Tsenu (vur)

Started by Vawmataw, October 14, 2014, 05:39:39 PM

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Vawmataw

I decided to write a poetic story because it's too long and not poetic enough to be poem, but too beautiful to be a story.
The end of the story really makes me sad, so it means that it's a good idea.

Tsenu
Ta Vawmataw

Poru syamaw fko Tsenu.
Sìltsana rolyu poe lamu
Slä ngian tsìk slu spxin.
Po lìyu ye'rìn Eywahu.

Soaial peyä volin
Tsengit a new po fivrrfen
Sre kitx peyä tsaw? len.

Ha po poltxe san
Munge oet tsengone akosman
A oel kawkrr ke tswaya'.

Soaial rolun txayot,
A ayutraluke, taronyufa
Ulte molunge tsatsengne pot
Fte nivìn aysanhìt.

Tsenu 'amefu nitram.
Txonkrrka fol namìn aysanhìt
Ulte for lu tì'o' tatlam.

Nìfnu klltxay poe.
Pol nìn tawit txonä.
Lu piak menari peyä
Ulte lrrtok si poe.
Po 'ivärìp ftang fìfya.
Po hahaw tì'i'avay krrä.
Fmawn Ta 'Rrta - News IN NA'VI ONLY (Discord)
Traducteur francophone de Kelutral.org, dict-navi et Reykunyu

Tirea Aean

Quote
Poru syamaw fko Tsenu.
Sweya rolyu poe lamu

But everybody knows that Ninat is the best singer! ;) ::) :P

I like it though. It's great to see Na'vi Poetry is still a thing. One of these days I'll get back into it too :)


Vawmataw

QuoteI like it though.
Thanks. :)
Did you feel sad at the end of the story?
Fmawn Ta 'Rrta - News IN NA'VI ONLY (Discord)
Traducteur francophone de Kelutral.org, dict-navi et Reykunyu

Tirea Aean

Quote from: Vawmataw on October 14, 2014, 06:07:43 PM
QuoteI like it though.
Thanks. :)
Did you feel sad at the end of the story?

Sran.. :(

Vawmataw

#4
Quote from: Tirea Aean on October 14, 2014, 06:09:57 PM
Quote from: Vawmataw on October 14, 2014, 06:07:43 PM
QuoteI like it though.
Thanks. :)
Did you feel sad at the end of the story?

Sran.. :(
Oer smon tsatì'efu. ;)
Oe namew pamrel sivi fìvuru tì'i'atalun.

Quote from: Tirea Aean on October 14, 2014, 06:05:20 PM
Quote
Poru syamaw fko Tsenu.
Sweya rolyu poe lamu

But everybody knows that Ninat is the best singer! ;) ::) :P
Ìì... Sweylu txo oel leykivatem tsat alu verse.
Fmawn Ta 'Rrta - News IN NA'VI ONLY (Discord)
Traducteur francophone de Kelutral.org, dict-navi et Reykunyu

Tirea Aean


Vawmataw

Fmawn Ta 'Rrta - News IN NA'VI ONLY (Discord)
Traducteur francophone de Kelutral.org, dict-navi et Reykunyu

Blue Elf

Really nice story/poem, seems it is quite easy to be poet (not valid for me :(). A little sad too, but, is life always easy and happy?

I'd do some small corrections:
Quote from: Vawmataw on October 14, 2014, 05:39:39 PM
Poru syamaw fko Tsenu.
Sìltsana rolyu poe lamu
Slä ngian tsìk slu spxin.
Po lìyu ye'rìn Eywahu.

Soaial peyä volin
Tsengit a new po fivrrfen
Sre kitx peyä tsaw? len.

Ha po poltxe san
Munge oet tsengone akosman
A oel kawkrr ke tswaya'.

Soaial rolun txayot,
A ayutraluke, taronyufa
Ulte molunge tsatsengne pot
Fte nivìn aysanhìt.

Tsenu 'amefu nitram.
Txonkrrka fol namìn aysanhìt
Ulte for lu tì'o' tatlam.

Nìfnu klltxay poe.
Pol nìn tawit txonä.
Lu piak menari peyä
Ulte lrrtok si poe.
Po 'ivärìp ftang fìfya.
Po hahaw tì'i'avay krrä.
IMHO marked sneyä need to be changed to peyä (as there's no other po in the sentence; also translated into my language it would give no sense...)
But generally I like your texts, seems we've got good new author here :) (and karma for you too)
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Vawmataw

#8
 :-[ Thank you for the correction. As you see, I'm learning.

QuoteA little sad too, but, is life always easy and happy?
Kehe. ;)

QuoteReally nice story/poem, seems it is quite easy to be poet (not valid for me :().
QuoteBut generally I like your texts, seems we've got good new author here :) (and karma for you too)
Oh, irayo! :D

QuoteA oel kawkrr ke tswaya'.
I don't understand why.
Fmawn Ta 'Rrta - News IN NA'VI ONLY (Discord)
Traducteur francophone de Kelutral.org, dict-navi et Reykunyu

Tirea Aean

#9
Quote from: Vawmataw on October 15, 2014, 03:50:50 PM
QuoteA oel kawkrr ke tswaya'.
I don't understand why.

It's because the whole phrase is:

tsengone akosman a oel kawkrr ke tswaya'.

It's because you already mentioned what you will never forget: tsengo akosman.

Leaving off all cases and using a transitive verb intransitively is for when you are doing the verb in general, and the object doesn't matter and was not mentioned. If the object is mentioned already, you use the -l case as if that direct object were repeated there.

Quote from: Horen
6.12.1. Omitted Object. This use should be distinguished from omission of a direct object that exists in the context. For example,

Ngal ke tse'a txepit srak? Do you not see the fire?
Oel tse'a. I see (it).

Here the direct object is simply not mentioned, rather than suppressed entirely, so the verb and subject still follow the normal transitive syntax.

You could even add tsat at the end of your sentence, but you don't have to. If you did add tsat, you would need that -l. In that case, it would be more obvious.

Beware the edits

Vawmataw

Fmawn Ta 'Rrta - News IN NA'VI ONLY (Discord)
Traducteur francophone de Kelutral.org, dict-navi et Reykunyu