Help with translation! Please!

[7tounges]

Katxi,

I am in my final year of university at UWE, Bristol in the UK. For my final year project i am working on a multilingual story that needs to be translated into as many languages as we can get, and one language that we need is Na'vi.

If anyone would be willing to help it would be greatly apreciated. The story that needs to be translated is attached to this message, it isn't very long. Also as the project progresses, there will also be more oppertunities for further envolvement for anyone interested.

For anymore information on the project please feel free to contact us at [email protected]

Irayo Will

[Txonä Unil Stä'nìyu Rolyusì]

Well that looks like it would be a tricky story to translate, but I'm willing to help. Hopefully we'll get some more people on board with this

-Txonä Rolyu

[Plumps]

Nì'awve, it would help if it wasn't a .docx

['Oma Tirea]

Tsun tivam.  Here's what I got out of it

[Ikran Ahiyìk]

Why not just directly copy the contents here?

Spoiler

7tongues.

In the centre of the ocean there is an Island and on that Island there were four men that never spoke to each other. An Astronomer, a Farmer, an Inventor and a Carpenter. Each day the Astronomer would find stories written in the stars, the farmer would tend to his crops, the inventor would create fascinating tools and toys, and the carpenter would carve masterpieces out of the trees and stone.

One night whilst gazing at the stars the Astrologer saw that he could navigate his way from one end of the Island to the other using the lights in the sky. He then thought, "If I get from one side of the island to the other then why can't I go across the whole ocean?" But he realised that the ocean was very big, and to travel across it he would need lots of food for the journey. So he went to the farmer.

A week before the farmer was tending to his crops when a bird flying over head dropped a twig from its mouth, and it landed at the farmers feet. When he bent down to pick it up he noticed that at the tip of the branch there was a fruit that he had never seen before. He then thought, "Maybe there is a place where there are lots of new fruit and vegetables that I could learn how farm? "
So when the Astrologer told the farmer his plan he thought it was a great idea. But the farmer realised that the ocean was very big and that he would need a way to get across it. So they went to the inventor.

The inventor was sitting in is house, surrounded by thousands of pieces of paper with thousands of inventions on them each one getting more and more complicated as they went on.
When the Astrologer and the Farmer had told him about their idea he thought; "Fantastic! I've got just the thing."
So he looked through the mountains of paper until he found one that was right at the bottom of the tallest pile.
"Got it!" Said the inventor, "But we'll need someone to build it, lets ask the carpenter."  So they went to the carpenter.

When they got to the carpenter he had just finished carving the most beautiful statue and the Astrologer, the farmer and the inventor told the carpenter about their idea and asked him if he would build the inventors contraption.  The carpenter agreed and started work immediately.

It took them weeks, the carpenter cut down trees and carved the wood whilst the inventor made the right measurements. The farmer farmed the crops and the Astronomer mapped out their journey using the stars in the sky.
They finally finished with a beautifully crafted ship, a direction to go and plenty of food to last them the journey. So they set off to explore the world together on an incredible adventure.....

I'm afraid that we're still lacking of vocabulary..

[Txonä Unil Stä'nìyu Rolyusì]

I'm afraid that we're still lacking of vocabulary..

That's what I'm afraid of too.

-Txonä Rolyu

[7tounges]

Hi everyone,

thanks for haveing a look at it. Im sorry that you feel that you lack the vocabulary to complete it. If it helps you can change the words, but only as long as the meaning stay the same. For example 'astrologer' could be changed to 'star mapper' which i guess would be some sort of variation of 'tanhì-atxkxerel'.

I hope you have fun with it.

Thanks again for your help.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

I like the story. the idea is nice.
but there's one thing that bothers me-sometimes it says astronomer and sometimes astrologer. which one?

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

so I tried to translate the first paragraph and this is what I got. it's really weird in some places so ask if you did not understand something, and of course correct me since I'm sure I have a few mistakes. also I would like to hear any suggestions you have.

Mì kxamtseng txampayä lu hì'ia atxkxe a tolok tsìnga tutanìl a kawkrr ke poltxe hu ____.
Sanhìyä Ftiayu, Wllä Tsawl Sleykuyu, Mipa Ayuä Fpìlyu sì Txulayu Utralfa. Fratrr a mì tsa'u Sanhìyä Ftiayul rarmun ayvurit pawnamrel mì sanhì, Wllä Tsawl Sleykuyul varmewng peyä aywllit, Mipa Ayuä Fpìlyul ngarmop lewoua aysä'ot ulte Txulayul Utralfa txarmula lora ayut fa ayutral sì ayskxe.

[7tounges]

I like the story. the idea is nice.
but there's one thing that bothers me-sometimes it says astronomer and sometimes astrologer. which one?

yeah, sorry about that. I must have uploaded the wrong version of the story.

Its supose to be astrologer.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

well, we just have to wait for some opinions to come.
in the meantime, I will translate the second paragraph, but I'm playing with my brother so it might take time until I have time.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

well, I have finished with the second paragraph. but we will need to hear some opinions about them both before you can use them.

'awlie mì txon tengkrr nari tarmìng sanhìr , tsole'a Sanhìyä Ftiayul futa po tsun rivun peyä fya'ot fa sanhì mì taw. Tsakrr pol fpolìl futa txo tsun kivä few hì'ia atxkxe, tsakrr tsun kivä few txampay nìwotx. Slä tslolam pol futa txampay lu nìtxan apxa, ulte fte kivä few tsa'u pol kayin txana syuvet. Ha kola ne kelku Wllä Tsawl sleykuyuä.

[Plumps]

Mì kam(tseng) txampayä lu hì'ia atxkxe a tolok tsìnga tutanìl a kawkrr ke poltxe hu pum alahe.

Hopefully, we will have a construct for "each other" soon. Until then, this is the best I can think of although it is ambiguous.
Remember, mì+ causes lenition!

Sanhìyä Ftiayu, Ewllä Vewngyu (Tsawl Sleykuyu), Mipa Ayuä Fpìlyu sì Txulayu Utralfa.

Maybe txulayu will suffice.
The short plural of 'ewll is ewll, the e doesn't disappear.

Fratrr a mì sa'u Sanhìyä Ftiayul rarmun ayvurit a pawnamrel soli fko mì sanhì, Ewllä Vewngyul (Tsawl Sleykuyul) varmewng sneyä ayewllit, Mipa Ayuä Fpìlyul ngarmop lewoua aysä'ot a eltur tìtxen si ulte Txulayul (Utralfa) txarmula lora ayut fa ayutral sì ayskxe.

pamrel is a noun, you can't stick infixes in this. ayvurit apamrel-sawni would be possible, ,,written stories"
sneyä to make it clear that it's ,,his own"

'awlie mì ton tengkrr nari tarmìng sanhìr, tsole'a Sanhìyä Ftiayul futa po tsun rivun sneyä fya'ot fa sanhì mì saw.

Again, lenition. And sneyä

Tsakrr pol fpolìl futa txo tsivun kivä few hì'ia atxkxe, tsakrr tsayun kivä few txampay nìwotx.

I am not sure whether one would not use san ... sìk for what he thought. It's not a direct quote of what he said but what he thinks. But still ... direct quote which looks like san ... sìk for me. This would then be: Tsakrr po fpolìl san txo tsivun oe/fko kivä few hì'ia atxkxe, tsakrr tsayun (oe/fko) kivä few txampay nìwotx sìk. Since the subject is clear from the first sentence, the second doesn't need to restate oe or fko

Slä tslolam pol futa txampay lu apxa nìtxan, ulte fte kivä few tsa'u pol kayin txana syuvet. Ha kolä ne kelku Ewllä Vewngyu (Tsawl sleykuyuä).

Frommer tends to put the adverb at the end of a sentence which is why I changed the word order here.

[Carborundum]

Fratrr a mì sa'u Sanhìyä Ftiayul rarmun ayvurit a pawnamrel soli fko mì sanhì, Ewllä Vewngyul (Tsawl Sleykuyul) varmewng sneyä ayewllit, Mipa Ayuä Fpìlyul ngarmop lewoua aysä'ot a eltur tìtxen si ulte Txulayul (Utralfa) txarmula lora ayut fa ayutral sì ayskxe.

pamrel is a noun, you can't stick infixes in this. ayvurit apamrel-sawni would be possible, ,,written stories"
sneyä to make it clear that it's ,,his own"

Also, AFAIK it has not been confirmed that intransitive verbs have passive participles.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

thanks a lot guys. ma Carborundum, the imperfective is there because there are several actions happening at the same time. also ma Plumps, I don't think "Txulayu" is enough since then it will be a builder whereas the story says he's a carpenter.

here is the corrected form:

Mì kamtseng txampayä lu hì'ia atxkxe a tolok tsìnga tutanìl a kawkrr ke poltxe hu pum alahe. Sanhìyä Ftiayu, Ewllä Vewngyu, Mipa Ayuä Fpìlyu sì Txulayu Utralfa. Fratrr a mì sa'u Sanhìyä Ftiayul rarmun ayvurit a pamrel sawni mì aysanhì, Ewllä Vewngyul varmewng sneyä ewllit, Mipa Ayuä Fpìlyul ngarmop aysä'ot a eltur tìtxen si ulte Txulayul Utralfa txarmula lora ayut fa ayutral sì ayskxe.

'awlie mì ton tengkrr nari tarmìng sanhìr , tsole'a Sanhìyä Ftiayul futa po tsun rivun sneyä fya'ot fa sanhì mì saw. Tsakrr pol fpolìl futa txo tsivun kivä few hì'ia atxkxe, tsakrr tsayun kivä few txampay nìwotx. Slä tslolam pol futa txampay lu apxa nìtxan, ulte fte kivä few tsa'u pol kayin txana syuvet. Ha kolä ne kelku Ewllä Vewngyuä.

[Carborundum]

thanks a lot guys. ma Carborundum, the imperfective is there because there are several actions happening at the same time. also ma Plumps, I don't think "Txulayu" is enough since then it will be a builder whereas the story says he's a carpenter.

here is the corrected form:

Mì kamtseng txampayä lu hì'ia atxkxe a tolok tsìnga tutanìl a kawkrr ke poltxe hu pum alahe. Sanhìyä Ftiayu, Ewllä Vewngyu, Mipa Ayuä Fpìlyu sì Txulayu Utralfa. Fratrr a mì sa'u Sanhìyä Ftiayul rarmun ayvurit a pamrel sawni mì aysanhì, Ewllä Vewngyul varmewng sneyä ewllit, Mipa Ayuä Fpìlyul ngarmop aysä'ot a eltur tìtxen si ulte Txulayul Utralfa txarmula lora ayut fa ayutral sì ayskxe.

'awlie mì ton tengkrr nari tarmìng sanhìr , tsole'a Sanhìyä Ftiayul futa po tsun rivun sneyä fya'ot fa sanhì mì saw. Tsakrr pol fpolìl futa txo tsivun kivä few hì'ia atxkxe, tsakrr tsayun kivä few txampay nìwotx. Slä tslolam pol futa txampay lu apxa nìtxan, ulte fte kivä few tsa'u pol kayin txana syuvet. Ha kolä ne kelku Ewllä Vewngyuä.

*Fratrr a mì sa'u is weird because fratrr is an adverb, not a noun. Simply use fratrr by itself.
It also looks slightly odd to me when you switch from past-imperfective to prestent-perfective between the two first paragraphs.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

by fratrr a mì sa'u I mean "every day which in it...". I don't know any other way to say it.
about the tense-aspect changes, I haven't used the <am> infix because I think from the first paragraph it is clear that the story is in the past. also I used the perfective infix because every action which happens in the second paragraph is perfective.

[Carborundum]

by fratrr a mì sa'u I mean "every day which in it...". I don't know any other way to say it.

I don't see why you would want to say it in the first place.

about the tense-aspect changes, I haven't used the <am> infix because I think from the first paragraph it is clear that the story is in the past. also I used the perfective infix because every action which happens in the second paragraph is perfective.

The thing with with aspects is that switching between them can easily pull a reader out of the story. Just as with tenses, it's usually best to decide on one and stick with it throughout the text. This isn't a hard rule, obviously; it's definitely possible to change both tense and aspect in a narrative. It just has to be done very carefully.

I've thought about this particular case some more, and I think past-imperfective actually works really well in the first paragraph. What doesn't work at all however, is this piece:

Mì kamtseng txampayä lu hì'ia atxkxe a tolok tsìnga tutanìl a kawkrr ke poltxe hu pum alahe

Here you are portraying the men's being on the island in perfective aspect, signalling that it's a finished state. When you then continue the next sentence by describing what happened while the men were on the island, it creates a very jarring break in the flow of the story. Go with simple past tamok instead.

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

by fratrr a mì sa'u I mean "every day which in it...". I don't know any other way to say it.

I don't see why you would want to say it in the first place.

the story clearly says "each day the Astronomer.......".

Mì kamtseng txampayä lu hì'ia atxkxe a tolok tsìnga tutanìl a kawkrr ke poltxe hu pum alahe

Here you are portraying the men's being on the island in perfective aspect, signalling that it's a finished state. When you then continue the next sentence by describing what happened while the men were on the island, it creates a very jarring break in the flow of the story. Go with simple past tamok instead.

but the four men aren't on the island anymore (as the end of the story states). I want the reader to understand that the men aren't on it anymore.

[Carborundum]

by fratrr a mì sa'u I mean "every day which in it...". I don't know any other way to say it.

I don't see why you would want to say it in the first place.

the story clearly says "each day the Astronomer.......".

Yes, well, each day = everyday. Why wouldn't just using fratrr without modification work?

but the four men aren't on the island anymore (as the end of the story states). I want the reader to understand that the men aren't on it anymore.

Consider the underlined part. The end of the story isn't the beginning of the story. The beginning only says that they 'were on the island', not that they had left.