat ... Ayrina' zarmup nì'k'ong nekll ulte wäpolan mì hllte. Ayfo sngolä'i tsawl slivu maw yola krr ulte ayutraltsyìp sì hì'ia ewll fkeytolok.

Kllte slolu rìkean ulte ayhì'ang sì ayswirä ahì'ia zola'u. Ayutral tsawl slolu nì'ul ulte fol ngolop na'rìngit. Tsawla ayswirä zola'u. Fko tsolun stivawm sìlor ayyayoä sì tsìzawngit aysyaksyukä takrra trr'ong vaykrr txon'ong sì aynguwayti aynantangä txono.
'Awa utral to lahea ayutral lolu tsawl nìtxan. Krr a Na'vi zola'u, po slolu kelku sì zongtseng snfeyä alu Kelutral. Frapo ramey mì meoauniaea. Na'vi sì ayswirä tarmerkup nì'aw fte tivìng tsengit fumur a'ewan a 'armongokx. Fra'u sì frapo zolo ulte Eywal fmolal rey'engit.

Slä 'awlie stxonga sute alu sawtute zola'u. Fol rolun lewawea ayut äo Kelutral.
Fol nolew futa Na'vil txayìng sneyä Kelutralit fte sawtute tsivun mivunge sat. Slä Na'viru tsayut aysa'ut ke lamu lewawe txanwawe ulte fo vamar mì Helutral.

Sawtutel sngeykamä'i tsamit akawng wä Na'vi. Fol skola'a Kelutralit fa txep. Pxaya Na'vi sì ayswirä tamerkängup. Samsiyu lefngap tolem ro fra'u a rikx. Na'vi lamu tstew nìtxan ulte fol yolora' tìwemit wä sawtute fa srung Eywata. Maw tsam fo zolene fwivew mipa kelkut, taluna txepìl nolekx fra'ut.

Mì sngä'ikrr ke lamu ke'u, mì tsì'i'akrr ke lamu ke'u. Lamängu nì'aw nusekxa kllte sì sokx akerusey, tepìva sì fwela skxe. Kea tìrey sì tìfnu...

Kxitx Tìterkup flolä nìmun, slä tìrey verar ulte vayar frakrr. 'Awlie hufwe zaya'u ulte zamayunge tompat sì ayrina'it.
Ayrina' tsawl slayu ulte kllte layen rìkean. Mipa ayutral sì ewll fkeytayok, ayswirä zaya'u.
Ulte mipa Kelutral tsawl slayu nìmun.
Na'vi tätxeiaw.
'Awlie....
Kxawm...

overall this story is really great and awesome. oeru nìngay teya si. vivar pamrel sivi ko!

[Alyara Arati]

Sunu oeru vurtsyìp nìtxan!  Nìpxi prrte' lu oeru fì*symmetry*.  Seysonìltsan nìngay!

[Sireayä mokri]

munge oel Sireayä Mokriyä "corrections" ulte oeyä pumit sung.

Sa'uri oe mllte, mungwrr pum alu

this must come before hufwe because attributive marker must be next to the noun

I wouldn't say must, we have a canonical example of the same [noun]-[verb]-[clause] attribution (Maria kxamlä na'rìng kä a zìsìto akinä ke lalmu tsar kea rìk.). It seems, a should be placed somewhere near a noun for the sake of clarity.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

that song was written by Talis if I'm not mistaken. but did he take advice from Frommer.

[Sireayä mokri]

Frommer was helping with translation, so it's canonical nonetheless. Basically, I don't see anything wrong with; a verb before a wouldn't cause any ambiguity.

[Blue Elf]

Sunu oeru vurtsyìp nìtxan!  Nìpxi prrte' lu oeru fì*symmetry*.  Seysonìltsan nìngay!

Ngeyä tìprrte'l sleykeru tìprrte't oeru 

Thanks for corrections. What I'd like to add:

Mì sngä'ikrr lamu ...

I'm afraid it sounds weird without preposition: In the beginning was... vs. Beginning was... Without preposition probably dative would be used.

Kea ayswirä, kea sute

I think both singular and plural is possible. IMHO it depends only on personal preferences; for me plural sounds better.

hufwe zola'u a tul nìwin ulte ...

Agree that hufwe a tul nìwin zola'u ulte ... can look better, however IMHO it can be also a little confusing, because one can be unsure where subclase ends - if after tul, or after nìwin.

Kawtul ke omum tsat

Not necessary - but not wrong

sìzawngit, aynguwayit

Not sure sure about plural. In English translation of these words can mark both singular and plural, IMHO

fumur

I think pum is pronous as any other, why should it be exceptional? I even think I've seen it used this way somewhere, maybe at Le'eylan's blog (?)

vamar

changed to 'ì'amawn

tolem ro

we say "shoot at", not "shoot to". What's wrong?

sì'i'akrr

Why plural? It was only one end. BTW this word itself is wrong, I created it for this story

kllte layen rìkean

I really don't have any apologize for this, because in 3rd paragraph I used correct slu. Changed.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

sìzawngit, aynguwayit

Not sure sure about plural. In English translation of these words can mark both singular and plural, IMHO

Na'vi is not English. you can hear many screams and howls, not just one.

vamar

changed to 'ì'amawn

it's 'amì'awn.

tolem ro

we say "shoot at", not "shoot to". What's wrong?

ro is used for locations. like for example "I am at Hometree". in English "at" can also be used for "towards" but Na'vi is not English. here ne is the one you need.

sì'i'akrr

Why plural? It was only one end. BTW this word itself is wrong, I created it for this story

it's not plural. it's lenition after mì.


and by the way, tìprrte' ends with a consonant (') so it should be tìprrte'ìl and tìprrte'it.

[Sireayä mokri]

I'm afraid it sounds weird without preposition: In the beginning was... vs. Beginning was... Without preposition probably dative would be used.

Words with "krr" in them can be used as adverbs. I recall Frommer using zusawkrr without an adposition.

however IMHO it can be also a little confusing, because one can be unsure where subclase ends - if after tul, or after nìwin.

You can use a comma

I think pum is pronous as any other, why should it be exceptional? I even think I've seen it used this way somewhere, maybe at Le'eylan's blog (?)

In one of his examples (sawtute akawng hum, pum asìltsan 'ì'awn), Pawl used singular instead of plural (at least we assume it should be plural). So me/pxe/ayfum is not yet confirmed.

here ne is the one you need.

I'm a little confused over tem and toltem and how to use them, but I think maybe we could use toltem (vtr.) with a direct object here?

[Blue Elf]

As I understand it:
tem (vin) = shoot at sb/st, so you can hit him/it or miss
toltem (vtr) = kill somebody by shooting
What I wanted to say is: Metal warriors (AMP suits) were shooting at everything what moves. So tem is needed to keep meaning.

[Sireayä mokri]

I can't find any examples of these words, so it remains vague to me.

Btw, how about 'eko? Something we know for sure

[Blue Elf]

Good idea! But is hasn't marked if it is transitive or not. Probably transitive usage would work.

[Sireayä mokri]

It is transitive:

  Tsawla palulukanìl oeti 'ìlmeko a krr, Nawma Sa'nok lrrtok seiyi ulte oe emroley.

[Blue Elf]

Then: Samsiyul lefngap 'oleko fra'ut a rikx.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

I think toltem fra'ut is good because we now it's transitive.