Author Topic: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'  (Read 3707 times)

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Offline Alyara Arati

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Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« on: November 12, 2012, 01:38:51 am »
I'm not sure how much mangling of the song is allowable in order to make it singable nìNa'vi...
Anyway, this is what I came up with; it has both rhyme and the original meter:


Aylì'u leNa'vi

kame ngat
kame ngat

unilmì tìran, ngat kame
tìreyri syuratan syeha si oer nang
set fa nga rerey; nìteng nga si, nìhona
sìlpey mì te'lan tsnì fìunil ke ftang

kame oet ìlä nga
may' oel tìreyt, tswayon oeng
tìyawn ngey nrr ulte oer fyawìntxu
tafral stxenutìng pumit oey ngar nì'eng
rey fa ngey tìyawn

nga kar oeru fra'uteri a lu lor
ke ronsrelngolop fyolea kifkeyt nang
set täpìng nìrangal ngar nìsìlpeysì
kifkey a oer yawne vivar nìlkeftang


kame oet ìlä nga
may' oel tìreyt, tswayon oeng
tìyawn ngey nrr ulte oer fyawìntxu
ha tìyawnit oey tìng, tìreytsì oey ngar nìteng

tse lolu txe'lan atstu oer
sì tirea asyawnep
fìtxan Eyweveng kosman lu
slä menari lolu kakrel
ke tsivun tsive'a opinit a tsunslu

nìlkeftang
kame oet ìlä nga
kame oet ìlä nga
may' oel tìreyt, tswayon oeng
tswayon oeng

tìyawn ngey nrr ulte oer fyawìntxu
tafral stxenutìng pumit oey ngar nì'eng
rey fa ngey tìyawn
rey fa ngey tìyawn
kame ngat
kame ngat

« Last Edit: November 12, 2012, 10:14:20 pm by Alyara Arati »
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Offline Tirea Aean

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2012, 02:09:04 am »
:O

GOLD!! or even UNOBTANIUM! ;D

I'm just tryin to figure out what's up with karteri. teri as an adp. only attaches/associates with nouns, kar is a vtr.

EDIT: maybe that line could be

kar nga oer fra'uteri a lu lor

:)
« Last Edit: November 12, 2012, 02:14:23 am by Tirea Aean »

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2012, 02:27:59 am »
Hell, it's fantastic translation! I'll check at home how it can be sung (not saying I'll try it) but it is kosman nì'aw!
What deserves karma if not this?
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"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Tirea Aean

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2012, 02:28:44 am »
Hell, it's fantastic translation! I'll check at home how it can be sung (not saying I'll try it) but it is kosman nì'aw!
What deserves karma if not this?

currently working on syllabification. will post when finished.

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2012, 03:13:39 am »
Ok, so here's the syllabification of this song. Now it's easier to know how to sing, if you know the melody and the original lyrics, etc.


EDIT: typos.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2012, 02:34:27 pm by Tirea Aean »

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Offline Plumps

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2012, 04:42:34 am »
This is in fact the best version I’ve ever seen! ;D
Seysonìltsan sì yeio’ nìngay nìwotx!

The only problem I have while tìng lawr-ing along is the line

     tìyawn ngey nrr ulte oer fyawìntxu

The rr always takes two beats where English takes one. But that’s managable ;)

Also, a small typo in the line

     ke tsivun tsive’a opinit a_tsunslu

tsunslu is the verb, the adjective would be letsunslu … so you could go either way. Either opinit letsunslu (‘possible colours’) or opinit a tsunslu (‘colours that are possible’) without gaining or losing a syllable :D
lì’fya leNa’vi yawne leiu oer

Offline Tirea Aean

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2012, 04:53:29 am »
Indeed, I agree that this is the best version to date. Seykxel sì nitram ma Alyara!

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Offline Alyara Arati

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2012, 12:34:04 pm »
:O

GOLD!! or even UNOBTANIUM! ;D

I'm just tryin to figure out what's up with karteri. teri as an adp. only attaches/associates with nouns, kar is a vtr.

EDIT: maybe that line could be

kar nga oer fra'uteri a lu lor

:)

Good catch!  Thanks! ;D

To fit the stress, I think I prefer the tiny change to:

ngal kar oeru fra'uteri a lu lor.

Also irayo ma frapo! :D :-[ :D
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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2012, 02:32:32 pm »
:O

GOLD!! or even UNOBTANIUM! ;D

I'm just tryin to figure out what's up with karteri. teri as an adp. only attaches/associates with nouns, kar is a vtr.

EDIT: maybe that line could be

kar nga oer fra'uteri a lu lor

:)

Good catch!  Thanks! ;D

To fit the stress, I think I prefer the tiny change to:

ngal kar oeru fra'uteri a lu lor.

Also irayo ma frapo! :D :-[ :D


nga wasn't a typo. :) need for -l -t cases was destroyed by using adp. teri. if you wanna use l on ngal, put t on fra'u instead of teri. but that would blow up the syllable count. *edits word order in syllabification* I actually was debating putting nga first but it doesn't really matter to me.

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #9 on: November 12, 2012, 02:54:53 pm »
confirming that song is less or more singable. Problem is, that it is difficult to sing in English - those racking and contracting of words is real pain (I remember that when I tried to learn it). It causes the same problems in Na'vi, so I always loose myself near to end of song. Meh, I'm not a singer, still enjoying great text. If someone is able to record it, I learn the song from this recording. I like it.

Edit: I would prefer change "ngat kame" to "kame ngat". Although it do not cause any change, to me appear to be better singable. Also:
nga kar oeru  fra'uteri a lu lor lor lu seems to be better for pronunciation. Just my ideas.

Edit 2: vivar fìkifkey a fì'ut vin oel
« Last Edit: November 12, 2012, 03:13:16 pm by Blue Elf »
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #10 on: November 12, 2012, 04:19:25 pm »
nga wasn't a typo. :) need for -l -t cases was destroyed by using adp. teri. if you wanna use l on ngal, put t on fra'u instead of teri. but that would blow up the syllable count. *edits word order in syllabification* I actually was debating putting nga first but it doesn't really matter to me.

I don't know what I was thinking...  Clearly my brain is mush. :( :-[ :(

confirming that song is less or more singable. Problem is, that it is difficult to sing in English - those racking and contracting of words is real pain (I remember that when I tried to learn it). It causes the same problems in Na'vi, so I always loose myself near to end of song. Meh, I'm not a singer, still enjoying great text. If someone is able to record it, I learn the song from this recording. I like it.

Edit: I would prefer change "ngat kame" to "kame ngat". Although it do not cause any change, to me appear to be better singable. Also:
nga kar oeru  fra'uteri a lu lor lor lu seems to be better for pronunciation. Just my ideas.

Edit 2: vivar fìkifkey a fì'ut vin oel

Also, I will make those changes...  and work on the line vivar fìkifkey a fì'ut vin oel... :-X
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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #11 on: November 12, 2012, 04:34:03 pm »
TMO, lu lor is easier... r->l is diffcult.

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #12 on: November 12, 2012, 10:08:09 pm »
Okay guys, how about this?

nga kar oeru fra'uteri a lu lor
ke ronsrelngolop fyolea kifkeyt nang
set täpìng nìrangal ngar nìsìlpeysì
kifkey a oer yawne vivar nìlkeftang


 8)
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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #13 on: November 12, 2012, 10:12:53 pm »
I think it sounds quite very nice!

it even has a sort of ABCB rhyme :D

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #14 on: November 12, 2012, 10:47:21 pm »
 I ran through it a few moments ago when I first saw it, and it is really easy to get the phrasing the same as in the English version. Assuming that the Veterans Administration doesn't manage to kill one or both of us off tonight due to CO or CO2 poisoning, Ateyo and I will start to work it up tomorrow. It REALLY looks good. The Skxawng with a voice will see what she can do with your lyrics in the next several days. Eywa Ngahu, oeya tsmuke, ulte irayo Tirea, Blue Elf, si Plumps.
ta Niri Tawa
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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #15 on: November 12, 2012, 11:10:26 pm »
Ma Alyara!  This is FANTASTIC! 
I only hope our voices can do this beautiful song justice.
ta ATEYO
 :D

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #16 on: November 12, 2012, 11:16:07 pm »
Updated Syllabification:


By the way, does anyone else besides me find it useful?

EDIT: fixed.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2012, 04:44:04 pm by Tirea Aean »

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #17 on: November 12, 2012, 11:53:54 pm »
Updated Syllabification:


By the way, does anyone else besides me find it useful?

And yes, this is useful.  Partly because of this I discovered that I had the stress wrong several times in the stanza I rewrote in purple.  Also, thanks again for the rhyme dictionary!
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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #18 on: November 13, 2012, 12:29:23 am »
Updated Syllabification:


By the way, does anyone else besides me find it useful?

And yes, this is useful.  Partly because of this I discovered that I had the stress wrong several times in the stanza I rewrote in purple.  Also, thanks again for the rhyme dictionary!

:D Rhyme dictionary!

Yeah, I'm still shaky on the line that has syuratan in it. When I recorded Txon for Paul's blog, He told me that it's syu-RA-tan, not SYU-ra-tan and I had to re-record. ;)

EDIT: I see what you did there. fixed.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2012, 12:34:28 am by Tirea Aean »

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Offline Blue Elf

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Re: Oel Ngati Kameie; lahea 'tìfmi'
« Reply #19 on: November 13, 2012, 01:50:15 am »
By the way, does anyone else besides me find it useful?
Sure! How can you doubt?

Idea:
To me appears, that on this line one more syllable would simplify singing:
Wal - king  through a    dream, I       See  you
u  -  nil - mì           oe  tìran,   ngat   ka - me
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


 

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