Author Topic: Huns & Dr. Beeker - Ghost Town (song about Chernobyl disaster)  (Read 518 times)

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Offline Toliman

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Huns & Dr. Beeker - Ghost Town (song about Chernobyl disaster)
« on: September 30, 2016, 01:37:44 pm »
There is translation of one sad song about Chernobyl disaster.


Kawtu ketsamun ivomum fwa fìrewon
Fwa fìrewon syayä trr zaya'u.
Tìterkupä hufwe zama'u luke säpenghrr
Ulte kawtu ketsamun hivifwo neto.

Tepyu lamu tstew, fo wamem meuiahu.
Slä tìsom lamu nìhawng txan.
Nìhay sì nìhaya tepyu zamup rofa foä smuk.
Fo ketsamum tsive'a foä kxutut.

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...

Fo tsame'a ayuit a lamu luke tìoeyktìng.
Tuteol plltxe futa ayutral nrr nìtun.
Fol plltxe futa fìatan lu atan tìterkupä.
Slä fì'u lu sirea suteyä akerusey kxawm ...

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...

Txìng ayoeyä helkuti, txìng tsrayti ayoeyä.
Txìng sirea suteyä a fìtsenge roley foä sìrey.
Fol plltxe futa fìtsenge layu frakrr tsray sireayä.
Vozamzampxevola zìsìt hìmtxewvay

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...



Song is here:

And lyrics are here:

Offline Plumps

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Re: Huns & Dr. Beeker - Ghost Town (song about Chernobyl disaster)
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2016, 11:50:14 am »
Great translation, ma Toliman. :)
I didn’t know that song.

Here are a few things I noticed.

Kawtu ke] [tsamun ivomum futa fìrewon
futa fìrewon syayä trr zaya'u. => that’s a bit misleading, this could mean “this morning of fate” or “fate’s day”
Tìterkupä hufwe zama'u luke säpenghrr
Ulte kawtu ke] [tsamun hivifwo neto.

Tepyu lamu tstew, fo wamem meuiahu.
Slä tìsom lamu nìhawng txan.
Nìhay sì nìhaya tepyu zamup rofa feyä smuk. => I’d go for one: either nìhay sì nìhay or hay sì haya
Fo ke] [tsamum tsive'a feyä kxutut.

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, ngal pesengit tok? => more literal: pesengne nga kamä?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengìl a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...

Fol tsame'a ayuti a lamu luke tìoeyktìng.
Tuteol plltxe fayluta ayutral nrr nìtun.
Fol plltxe faylta fìatan lu atan tìterkupä.
Slä fì'u lu sirea suteyä akerusey kxawm ...



Txìng ayoeyä helkuti, txìng tsrayti ayoeyä. => literally this comes out as a command: “abandon our homes, abandon our village”
Txìng sireat suteyä a fìtsenge roley feyä sìrey. => rey is intransitive, so this structure doesn’t work, unfortunately; “they lived their life” is rather idiomatic, maybe. It’s just “they lived here”
Fol plltxe faylta fìtsenge layu frakrr tsray sireayä.
Vozamzampxevola zìsìt hìmtxewvay

Offline Toliman

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Re: Huns & Dr. Beeker - Ghost Town (song about Chernobyl disaster)
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2016, 12:12:04 pm »
Great translation, ma Toliman. :)
Irayo ma Plumps  :)
Thanks for correction of my (stupid) mistakes.

I didn’t know that song.
Yes, it's quite unknown song

Offline Plumps

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Re: Huns & Dr. Beeker - Ghost Town (song about Chernobyl disaster)
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2016, 04:43:55 pm »
Nìprrte’ ;)

They are not stupid ;) They are just little hurdles on your way to perfection :D

Offline Toliman

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Re: Huns & Dr. Beeker - Ghost Town (song about Chernobyl disaster)
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2016, 06:31:08 pm »
They are not stupid ;) They are just little hurdles on your way to perfection :D[/font][/size]
I know  :)

They are just little hurdles on your way to perfection :D[/font][/size]
It will be long way  ::)



I corrected mistakes and I decided use some your ideas  :) :



Kawtu ke tsamun ivomum futa fìrewon
Futa fìrewon trr syayä zaya'u.
Tìterkupä hufwe zama'u luke säpenghrr
Ulte kawtu ke tsamun hivifwo neto.

Tepyu lamu tstew, fo wamem meuiahu.
Slä tìsom lamu nìhawng txan.
Nìhay sì nìhay tepyu zamup rofa foä smuk.
Fo ke tsamum tsive'a feyä kxutut.

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, nga pesengne kamä ?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...

Fol tsame'a ayuti a lamu luke tìoeyktìng.
Tuteol plltxe fayluta ayutral nrr nìtun.
Fol plltxe fayluta fìatan lu atan tìterkupä.
Slä fì'u lu sirea suteyä akerusey kxawm ...

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, nga pesengne kamä ?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...

Txìng ayoeyä helkuti, txìng tsrayti ayoeyä.
Txìng sireat suteyä a fìtsenge roley.
Fol plltxe fayluta fìtsenge layu frakrr tsray sireayä.
Vozamzampxevola zìsìt hìmtxewvay

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, nga pesengne kamä ?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...



Txìng ayoeyä helkuti, txìng tsrayti ayoeyä. => literally this comes out as a command: “abandon our homes, abandon our village”
Here I wanted it as command, but I don't know ...

Offline Toliman

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Re: Huns & Dr. Beeker - Ghost Town (song about Chernobyl disaster)
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2016, 04:18:44 pm »
Before one week I found Slovak version of this song on one Slovak website. It was inspired me to few minor modifications ...


Kawtu ke tsamun ivomum futa tsarewon
Fo tìtxen soli nemfa trr syayä.
Tìterkup zama'u hufwehu luke säpenghrr
Ulte kawtu ke tsamun hivifwo neto.

Tepyu lamu tstew, fo wamem meuiahu.
Slä tìsom lamu nìhawng txan.
Nìhay sì nìhay tepyu zamup rofa feyä smuk.
Fo ke tsamum tsive'a feyä kxutut.

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, nga pesengne kamä?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...

Fol tsame'a ayuti a lamu luke tìoeyktìng.
Tuteol plltxe fayluta ayutral nrr nìtun.
Fol plltxe fayluta fìatan lu atan tìterkupä.
Slä fì'u lu sirea suteyä akerusey kxawm ...

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, nga pesengne kamä?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...

Txolìng fol helkuti feyä, txolìng fol tsrayti feyä.
Txolìng feyä ayvitral sengeti tsenga fo roley
Fol plltxe fayluta fìtsenge layu frakrr tsray kawtuyä.
Vozamzampxevola zìsìt hìmtxewvay

Ma sa'nu, ngal pesengit tok?
Ma sempu, nga pesengne kamä?
Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng?
Eywa omum nì'aw ...

Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Huns & Dr. Beeker - Ghost Town (song about Chernobyl disaster)
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2016, 01:10:30 pm »
Seysonìltsan, ma Toliman - tìralpeng ngeyä lu txantsan, fpìl oe.
I read the last version and IMHO there is nothing to add. Just a few ideas:

- In Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng? you need evengìl
- Fol tsame'a ayuti a lamu luke tìoeyktìng - I would maybe use Fol tsame'a ayuti a ke tsun fko oeyktivìng or Fol tsame'a ayuti a tsari ke lu tìoeyktìng. Not saying you version is not correct, but to me appears somehow too English
- Slä fì'u lu sirea suteyä akerusey kxawm - here I don't like singular on one side and plural on second side of sentence. IMHO even English is wrong here and fayu in Na'vi would fit better.
- Txolìng feyä ayvitral sengeti tsenga fo roley - two forms of tsenge one next to second doesn't look well. IMHO Txolìng feyä ayvitral sengeti a fo roley would suffice.

But your work is still perfect. Congratulation!
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Toliman

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Re: Huns & Dr. Beeker - Ghost Town (song about Chernobyl disaster)
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2016, 01:33:05 pm »
Irayo ma Blue Elf  :)

- In Ulte pesengit tok ewengil a uvan soli fìtseng? you need evengìl
nìngay ... weird mistake

- Fol tsame'a ayuti a lamu luke tìoeyktìng - I would maybe use Fol tsame'a ayuti a ke tsun fko oeyktivìng or Fol tsame'a ayuti a tsari ke lu tìoeyktìng. Not saying you version is not correct, but to me appears somehow too English
Yes, both your versions looks as better. I prefer your second idea.

- Txolìng feyä ayvitral sengeti tsenga fo roley - two forms of tsenge one next to second doesn't look well. IMHO Txolìng feyä ayvitral sengeti a fo roley would suffice.
Yeah, it looks really as better.

 

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