Hahaw (Sleep - Eric Whitacre)

[eejmensenikbenhet]

It's been a while since I've tried to translate a song into Na'vi, and as I was arranging this amazing song for brass band I thought it was just too bad that the lyrics would get lost (because, well we don't have any singers) so to make up for that I started translating. I'm a bit rusty, I must admit, but nonetheless quite proud that I could still produce some nice lyrics. I tried to stay true to original meter and rhyme, and took some artistic liberties in translating the piece.

Without further ado, the lyrics:

English
Na'vi (with some sidenotes as descriptions)
Translation

The evening hangs beneath the moon,	| Kaym kerur äo Naranawm,	| The evening is hanging below Polyphemus,
A silver thread on darkened dune.	| Nrra kìng mì ayram avawm.	| A glowing thread on dark mountains.
With closing eyes and resting head	| Menarit tstu si, tsurokx re-	| Close eyes, head rests,
I know that sleep is coming soon.	| 'o, omum futa zìrya'u *tìhahaw.	| Know this that *sleep is coming soon.
-
Upon my pillow, safe in bed,	| Txay mì oey(ä) nivi akxuke,	| Laying flat in my safe hammock,
A thousand pictures fill my head.	| Vozama rel teya si oer.	| Thousand pictures fill me.
I cannot sleep, my mind's aflight;	| Ke tsun hivahaw, hinam lam	| Can't sleep, legs seem like metal;
And yet my limbs seem made of lead.	| na fngap; Mi tswerayon ronsem.	| Yet the mind is flying.
-
If there are noises in the night,	| Txo fkol stawm hawmpamit txonmì,	| If one hears noises in the night,
A frightening sha-dow, flickering light,	| Tse'a atanzaw txewma uksì,	| Sees lightning and a frightening shadow,
Then I surrender unto sleep,	| Oe velek, oe hìryahaw,	| I surrender, I will sleep soon,
Where clouds of dream give second sight,	| Pìwopxìl ta unil 'urit tìng,	| Clouds from a dream give sight,
-
What dreams may come, both dark and deep,	| Ayunil srer a txukx sì vawm,	| Dreams appear, deep and dark,
Of flying wings and soaring leap.	| Aysyalteri atswusayon.	| About flying wings.
As I surrender unto sleep,	| Oe velek, oe hìryahaw,	| I surrender, I will sleep soon,
As I surrender unto sleep.	| Oe velek, oe hìryahaw.	| I surrender, I will sleep soon,

Rhyme and metre are really hard to keep consistent while translating. I focused more on getting vowels to align to get a slant rhyme going.
But if you want to have a go yourself or correct me, the system is as follows:

In the original lyrics, every line has 8 syllables, with a rhyme scheme like this:
A-A-B-A
B-B-C-B
C-C-D-C
D-D-D-D



A YouTube version of the original, directed by Eric Whitacre himself:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9shXm0cIeEY

[Toliman]

Nice translation! (and good song)

Rhyme and metre are really hard to keep consistent while translating.

Yes, it's really hard, I know (I tried translate any songs earlier too).