My First Na'vi Book :3

[Stranger Come Knocking]

Yes, I am still quite a newbie, but I felt the need to create a little booklet of basic phrases arranged in some sort of makeshift story.  My First Na'vi Book addresses basic phrases, simple sentence structure, possession, and adjectives, all while describing very basic aspects of Pandora that would be nearly impossible to miss.  However, before I unleash my creation upon the world, I would love it if someone could go through and correct grammar errors.  My primary concern is the page about Toruk Makto, but I know there are others.

The images got just a little fuzzy when I saved it as a PDF, but they are clear enough. All intended translations are found on the last few pages.

EDIT: 03.23.11 - Fixed the PDF so everything shows up.

[MIPP]

1st and 2nd page: I would write "Oeyä 'awvea puk nìNa'vi
3rd page: (...) Oel new wivìntxu oeyä tìreyit.
5th page (...) Poan lu sìltsana taronyu; Ulte oe lu sìltsana 'ite.
6th page (...)Poel 'em ftxìlora syuvet; Oe nìteng
tìyawn si 'em - I would rewrite this whole sentence as: Tì'usem suneiu oer
7th page (...) Poan new slivu sìltsana tsamsiyu; Poan laryu sìltsana tsamsiyu.
9th page (...) Lu por ayoe
syaw Kelutral - I did not understand; Kelutral lu tsawla utral.

And I stopped reading, I am working in a project of mine, but I will read it later! 

P.s.: Nice graphics!

[Le'eylan]

3rd page: (...) Oe new wivìntxu oeyä tìreyit.

Actually there shouldn't be an -l on the oe.

[Stranger Come Knocking]

1st and 2nd page: I would write "Oeyä 'awvea puk nìNa'vi

I thought you didn't add a when dealing with numbers?

3rd page: (...) Oe new wivìntxu oeyä tìreyit.

Actually there shouldn't be an -l on the oe.

That's what I thought, too. >.>

6th page (...)Poel 'em ftxìlora syuvet; Oe nìteng
tìyawn si 'em - I would rewrite this whole sentence as: Tì'usem suneiu oer

Is the original sentence actually/wrong/?  Could it be fixed in a simple way?  I mean, I understand the Tì'usem suneiu oer, but I want to make everything as simple as possible, hence the repetitiveness.

9th page (...) Lu por ayoe syaw Kelutral - I did not understand

(This is our home.)  We call it Hometree.

P.s.: Nice graphics!

Irayo, ma MIPP.

[eejmensenikbenhet]

I like your way of learning: writing a short story. But I noticed some mistakes:

"Oeyä 'awve puk leNa'vi" should be: "Oeyä 'awvea puk nìNa'vi"

"Oeyä 'amve puk leNa'vi" should be: "Oeyä 'awvea puk nìNa'vi"

"Kaltxì, ketuwong! Oer syaw Amhul!" should be: "Kaltxì, ma ketuwong! Oer fko syaw Amhul!"

"Fyafo lu soaia oeyä." should be: "Fayfo lu soaia oeyä."

"Lu sempulur oeyä syaw Ateyo." should be: "Fko sempulur oeyä syaw Ateyo."
"Lu sa'nokur oeyä syaw Tsenu." the same as above
"Lu tsmukanur oeyä syaw Kamun." the same as above
"Lu tsmuker oeyä syaw Tuke." the same as above
"Ulte lu oeru syaw Amhul!" the same as above

"Lu poanur syaw Ateyo." change Lu into Fko
"Poan lu sìltsan taronyu." should be "Poan lu sìltsana taronyu."
"Ulte oe lu sìltsan 'ite." the same as above

"Lu poer syaw Tsenu." change Lu into Fko
"Poel 'em ftxìlor syuvet." should be "Poel 'em ftxìlora syuvet."
"Oe nìteng tìyawn si 'em." should be "Oeru nìteng 'em yawne lu."

"Lu poanur syaw Kamun." change Lu into Fko
"Poan new slivu sìltsan tsamsiyu." should be: "Poan new slivu sìltsana tsamsiyu."
"Poan laryu sìltsan tsamsiyu."should be "Poan laryu sìltsana tsamsiyu."

"Lu poer syaw Tuke." change Lu into Fko

"Fitsengìl tok kelkut ayoeyä." should be "Fìtsenge lu kelku ayoeyä."
"Fitsengìl tok kelkut ayoeyä. Lu por ayoe syaw Kelutral." should be "Fìtsenge lu kelku ayoeyä. Tsaru ayoe syaw Kelutral."
"Kelutral lu tsawl utral. Tìwotxa olo'ìl kelku si tok mì Helutralit." should be "Kelutral lu tsawla utral. Olo'ìl nìwotx kelku si mì Helutral."
"Oel kelku si tok mì Helutralit hu soaiar oeyä." should be "Oel kelku si mì Helutral hu soaia oeyä."

"Ayikran lu txantur ayioang." should be "Ayikran lu txantura ayioang."
"Ayikran lu kop tsun tswivayon." should be "Ayikran kop tsun tswivayon."
"Lu poan syaw Tstunwi." should be "Fko poanur syaw Tstunwi."

"Ayfalulukan lu txur sì lesti ayioang." should be "Ayfalulukan lu ayioang alu txur sì lesti."

"Ngal ke new ultxivarun nantangit mì tonur." should be "Nga ke new ultxarivun nantangit mì ton."

"Aytamsiyul makto ayfot nemfa tsamur." should be "Aysamsiyul makto ayfot nemfa tsam."

"Fi'u Toruk Makto." should be "Fi'u toruk."
"Fi'u Toruk Makto!" should be "Fì'u lu toruk."
"Toruk Makto frato nawm ikran lu." should be "Toruk nawm frato ikran lu."
"Toruk Makto lu tun, rim sì ean." should be "Toruk lu tun sì rim sì ean."

EDIT: corrected a few mistakes of myself, noticed by Plumps

[MIPP]

3rd page: (...) Oe new wivìntxu oeyä tìreyit.

Actually there shouldn't be an -l on the oe.

I thought it should as "wìntxu" is being considered a transitive verb in the sentence...

[Tswusayona Tsamsiyu]

yes but the oe in this sentence "wants". this is what he does, and since he wants to do something he has no patient. still, the tìreyit should be a patient but his agent (his oe) is a hidden agent.

[Plumps]

Ma Tanhì,
Great idea and the little Na'vi pictures are very cute and connect the learner with the sentences.

"Oe nìteng tìyawn si 'em." should be "Oeru nìteng 'em yawne lu."

Somewhat dubious construction.
Not sure about it but I'm thinking of tì'usem sunu oer nìteng

"Poe new slivu taronyu." should be "Poeìl new slivu taronyut(i)."

Actually, it should not Except you want to use it with futa: Poel new futa slivu taronyu.
slu is intransitive, so Tanhì was right there

"Fitsengìl tok kelkut ayoeyä." should be "Fitsenge lu kelku ayoeyä."

only thing, it's fìtsenge

"Fitsengìl tok kelkut ayoeyä. Lu por ayoe syaw Kelutral." should be "Fitsenge lu kelku ayoeyä. Tsatur ayoe syaw Kelutral."

It's tsaru

"Kelutral lu tsawl utral. Tìwotxa olo'ìl kelku si tok mì Helutralit." should be "Kelutral lu tsawla utral. Olo'ìl nìwotx kelku si mì Helutralit."
"Oel kelku si tok mì Helutralit hu soaiar oeyä." should be "Oel kelku si mì Helutralit hu soaia oeyä."

No case marking after adpositions!

"Ngal ke new ultxivarun nantangit mì tonur." should be "Ngal ke new ultxivarun nantangit mì ton."

Again, either nga ke new ultxarivun... or ngal ke new futa ultxarivun...

[Ftxavanga Txe′lan]

Oh, what an awesome idea! I can't help you with corrections, but thank you for putting your book up because I will use it as a reading practise, and it also inspires me to create something of that kind to learn. Not the same, of course, but the concept is very nice!

[eejmensenikbenhet]

Ma Tanhì,
Great idea and the little Na'vi pictures are very cute and connect the learner with the sentences.

"Oe nìteng tìyawn si 'em." should be "Oeru nìteng 'em yawne lu."

Somewhat dubious construction.
Not sure about it but I'm thinking of tì'usem sunu oer nìteng

"Poe new slivu taronyu." should be "Poeìl new slivu taronyut(i)."

Actually, it should not Except you want to use it with futa: Poel new futa slivu taronyu.
slu is intransitive, so Tanhì was right there

"Fitsengìl tok kelkut ayoeyä." should be "Fitsenge lu kelku ayoeyä."

only thing, it's fìtsenge

"Fitsengìl tok kelkut ayoeyä. Lu por ayoe syaw Kelutral." should be "Fitsenge lu kelku ayoeyä. Tsatur ayoe syaw Kelutral."

It's tsaru

"Kelutral lu tsawl utral. Tìwotxa olo'ìl kelku si tok mì Helutralit." should be "Kelutral lu tsawla utral. Olo'ìl nìwotx kelku si mì Helutralit."
"Oel kelku si tok mì Helutralit hu soaiar oeyä." should be "Oel kelku si mì Helutralit hu soaia oeyä."

No case marking after adpositions!

"Ngal ke new ultxivarun nantangit mì tonur." should be "Ngal ke new ultxivarun nantangit mì ton."

Again, either nga ke new ultxarivun... or ngal ke new futa ultxarivun...

I will edit them in my post so Tanhì only has to look at one place.

[Stranger Come Knocking]

"Aytamsiyul makto ayfot nemfa tsamur." should be "Aysamsiyul makto ayfot nemfa tsam."

But that would be double-lenit, wouldn't it?  tsamsiyul -> tamsiyul

[eejmensenikbenhet]

"Aytamsiyul makto ayfot nemfa tsamur." should be "Aysamsiyul makto ayfot nemfa tsam."

But that would be double-lenit, wouldn't it?  tsamsiyul -> tamsiyul

No, ts lenits to s

[Stranger Come Knocking]

I see. >.> A day late and a dollar short as they say.

Revised version attached to first post.

[eejmensenikbenhet]

I see. >.> A day late and a dollar short as they say.

Revised version attached to first post.

The only line on page 2 is still incorrect
Oeyä 'amvea puk nìNa'vi
Oeyä 'awvea puk nìNa'vi

And I see you didn't change everything?

[Stranger Come Knocking]

The only line on page 2 is still incorrect
Oeyä 'amvea puk nìNa'vi
Oeyä 'awvea puk nìNa'vi

And I see you didn't change everything?

There's a lot to correct. T_T I got the bulk of it done, anyway.  Just narrowing it down.  Were there other mistakes I missed?

[eejmensenikbenhet]

The only line on page 2 is still incorrect
Oeyä 'amvea puk nìNa'vi
Oeyä 'awvea puk nìNa'vi

And I see you didn't change everything?

There's a lot to correct. T_T I got the bulk of it done, anyway.  Just narrowing it down.  Were there other mistakes I missed?

Most of the quotes of Amhul aren't corrected yet. Then I saw the kelku page was not corrected.
But just take it easy and correct the things one by one

[Stranger Come Knocking]

Most of the quotes of Amhul aren't corrected yet. Then I saw the kelku page was not corrected.
But just take it easy and correct the things one by one

I know I corrected them.  I have them right here in Word.  The only thing I (thought) I missed was 'awvea.  Why did it not PDF-ize?

Stupid PDF-izer.  Well, I'll fight with it later.

[Stranger Come Knocking]

All right.  I think I got all the changes to save finally.  But I know I missed a few; my brain was about to asplode from the super long list.  So, whoever lists the ones I missed, please put the page numbers. >.<

"Oe nìteng tìyawn si 'em." should be "Oeru nìteng 'em yawne lu."

Somewhat dubious construction.
Not sure about it but I'm thinking of tì'usem sunu oer nìteng

And when you figure something out for this, please let me know ASAP.
I also like to cook. <-- Wanted

[Kamean]

Txantsan! Ma Tanhì mì Txon, ngeyä puktsyìp sunu oer nìtxan.

[Stranger Come Knocking]

Irayo, ma Kamean. It's not quite ready to be unleashed yet.