Home on the Range for Karyu Pawl

Ftiafpi · September 13, 2011, 02:46:39 PM

Added a few more lines during my lunch. I'll start working on this more regularly now.

hemmond · September 27, 2011, 12:28:55 PM

Quote from: Ftiafpi on September 13, 2011, 02:46:39 PM
Added a few more lines during my lunch. I'll start working on this more regularly now.

I hope, you will.

EDIT:

QuoteTseng a ayyerìk tul nìwin.

Can there be "terul nìwin"

I'm trying to play it on the guitar... And "terul" sounds there better.

eejmensenikbenhet · September 27, 2011, 01:01:35 PM

Can be, looking at the syllables, don't know about the grammatical side though.

Where the deer and the an-te-lope play. (9 syllables)
Tseng a ay-ye-rìk te-rul nì-win. (9 syllables)

Ftiafpi · September 27, 2011, 01:29:26 PM

The grammar can work and I see what you mean about singing it. The only problem I see is the meaning of that line with <er>, I would like to use <iv> if we need another syllable.

Tseng a ayyerìk terul nìwin
A place where the hexapede are swiftly running

vs.

Tseng a ayyerìk tivul nìwin
A place where the hexapede may run swiftly

If that doesn't mess with your guitar work then I'm going to change it so. I'm also adding a few more lines as we speak (and wishing I had more free time during lunch).

hemmond · September 29, 2011, 04:43:22 PM

In fact... I was thinking of <iv> but then I put there <er> because wasn't sure about that conjunct... But <iv> sounds better (imho) there.

And nice, that you're putting new lines.

Tbh, it was really short.

EDIT: Next attempt to play this...

So... That second kelku is harder to play... One kelku I can make longer.

Two kelkus sounds like firing form machine-gun.

Second verse is pretty hard to fit into the rhythm.

Ftiafpi · October 02, 2011, 03:33:03 PM

Quote from: hemmond on September 29, 2011, 04:43:22 PM
In fact... I was thinking of <iv> but then I put there <er> because wasn't sure about that conjunct... But <iv> sounds better (imho) there. And nice, that you're putting new lines. Tbh, it was really short.

EDIT: Next attempt to play this... So... That second kelku is harder to play... One kelku I can make longer. Two kelkus sounds like firing form machine-gun.
Second verse is pretty hard to fit into the rhythm.

Alrighty, I removed the extra kelku. What about the 2nd line is hard? It seemed a little clunky to me, too.

hemmond · October 02, 2011, 03:37:16 PM

If I have more time, I'll look on that and check, what can be changed for better rythm (About the end of the week, I hope)... If you won't do this before me.

EDIT: I've decided... I'll record first verse and chorus (bad quality, maybe not the best rythm and more bad things), so you'll get some idea about how I'm playing, how am I singing, how diferent is it form the original song... And you can then put here things, what you want to do diferent.

So I can learn it diferently, before it'll be too late.

I hope I'll be able to record it tomorrow.

But it's only "preview record".

Of course, if you don't mind.

Ftiafpi · December 20, 2011, 12:27:05 PM

Yikes, I was forced to take a break on this for way too long. Finally getting back to it today.

Ateyo Te Syaksyuk · December 20, 2011, 12:44:09 PM

That would be fun to singaround the campfire, both in Siattle and here in Texas.
Niri Te and I will praactice together when you get the lyrics developed!

Ftiafpi · December 20, 2011, 01:25:21 PM

Lyrics are done! Please comment and we'll see about getting a recording of this done soon.

eejmensenikbenhet · December 20, 2011, 02:26:27 PM

Wow, I like the new part! Though, I have some things that don't exactly fit in the melody (my siggestions are in bold):

Quote from: Ftiafpi on July 24, 2011, 07:01:28 PM
Kelku mì Tayo
Home on the Range

Tìng oeru kelkut.
Tseng a eyktan oe lu.
Tseng a ayyerìk tivul nìwin.
Kawkrr ngal ke stawm aylì'ut akawng.
Ulte taw layu ean fratrr.

Chorus
Kelku mì tayo.
Tseng a ayyerìk tivul nìwin.
Kawkrr ngal ke stawm aylì'ut akawng.
Ulte taw layu ean fratrr.

Txon a krr oe heyn.
Tengkrr txanatan lu taw.
Ta sanhì sì Eywayä atan.
Oe kllkxem ulte
pawm. Fwa pawm oe pxìm
Atanri nìteng tsengti tok srak?

Chorus

Syulang oer lu yawn-
e mì awngeyä fìtseng
Oer lu yawne nantangä nguway
tsmuke sì tsmukan, sì lora ayikran
a tswayon kxamlä taw nìwin

Chorus

[Slowly]Ulte taw layu ean fratrr.

I also included a (muffled) sample of me singing it so you can here why I suggest these things. Sorry for the quite unclear pronounciation but I couldn't sing out loud since my father is sleeping (he has to work at around 1:00 am and it's now 21:20 pm). I will try to record a better version when I get home from Christmas shopping tomorrow.

EDIT: The file doesn't seem to upload... Tomorrow then...

Toruk Makto · December 20, 2011, 02:46:26 PM

Quote from: Ftiafpi on December 20, 2011, 01:25:21 PM
Lyrics are done! Please comment and we'll see about getting a recording of this done soon.

This has more win than anything I have seen in a long time. Awesome!

Ftiafpi · December 20, 2011, 03:03:26 PM

Quote from: eejmensenikbenhet on December 20, 2011, 02:26:27 PM
Wow, I like the new part! Though, I have some things that don't exactly fit in the melody (my siggestions are in bold):

Spoiler
Quote from: Ftiafpi on July 24, 2011, 07:01:28 PM
Kelku mì Txayo
Home on the Range

Tìng oeru kelkut.
Tseng a eyktan oe lu.
Tseng a ayyerìk tivul nìwin.
Kawkrr ngal ke stawm aylì'ut akawng.
Ulte taw layu ean fratrr.

Chorus
Kelku mì tayo.
Tseng a ayyerìk tivul nìwin.
Kawkrr ngal ke stawm aylì'ut akawng.
Ulte taw layu ean fratrr.

Txon a krr oe heyn.
Tengkrr txanatan lu taw.
Ta sanhì sì Eywayä atan.
Oe kllkxem ulte
pawm. Fwa pawm oe pxìm
Atanri nìteng tsengti tok srak?

Chorus

Syulang oer lu yawn-
e mì awngeyä fìtseng
Oer lu yawne nantangä nguway
tsmuke sì tsmukan, sì lora ayikran
a tswayon kxamlä taw nìwin

Chorus

[Slowly]Ulte taw layu ean fratrr.

I also included a (muffled) sample of me singing it so you can here why I suggest these things. Sorry for the quite unclear pronounciation but I couldn't sing out loud since my father is sleeping (he has to work at around 1:00 am and it's now 21:20 pm). I will try to record a better version when I get home from Christmas shopping tomorrow.

EDIT: The file doesn't seem to upload... Tomorrow then...

Excellent advice, I'm made all but one of those changes (and in that case I modified it to a similar effect). I anxiously await your sample and good luck with your shopping.

Quote from: Toruk Makto on December 20, 2011, 02:46:26 PM
Quote from: Ftiafpi on December 20, 2011, 01:25:21 PM
Lyrics are done! Please comment and we'll see about getting a recording of this done soon.

This has more win than anything I have seen in a long time. Awesome!

Oe irayo si nìprrte'. I'm glad you like it.

Taronyu · December 20, 2011, 03:24:40 PM

Cool idea!

I couldn't resist having a crack at it.

http://soundcloud.com/richard-littauer/kelku-m-txayo

Tirea Aean · December 20, 2011, 03:32:03 PM

Nice.

HRRH @ "ngaytxoa 'rrìri"

Ftiafpi · December 20, 2011, 03:44:15 PM

Quote from: Taronyu on December 20, 2011, 03:24:40 PM
Cool idea!

I couldn't resist having a crack at it.

http://soundcloud.com/richard-littauer/kelku-m-txayo

Hey, glad you could join the party. I haven't heard you speaking Na'vi since forever. I noticed a few places you had to speed up to get all the syllables in so I cut them down where I could. Heh, maybe we can get a whole group of us singing it? Once we get this finalized maybe I can get a bunch of samples of people singing and I could combine them into a single song?

Taronyu · December 20, 2011, 03:50:59 PM

Glad to be here.

I never did speak much Na'vi, it was fun to have a crack at it again.

Yeah, I think that might be possible. Let me know if you want another version?

eejmensenikbenhet · December 20, 2011, 04:10:43 PM

Wow, that sounds a bit strange. First of all hearing THE Taronyu sing and second I have always known the melody differently...

hemmond · December 20, 2011, 04:37:57 PM

Awesome you finished it, ma Fitafpi.

Awesome we can hear your Na'vi... And your singing, ma Taronyu.

And awesome this topic still has visitors and people willing to help with this.

eejmensenikbenhet · December 20, 2011, 04:54:15 PM

Kelku mì Tayo - EMIBH's Sample

A YouTube attempt then, please bear with the noise, that's the cooler of my laptop. I couldn't find the mic so I had to use the inbuilt one. Just to be clear: I'm singing the version with my suggestions in it. First post on this page.