Help with translation! Please!

[Blue Elf]

hey again. besides the regular corrections I thought of something else. perhaps Säfpìltu will be much better than Fpìlyu Ayuä Amip. what do you think? and don't forget to tell me if there's something other to correct in my translations.

Oh, you are really good! I think Fpìlyu Ayuä Amip is person, who invents new things, so it exactly fits to Inventor. Säfpìltu is thinker - what can be interpreted like philosopher, what doesn't fit well. I'd leave it as it is.
I'll try to read your translations, it is always surprising to me what can be said nìNa'vi even when words are missing....

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

säfpìltu is "man of ideas", not "man of thoughts" (säfpìl=idea) so I think it fits here.

[Blue Elf]

säfpìltu is "man of ideas", not "man of thoughts" (säfpìl=idea) so I think it fits here.

Ok, in Czech it sounds a little different, but according to English dictionary you're right

I have read the story (not whole yet) and I have some questions and proposals:
- 1st paragrah, 1st clause - why pum is used? It connect to nouns or pronouns, but alahe is adjective. Am i missing something?
- 3rd clause: a mì sa'u sounds weird (agree with Canborundum), I'd delete it
- last one: ...txarmula lora ..... Txul is a verb, not adjective

- 2nd paragraph, what about some simple changes:
... futa po tsun rivun peyä fya'ot fa ayatan sìn taw. Tanhì and mì is repeated often, so why not to use different words once?
...tsakrr tsun kivä few txampay 'änsyem.

-3rd paragraph - I propose fruit = kalina fkxen. Vegetables aren't sweet (except sweet potatoes), fruits are, so I think it is not bad idea.
Krr a nolìn fì'ut, tsole'a tsata mìsìn vultsyìp lamu kalina fkxen a ke tsame'a kawkrr.

-5th paragraph: what about this:
Fpìlyu Ayuä Amip harmeyn kelkumì sneyä, hu ayvozama aysäfpìl sì mipa ayu a ke lu ftue.
vozam = 01000, so we can use it as thousand
...po fpolìl san txantsan! Oel rìmun 'ut a kin ayoel sìk.

I didn't manage to do more, I'll try next time

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

why pum is used? It connect to nouns or pronouns, but alahe is adjective. Am i missing something?

pum means "one" as in "I like the red shirt more than the green one".

3rd clause: a mì sa'u sounds weird (agree with Canborundum), I'd delete it

already deleted it. I have the corrected form on my computer and if you want I will post it here.

last one: ...txarmula lora ..... Txul is a verb, not adjective

the verb is txula, not "txul".

2nd paragraph, what about some simple changes:
... futa po tsun rivun peyä fya'ot fa ayatan sìn taw. Tanhì and mì is repeated often, so why not to use different words once?
...tsakrr tsun kivä few txampay 'änsyem.

first of all, sìn is not "on, in" but it's meaning is "onto" (similar to "into) so it does not work here. second ayatan is "lights" which doesn't neccessarily means the stars so sanhì is better. third, 'änsyem means "complete" as "not broken".

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

didn't have enough space on the previous reply so I'm continuing here.

3rd paragraph - I propose fruit = kalina fkxen. Vegetables aren't sweet (except sweet potatoes), fruits are, so I think it is not bad idea.
Krr a nolìn fì'ut, tsole'a tsata mìsìn vultsyìp lamu kalina fkxen a ke tsame'a kawkrr.

not all fruits are sweet. consider lemon, grapefruit etc. and it doesn't really matter if it was a fruit or a vegetable. the point is that it's an edible plant. about the sìn I already explained.

5th paragraph: what about this:
Fpìlyu Ayuä Amip harmeyn kelkumì sneyä, hu ayvozama aysäfpìl sì mipa ayu a ke lu ftue.

I'm not sure if we can use numbers with plural prefix since they are adjectives. and also my version is just shorter.

...po fpolìl san txantsan! Oel rìmun 'ut a kin ayoel sìk.

at that moment he hasn't yet found the invention, he just knew he had it.


but thanks anyway for trying and caring.

[Blue Elf]

Please post the current version.
About pum - well, I probably understand now. Not too clear in the dictionary
Txula - going to change menari oeyä
sìn: adp. on, onto - It has both meanings, I think. But decision is on you.
Ayatan - text says: .. using the lights on the sky. Not exactly stars, althought in fact they are, but I'm trying to avoid using the same word too many times.
'änsyem - exact meaning is not clear from the dictionary, although you are probably right. I'm using both Czech and English dictionary, what sometimes lead to ambiguity.

I'm not sure if we can use numbers with plural prefix since they are adjectives

I'm not sure too, but we can use single thousand

[Blue Elf]

Katxi,

I am in my final year of university at UWE, Bristol in the UK. For my final year project i am working on a multilingual story that needs to be translated into as many languages as we can get, and one language that we need is Na'vi.

BTW, ma 7tounges, aren't you interested in Czech translation? I can do it - send me a PM if you want (sorry for offtopic)

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

look, "onto" is used when something wasn't on something else but reached there in some way (see that "to" in "onto"?). example: put the glass onto the table.
"on" is used when something has already been on something else but it also can be used like "onto".
it's just like the difference between "in" and "into".
about ayatan, I I understand that you can also find your way with the sun, but the story says that the astronomer discovered this form of navigation at night.
and about 'änsyem, I have just checked the Russian dictionary to compare it's meaning to the English one, and the meaning is indeed "complete, done". I think it's a synonyme to "hasey".

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

here is the complete and corrected form of the story. I have changed all the "Fpìlyu Ayuä Amip"s into "Säfpìltu"s. also, the third and fourth paragraphs were least corrected so check them please.


Mì kamtseng txampayä lu hì'ia atxkxe a tamok tsìnga tutanìl a kawkrr ke poltxe hu pum alahe. Sanhìyä Ftiayu, Ewllä Vewngyu, Säfpìltu sì Txulayu Utralfa. Fratrr Sanhìyä Ftiayul rarmun ayvurit a pamrel sawni mì aysanhì, Ewllä Vewngyul varmewng sneyä ewllit, Säfpìltul ngarmop aysä'ot a eltur tìtxen si ulte Txulayul Utralfa txarmula lora ayut fa ayutral sì ayskxe.

'awlie mì ton tengkrr nari tarmìng sanhìr , tsole'a Sanhìyä Ftiayul futa po tsun rivun sneyä fya'ot fa sanhì mì saw. Tsakrr pol fpolìl futa txo tsivun kivä few hì'ia atxkxe, tsakrr tsayun kivä few txampay nìwotx. Slä tslolam pol futa txampay lu apxa nìtxan, ulte fte kivä few tsa'u pol kayin txana syuvet. Ha kolä ne kelku Ewllä Vewngyuä.

Trr akinä sre fì'u, Ewllä Vewngyul varmewng sneyä ewllit ulte tsakrr yayol a tswarmayon io po tolungzup vultsyìpit ta kxa peyä. Ewllä Vewngyuri vultsyìp zolup mevenulok. Krr a nolìn fì'ut, tsole'a tsata mì vultsyìp lamu fkxen a ke tsame'a kawkrr. Tsakrr po fpolìl san kxawm lu tseng a mì sa'u lu pxaya ayfkxen amip a tsayun oe vivewng sìk.
Ha krr a Sanhìyä Ftiayul poleng Ewllä Vewngyuru sneyä tìhawlit, pol fpolìl tsata fì'u lu txantsana säfpìl. Slä Ewllä Vewngyul tslolam futa txampay lu nìtxan apxa ulte mefol kayin fya'ot few tsa'u. ha kolä mefo ne kelku Säfpìltuä.

Säfpìltu harmeyn kelkumì sneyä, pxaya aysäfpìlhu a ke lu ftue.
Krr a Sanhìyä Ftiayu sì Ewllä Vewngyu poleng poru teri säfpìl mesneyä po fpolìl san txantsan! 'u a kin ayoel oeru lu sìk.
Po fwamew pxaya säfpìlkxamlä ulte rolun pum.
San fì'u lu sìk poltxe Fpìlyu ulte tsakrr poltxe san slä awngal kayin tuteot a txayula fì'ut. Ätxäle sivi Txulayur Utralfa ko sìk. Ha pxefo kolä ne kelku Txulayuä Utralfa.

[Blue Elf]

about ayatan, I I understand that you can also find your way with the sun, but the story says that the astronomer discovered this form of navigation at night.

Ok, select what is best for you. I'm just giving proposes which can and don't have to be accepted

I print your complete story a try to check it. First thought - I just noticed peng is transitive, so clauses like
Ha krr a Sanhìyä Ftiayulìl poleng Ewllä Vewngyuru sneyä tìhawlit, pol ... need correction.

I started with another paragraph, I hope I'll be able to send something new at this night.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

you are right about tìhawl but Ftiayu is already agentive. I only forgot the patientive on tìhawl.
-corrected.

[Blue Elf]

you are right about tìhawl but Ftiayu is already agentive. I only forgot the patientive on tìhawl.
-corrected.

Oh, my menari! I probably need glasses
See the 1st paragraph: ... tsìnga tutanìl ... - why singular is here, when they are four? Shouldn'i it be  sutanìl ?
2nd paragraph - ... nari tarmìng sanhìr, ... - I'm not sure if we can move nari before tìng, I'd write tarmìng nari
4th one - Säfpìltu harmeyn kelkumì - maybe Säfpìltu harmeyn ro helku is a little better.
Krr a Sanhìyä Ftiayul sì Ewllä Vewngyul poleng - same as in my previous post.
San fì'u lu oeru sìk poltxe Fpìlyu, ulte tsakrr poltxe san slä awngal ..... Ätxäle sivi Txulayur .... - I think oeru is missing, clause looks incomplete. Deleted second poltxe - it doesn't look well if same word is repeatedly used in one clause. Why sivi is needed? I think ätxäle si ko is enough

Now going to finish my translation, give me some more time...

[omängum fra'uti]

See the 1st paragraph: ... tsìnga tutanìl ... - why singular is here, when they are four? Shouldn'i it be  sutanìl ?

When the number is given explicitly, the noun itself takes no plural forms.

[Blue Elf]

See the 1st paragraph: ... tsìnga tutanìl ... - why singular is here, when they are four? Shouldn'i it be  sutanìl ?

When the number is given explicitly, the noun itself takes no plural forms.

Irayo si, ma tsmukan. What about many - like many days? Is it pxaya trr or aytrr apxay or something different?

Here's my translation:
Krr a pxefo zola'u ke Txulayu Utralfa, poru lu pxiset haseya tìtxula alora frato.
Sanhìyä Ftiayul, Ewllä Vewngyul sì Säfpìltul poleng Txulayur teri säfpìl pxesneyä ulte ätxäle si ftxey po txìyevula Säfpìltuä mipa 'u (dirty thought: eltur tìtxena 'u). Txulayu Utralfa molte ulte pol sngeykolä'i tìkangkemit pxiswaway (or pxiset).

Tsa'u namekx pxaya kintrr, Txulayul ayutralit mamun'i tengkrr Säfpìltul kem soli tìsteftxaw amuiä. Ewllä Vewngyul varmewng ewllit sì fkxenit ulte Sanhìyä Ftiayul ngarmop atxkxerelit aysneyä fya'o fa sanhì mì saw.

Here I run out of power, I'll finish it tomorrow.
Feel free to correct / change it as you like. Entering my bed.

Edit: I found a word for "week" at Naviteri and correctected in the text

[omängum fra'uti]

Irayo si, ma tsmukan. What about many - like many days? Is it pxaya trr or aytrr apxay or something different?

Same, it takes the singular form, though colloquially it may be used with the plural.  (And ay+trr becomes aysrr)

[Blue Elf]

Last paragraph:
Maw krr fo 'ami'a  hu sìp a txusula nìlor,  tìkan sneyä fya'o sì  hìmtxan syuvetä fte fmival feyä sìreyit. Ha fo slamele alìm fte rivun kifkeyit 'awsiteng mì/ro ..... vur.

I hope my text is not completely nonsensical, although I'm aware that some parts are lame in at least two legs (but on Pandora, most species have six of them )
Please correct it and compile final version

[Plumps]

From Blue Elf
Last paragraph:
Maw krr (I'd say nì'i'a) fo 'ami'a (now we have: hasey si) hu sìpur atxawnula nìlor, for lamu tìkan (sneyä fya'o) sì hìmtxan syuvetä fte fmival feyä sìreyit (you mean tìsopit, maybe? ). Ha fo slamele (sngamä'i or fol sngeykamä'i sneyä tìsopit) alìm fte rivun kifkeyit 'awsiteng mì/ro ketsukspawa vur.
incredible, new prefix : believe = spaw, believable = tsukspaw, unbelievable = ketsukspaw ... although I'm sure there's a slight difference in meaning between incredible and unbelievable ... at least in English.

[Blue Elf]

Irayo si for corrections, ma Plumps. So repaired version is:

Nì'i'a fo hamasey si sìpur atxawnula nìlor, for lamu tìkan sneyä fya'o sì hìmtxan syuvetä fte fmival feyä sìreyit/tìsopit.
Last part of sentence was intended as: "... amount of meal to keep their lives" (to survive their journey), but it seems that "...amount of meal to sustain their journey" is possible too. I didn't found hasey si in current dictionary, although in Czech translation we have it.... It has not marked transitivity, but I think in this case it behaves as transitive verb, so shouldn't it be:
Nì'i'a fol hamasey si sìpit ... ?

In Czech, incredible and unbelievable translates into the same word although incredible has more meanings, so there is difference, but I think we can use ketsukspaw safely.

[Plumps]

I didn't found hasey si in current dictionary, although in Czech translation we have it.... It has not marked transitivity, but I think in this case it behaves as transitive verb, so shouldn't it be:
Nì'i'a fol hamasey si sìpit ... ?

Actually, all si verbs are intransitive by default
And all infixes go in the si part of the compound, in your case: fo hasey sami sìpur atxawnula nìlor
Come to think of it, I'm not sure whether the nìlor part refers really to atxawnula or to the main verb of the sentence, hasey si. The 'problem' is that "beautifully built/crafted ship" works as a huge adjective with the beautifully describing the way the ship is/was crafted. Maybe nìfya'o alor is safer here? I call on to the linguists

[omängum fra'uti]

Actually, all si verbs are intransitive by default
And all infixes go in the si part of the compound, in your case: fo hasey sami sìpur atxawnula nìlor
Come to think of it, I'm not sure whether the nìlor part refers really to atxawnula or to the main verb of the sentence, hasey si. The 'problem' is that "beautifully built/crafted ship" works as a huge adjective with the beautifully describing the way the ship is/was crafted. Maybe nìfya'o alor is safer here? I call on to the linguists

I'd say that adverbs are referring to the verb of the clause, not a participle.  I think the best you could do is sìp a tsat fkol txula nìlor.  It's really only 1 syllable longer, and it is perfectly ok.  (I think there was at one point a question about it, but I don't recall if it was answered or not, however I'm pretty sure I've never heard it said it was acceptable, and it would seem quite odd given the rest of Na'vi grammar.)