Author Topic: Hahaw (Sleep - Eric Whitacre)  (Read 574 times)

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Offline eejmensenikbenhet

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Hahaw (Sleep - Eric Whitacre)
« on: June 04, 2018, 05:32:13 pm »
It's been a while since I've tried to translate a song into Na'vi, and as I was arranging this amazing song for brass band I thought it was just too bad that the lyrics would get lost (because, well we don't have any singers) so to make up for that I started translating. I'm a bit rusty, I must admit, but nonetheless quite proud that I could still produce some nice lyrics. I tried to stay true to original meter and rhyme, and took some artistic liberties in translating the piece.

Without further ado, the lyrics:

English
Na'vi (with some sidenotes as descriptions)
Translation



The evening hangs beneath the moon,| Kaym kerur äo Naranawm,| The evening is hanging below Polyphemus,
A silver thread on darkened dune.| Nrra kìng mì ayram avawm.| A glowing thread on dark mountains.
With closing eyes and resting head| Menarit tstu si, tsurokx re-| Close eyes, head rests,
I know that sleep is coming soon.| 'o, omum futa zìrya'u *tìhahaw.| Know this that *sleep is coming soon.
-
Upon my pillow, safe in bed,| Txay mì oey(ä) nivi akxuke,| Laying flat in my safe hammock,
A thousand pictures fill my head.| Vozama rel teya si oer.| Thousand pictures fill me.
I cannot sleep, my mind’s aflight;| Ke tsun hivahaw, hinam lam| Can't sleep, legs seem like metal;
And yet my limbs seem made of lead.| na fngap; Mi tswerayon ronsem.| Yet the mind is flying.
-
If there are noises in the night,| Txo fkol stawm hawmpamit txonmì,| If one hears noises in the night,
A frightening sha-dow, flickering light,| Tse'a atanzaw txewma uksì,| Sees lightning and a frightening shadow,
Then I surrender unto sleep,| Oe velek, oe hìryahaw,| I surrender, I will sleep soon,
Where clouds of dream give second sight,| Pìwopxìl ta unil 'urit tìng,| Clouds from a dream give sight,
-
What dreams may come, both dark and deep,| Ayunil srer a txukx sì vawm,| Dreams appear, deep and dark,
Of flying wings and soaring leap.| Aysyalteri atswusayon.| About flying wings.
As I surrender unto sleep,| Oe velek, oe hìryahaw,| I surrender, I will sleep soon,
As I surrender unto sleep.| Oe velek, oe hìryahaw.| I surrender, I will sleep soon,



Rhyme and metre are really hard to keep consistent while translating. I focused more on getting vowels to align to get a slant rhyme going.
But if you want to have a go yourself or correct me, the system is as follows:

In the original lyrics, every line has 8 syllables, with a rhyme scheme like this:
A-A-B-A
B-B-C-B
C-C-D-C
D-D-D-D



A YouTube version of the original, directed by Eric Whitacre himself:

Offline Toliman

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Re: Hahaw (Sleep - Eric Whitacre)
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2018, 02:27:18 am »
Nice translation! (and good song) :)

Rhyme and metre are really hard to keep consistent while translating.
Yes, it's really hard, I know (I tried translate any songs earlier too).

 

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