Author Topic: Style/Errors  (Read 1016 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Eltu Lefngap Makto

  • Omatikaya
  • ****
  • Posts: 430
  • Karma: 7
  • Eltuti Lefngap Makto ko!
    • Reformed Dude
Style/Errors
« on: November 15, 2011, 12:44:15 pm »
Lamu txantslusam to na'rìngä frayioang a Yawä ngolop eltungawng.
Poltxe muntxateru fayluta srake Yawäl poltxe san zenke yivom menga ta na'rìngä frautral sìk.


The brainworm was wiser than all the animals of the forest which Jah created.  He said to the wife these-words: Did Jah say, "You-two must not eat from any tree of the forest.?"

It's been months since I looked at the language, so I'm trying not to forget everything.  How did I do?
'Ivong, Na'vi!

Offline Blue Elf

  • Palulukan Makto
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 5498
  • cz Czech Republic
  • Karma: 112
    • My attempt for blog
Re: Style/Errors
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2011, 02:38:53 pm »
Lamu txantslusam to na'rìngä frayioang a Yawäl ngolop eltungawngit.
Ngop is transitive, so agentive + patientive case must be used. Also meaning of the sentence is a little different:
Jah created a brainworm which was wiser than all forest animals. To get your meaning, you should use:
Eltungawng lamu txantslusam to na'rìngä frayioang a Yawäl ngolop. (here I'm unsure about agentive)

Poltxe muntxateru fayluta srake Yawäl poltxe san menga zenke yivom ta na'rìngä kea utral sìk.
Poltxe with san/sìk behaves intransitively, so no casing here. As Na'vi can use multiple negation, I changed frautral to kea utral.
Oe lu skxawng skxakep. Slä oe nerume mi.
"Oe tasyätxaw ulte koren za'u oehu" (Limonádový Joe)


Offline Tanri

  • Palulukan Makto
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 1023
  • cz Czech Republic
  • Karma: 25
  • Mìkam aysanhì tìranyu.
Re: Style/Errors
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2011, 03:03:45 pm »
Very good and well understandable, ma ’eylan :), although there are few things I would say differently:

In the first sentence, there is no need for fray-, because fraioang itself means every-animal, which is already effectively a plural form (animals).
Also, I prefer not to insert a subordinate clause (a Yawäl ngolop) in the middle of the main clause, unless it is really necessary, so my version is:
"Eltungawng lamu txantslusam to fraioang na’rìngä a Yawäl ngolop." (agentive needed ;))
The word order "to fraioang na’rìngä" sounds better to me than "to na’rìngä fraioang", but both are correct.

In the second sentence I want only slightly modify Blue Elf's correction:
"Poltxe muntxateru fayluta srake Yawä poltxe san menga zenke yivom ke’ut a ta kea utral na’rìngä sìk.",
because yom needs an object, which we can consequently use as an anchor for subordinate clause "a ta kea utral na’rìngä".
Tìvawmìri txopu rä’ä si. Nrr!

 

Become LearnNavi's friend on Facebook Follow LearnNavi on Twitter! Watch LearnNavi's videos on YouTube

SMF 2.0.15 | SMF © 2017, Simple Machines
Privacy Policy
| XHTML | RSS | WAP2 | Site Rules

LearnNavi is not affiliated with the official Avatar website,
James Cameron, or the Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corporation.
All trademarks and servicemarks are the properties of their respective owners.
Images in the LearnNavi.org Forums and Gallery may not be used without permission.

LearnNavi Affiliates:
ToS

LearnNavi is the community to learn Na'vi, the Avatar Language
"A place where real friendships are made." -Paul Frommer

AvatarMeet | Learn Na'vi Forum | Learn Na'vi Wiki | Na'viteri

LearnNavi