Pefya tsun oe rey?

[Ezy Ryder]

Ok... Haven't posted in here for a while... But I thought I could again try to learn Na'vi language. So here is a song by Fat Mattress, that I tried to translate. I'm sorry for all the mistakes I made. Oh, and also, I couldn't find any lyrics to this song, so I tried to write them by ear, so this could cause even more errors.
Oel tsama'e yayoti
Tswarmayon mì saw
Pol nalmìn oeti
Oe newomum pivelun
Kxawm po eromum lu
Oe nìftxan anì'awtu lu

Pefya tsun oe rey
Pefya tsun oe rey
Mì oeyä fìtseng tok
Nìftxan nì'awtu

Oel tsa'e tawtskxeti //Couldn't find the word for moon, so I improvised...
Akxayl mì saw
Tsat lu nìoe
Leoe lu //Also a harder one for me...

Pefya tsun oe rey
Pefya tsun oe rey
Mì oeyä fìtseng tok
Nìftxan nì'awtu

Krrpe oe 'ewan lamu
Ayu nìftxana sìltsan nì'ul fpi oe lamu //Yet another difficult for me to translate.
Set oe tsawl slolu
Tìrey lam ngäzìk nì'ul oeru

Pefya tsun oe rey
Pefya tsun oe rey
Mì oeyä fìtseng tok
Nìftxan nì'awtu

Zerok tsayayoti srak?
Tswerayon mì saw
Pol lolawk oeti
Peu lefpom tsun lu

Pefya tsun oe rey
Pefya tsun oe rey
Mì oeyä fìtseng tok
Nìftxan nì'awtu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9RStmgwc5U&feature=channel_video_title

[eejmensenikbenhet]

[...]

Oel tsame'a yayoti (the verb is tse'a not *tsa'e)
Tswarmayon mì saw
Pol nalmìn oeti
Oe newomum pelun (pelun is not a verb so no <iv> needed)
Kxawm po eromum (not sure what you did here, but lu is unnecessary)
Oe nì'awtu lu fìtxan (again, not sure, this is my attempt)

Pefya tsun oe rivey (here you do need <iv>)
Pefya tsun oe rivey
Mì oeyä fìtseng tok
Nìftxan nì'awtu

Oel tse'a tawtskxeti (again: tse'a and not *tsa'e)
Kxayl mì saw (no a in front of kxayl with this usage)
Tsat lam na oe (here I'm not sure about my own version, this is what we used in Hämlet... )
Lam na oe (hard for me too )

Pefya tsun oe rivey (<iv>)
Pefya tsun oe rivey
Mì oeyä fìtseng tok
Nìftxan nì'awtu

Krr a oe 'ewan lamu (-pe+ is only used for questions, you should use a here)
Ayu nìftxana sìltsan nì'ul fpi oe lamu (difficult indeed, maybe something with topical let's ask a more advanced person)
Set oe tsawl slolu
Tìrey ngäzìk nì'ul oer lamu (they sing "Life's been harder for me")

Pefya tsun oe rivey (<iv>)
Pefya tsun oe rivey
Mì oeyä fìtseng tok
Nìftxan nì'awtu

Zerok tsayayoti srak?
Tswerayon mì saw
Po kolar oeru (I thought I heard them sing "He taught to me", which makes sense seeing the next line)
'ut a tsun livu fpom (again, -pe+ is not allowed here, also you need <iv> with tsun)

Pefya tsun oe rivey (<iv>)
Pefya tsun oe rivey
Mì oeyä fìtseng tok
Nìftxan nì'awtu

[...]

Hey, that's a pretty nice song and a good shot at translating it. I have corrected a few things in the quote above.

[Blue Elf]

Nice piece of work! Ok, I'll also try to make some corection, but note, that that I'm more focused on grammar than to keep it singable. Also I minimize infix usage, we can add some later, if result will be too short to sing. Also - translate meaning, not just words. So:

Pefya oe tsun rivey (tsun = modal, requires <iv> in cotrolled verb)

Oel tsole'a yayot(i)
a tswayon mì saw  --> no infix needed, also "atswusayon mì saw" could work
Pol nolìn oeti
Pelun oe newomum
Kxawm pol omum futa
Oe nì'awtu lu nìtxan --> nìftxan can't be used, it is for comparison (oe sìltsan lu nìftxan na nga). Fìtxan works too

R:
Pefya oe tsun rivey
Pefya oe tsun rivey
Mì oeyä kelku
Nì'awtu nìtxan

Oel tse'a tawtskxeti
nìkxayl mì saw --> it think adverb should be here
Tsal lam na oe
Steng na oe --> similar to me

R:

Krr a oe 'ewan lolu (pe is allowed otside questions, but I prefer to avoid that)
Ayu sìltsan lu nì'ul --> things were better; no need to repeat infix
Set oe tsawl slu  --> or: Set oe fyeyntu lu - now I am adult)
Tìrey ngäzìk lu nì'ul --> life is more difficult

R:

Zerok tsayayoti srak?
Po tswayon mì saw
Po polängkxo oehu
teri 'u a tsun livu fpom (too long )

R:

Now, can some singer try it and say where text doesn't fit into melody?

[Kamean]

Love it.

[hemmond]

Song itself is really nice, Lyrics seems singable also (but correct that mistakes written above. )... Maybe it wouldn't be bad if someone really sing it.