Can we get 90002 posts?

[archaic]

Why does the spam in the artwork have sharp corners, when the spam that comes out of the can has round corners?

 

[archaic]

I have a fanfic that I'm failing to make any real progress on. It's Harry Potter, or rather Albus Severous Potter, It's basically what Cursed Child wasn't. With added Nightfuries.
OK, it's a semi crossover with HtTYD, an over arching prequel, sidequel and sequel to The Dragons Clutch. With a subtle hint that it takes place in the same universe as Lilo and Stitch, none of the main Lilo and Stitch characters appear, but Hogwarts' new headmaster* speaks Hawaiian and is familiar with their customs and culture. Also gets a Christmas card from someone known as 'Bubbles' who lives at the Cedars In Aspen retirement home. Plus, when asked if he'd seen the movie Lilo and Stitch his reply is that he is 'familiar with the story'.

Now here's my dilemma, I've had a scene running round and round my mind, I can't shake it. It has no place in the story, but I've had to write it down to get it out of my head.
Do I post it or not?




*I still don't have a name for him yet.

[Toliman]

Post it!

[archaic]

Spoiler: Nothing to see here.

Sweeping back the hood of his robe with a flourish, Voldermort revealed his face.
"I hope you have made peace with whatever god you may believe in. Avada ..... "
"I not think so."
But this was an unexpected voice, from deeper into the trees. Something emerged into the clearing, small, blue, confident, arrogant almost, and carrying four guns, one in each hand.
"Meega nala kweesta." it said calmly.
" ..... Kedavra."
It hit the small blue creature before it could react. A blinding light, and with a cry, the creature crumpled to the floor, as if a marionette with it's strings abruptly severed.
"What a pointless waste of my time. Now, your turn child, any last words?"
"Err ..... "
"Not especially memorable, but still. Avada Kedavra."
"The light lept from the wand, impacting hard into a black leathery wing flung full stretch into it's path, the Nightfury had returned in the nick of time. The wing lowered. It's owner, of course, unharmed. It was known Nightfuries were partially immune to magic, and wholly immune to certain spells. Voldermort was gone before the dragon's return of fire had crossed the clearing. The clearing, now empty save for the boy, the dragon, and the deceased blue creature.
"Oww." it seamed to say as a last breath escaped from it's lungs.
The dragon turned, padded gently over too it, sniffed and rolled the lifeless corpse tenderly onto it's back.
"Oww!" it seemed to say again, as an absolutely final breath was wrung from the lifeless corpse by the dragon's ministration.
"Oww, oww, oww, oww, oww!" it said, sitting up and cradling it's head in it's hands, it's gut and chest in it's other two hands.
"Are you OK?"
"Naga! Not OK! Everything hurt. Everything hurt! Things hurt that Stitch not know that Stitch have!"
"You're not dead!"
"Thank you for pointing this out." it rubbed a place below one of it's armpits. It looked at the place doubtfully "Gonna ask Jumba what that is. Apart from sore. Yes, sore, very sore."
"But that was the ..... "
"Killing curse, ih."
"You know 'bout that?"
"Have friend, who is wizard."
"Oh."
The creature got carefully to it's feet, noticeably less dead than it had any right to be.
"My name Stitch, Stitch Pelekai." it held out a hand "Please be gentle, painful just now."
"Albus Severus Potter, call me Al."
Al shook the hand, or possibly paw, carefully.  Stitch still had a pained expression.
"Where this?"
"This is the Forbidden Forest."
"And where is Forbidden Forest?"
"Oh, er, Scotland?"
"Scotland, England?"
"That's what Americans call it, but the locals get a it funny about it."
"Oh, uh ..... Where in Scotland?"
"Highlands. Inverness part of the world, and ..... "
"Anywhere near Hogsmead?"
"Err, yeah. Actually."
"Do you know a school there?"
"Hogwarts?" Al sounded blown away that the creature knew so much.
"Ih. Headmaster, is friend."
"You're there! Well, in the grounds, the Forbidden Forrest belongs to Hogwarts."
"Need to see friend, you take me there?"
"Errrrr, OK?"
"You Wizard?"
"I'm a student."
"Your dragon?"
"She lives in the grounds, and that's twice she's saved my life."
"Need be more careful. Yeah, more careful." Stitch, as he picked up his guns, looking each over before holstering it.
The Nightfury chose that moment to spread it's wings and take flight. Almost immediately, it's black form becoming invisible against night sky.
Al lead on, in silence for some time.
"Didn't ask, who was that?"
"He who must not be named, Voldermort."
"Voldermort not dead?"
Al hesitated.
"What do you know about him?"
"Bad, wizard, very bad. My friend afraid of him, Macusa and Ministry of Magic wanted to keep him and Stitch far apart as possible."
"How come?"
"Not human."
"Yeah, I guessed that. Blue fur, four arms, antenna, kinda short, those eyes. Spines on your back?"
"Fire proof, bullet proof, practically indestructible, mostly immune to Earth magic. Stitch hard to kill. Yeah, hard to kill ..... But can be hurt."
Stitch looked at his four hands for a time.
"Can be hurt." he said at last, a sad note in his voice.
They walked on, the silence returning for some while. They had cleared the trees and were on the lawns before Stitch spoke next.
"That was Harry Potter."
"My father, yes, Voldermort has taken control of dad, and I think both are gonna probably die before this is over." Al sounded desolate.
"How?"
Al stopped, turned to face the creature, ferocity burned in his eyes, and in his soul.
"Why? Why? Why all these questions? What is it to you? What does it all mean, for god's sakes?"
Stitch looked into Al's eyes, held his gaze before Al finally tore himself away.
"Fine! Fine. When dad was a baby, Voldermort killed his parents, my grandparents. Best we can tell, Voldermort was going to use the occasion for something really dark, something he had a nasty habit of doing quite a bit."
"Go on."
"You can take a piece of your soul and place it into an object. But to do it you need to kill somebody to do it."
"Human sacrifice?"
"Err, I've never thought of it like that, but ..... I guess . So, anyway, killing another human tears the soul, you can trap part of it immediately after you do it."
"What kind of things?"
"Anything, literally anything, ring, necklace, cup, tiara, rocks, animals, even people."
"Voldermort, he did this to Harry?"
"Yeah. We know he never meant to. Most people reckon he had something else in mind. Something specific."
"Yeah?"
Al sank to his knees and looked at the ground for a moment before answering, summoning up some courage for what he knew was coming.
"Well, that's the thing, the only people who's left alive who was there that night, were Harry, who was just a year and a bit old, and Voldermort, and he's not letting on. Informed guesswork is, it may have been a sword belonging to one of Hogwarts founders, he used something belonging to the other three. Sword of Godric Griffendore fits so nicely, it's scary. Trouble with it was, is it's goblin made, and 'coz of that, it absorbs, or 'takes in', only 'that which makes it stronger'. Most people don't think a bit of Voldermorts soul would have cut it."
"I see. Err, I think?"
"I guess it kinda bounced off the sword and ended up in Harry?"
"Ah, OK."
"Somehow the bit of Voldermort inside dad has taken over. I don't even know if dad's still in there."
Al didn't sound happy, he wiped an eye.
Stitch laid a hand tenderly on Al's shoulder.
"Tonight's not the first time Voldermort's had a go at me, he stole James's magical abilities from him, my brother ..... I never knew that was even possible, but he did. James is now in protection, in case he tries to finish him off."
"You not in protection?"
"Hogwarts should be as safe as it gets. I sleep walked right out the castle doors, I pretty sure that wasn't a coincidence."
"Need get moving, he could come back."
"Yeah, you're right, come on." Al stood up and the two ran to the castle.
"Hey ...... you're not ..... even out ..... of breath!"
"Stitch fitter than Stitch look."
"Let's get you ..... to the headmaster's office ...... I hope he's really, really ...... really, really ..... pleased to see you ..... coz for being outside ..... after bed time ..... I'm in a whole world ..... of trouble." Al, still trying to catch his breath.


"Stitch! This is an unexpected pleasure!" exclaimed the headmaster, kneeling, arms spread.
"Good to see you too!"
The two hugged deeply with evident affection. Eventually they parted.
"So, what brings you to this particular corner of our world?"
Stitch turned to Al.
"Ih, why Stitch here?"
"Search me!" Al shrugged "Oh, hang on, Stitch did an 'Accio Stitch' earlier."
"Well that explains that."
The creature looked puzzled.
"One of students here's name is Simon Tischler. Everyone, and I mean everyone just calls him Stitch. Dad's a mahoosive fan of the movie 'Lilo and Stitch', so's he." Al explained.
"Simon can quote every word from the movies, and every TV series episode, from memory."
"That kinda disturbing."
"So how do you two know each other?"
"You know the sunburned guy in the movie, apparently just minding his own business, but who's never far from the action?"
"Keeps dropping his ice cream."
"Mmm?"
"That character is kinda loosely based on me."
"Not loosely, is you."
"The whole ice cream gag was actually because when DeBlois, Sanders 'n' I met and talked while they were negotiating for the story rights, we stopped for some ice cream, and this jogger knocked mine out of my hand. He was very apologetic, bought me another. I didn't think much about it, but it clearly stayed with Chris and Dean."
"I'm still finding it hard to process, Lilo and Stitch is a true story."
"Well, there's a pretty sizable dollop of artistic license in there."
"Oh yeah."
"And anyway, of course it's a true story. It's a Disney movie, and the little girl isn't a princess?  So, yeah. Well, true-ish. Mostly. All be it somewhat truncated."
"Movie show three days. Was really couple months. And ship I had, very badly damaged before jump. Escape from Gantu's ship not so easy, took days."
"As I said, truncated."
"Movie make persuading Jumba to release Stitch and help save Lilo look easy. Was not. Took hours."
" 'Tightened up for improved narrative and give audiences better cinematic experience.' The police cruiser in the movie was actually military, a long range heavy interceptor."
"Yeah, with blown H-drive computer. Didn't find that put till I was already in hyperspace, took a week to fix it so could get back into normal space. Emerged very close to Earth, inside it's gravity. Planned to spend a few days repairing all the systems I borrow parts from. Make it 100% working. Apart from H-drive."
"What happened to it?"
"Crashed."
"I understand Jumba has it stashed somewhere safe?"
"Mmm. Plus hula kinda cheat. Lilo already become expert hula dancer when movie made. Lilo dance for reference film as expert, but movie show young Lilo, yet dance is more advanced than when we meet."
"If you watch the making of bits on the DVD, you've got Chris and Dean saying they wanted to treat hula with respect, and went to Mark Keali'i Ho'omalu's hālau for research and to shoot some reference film for the animation team. What they neglect to mention, is they'd had their ears bent, a very great deal on the subject, for days and days straight, by Lilo, Nani, David. And just about every local they spoke to."
"By time Disney approached us, Lilo had become haumana there."
"Student."
"Ih. At first some Disney executive wanted to reset the story to take place in Kansas. Big no-no!"
Someone beyond the door knocked.
"Come on in, more the merrier. It's only two forty eight. a.m."
The door opened.
"Ah, another out of bed?"
"Headmaster, I found mister Hofferson sneaking back into the castle ..... Oh, I see he's not the only boy out of bed tonight."
"Yes, well, erm. Changing the subject. Or not. You know Simon Tischler?"
"Out of bed as well?"
"Not as far as I'm aware. No, his nickname ..... "
"Stitch."
"Indeed, named after a fictional character from a Disney movie?"
"Yeah?"
"Not fictional." Stitch said, stepping out from behind a pillar.
"Meet the real Stitch Pelekai. Aka six two six."
"Yeah, that me."
"Hi Stitch."
"Hey Vorran."
"Warren."
"Whatever."

[Toliman]

Interesting, good work!

[archaic]

Irayo.

[Toliman]

Nìprrte'

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There might be a follow up, it's not written down, but I have most of it worked out.
I do stress the 'might be', however.

[Toliman]

Follow up ... it would be good!

[archaic]

I'll put it together.

[Toliman]

Txantsan!

[archaic]

OK, I've got nowhere much with that, so meanwhile, here's something else .....

Spoiler

Chapter 1

James and Albus Potter leaned out of the window of the compartment's door, and waved farewell to their parents and sister. The train picked up speed and they were soon out of sight. A huge area of track, switches, signals and wires lay beyond the platform ends. Beyond that, the rails onward to their destination.
James sat down first, took a chocolate frog from his pocket and bit off a chunk.
"Hmm, dad."
"Huh?" Albus, pulling his head in from outside.
"Chocolate frog card, it's dad."
"Oh."
"Shouldn't put your head out, there's all stuff that'll take yer' head right off, you know."
"Is there. Really." Albus said, with no hint he believed a word of it.
"OK, so there's stuff you need to know."
"Oh yeah? Like what?" Albus was suspicious.
"At school it's different from at home. You and me, we're brothers."
"Are we really? I always wondered why you hung around like a bad smell." Albus, sarcastically.
James gave an eyebrow slightly raised, mildly amused, look at his brother.
"Nah, that's dad's socks. So, we'll be living in the same castle. Under the same roof."
"Ah, so, nothing like home then?"
"We get sorted into houses."
"Well, this is complete news to me, bro."
"I expect you'll be sorted into Slytherin ..... "
"Hmmpff."
" ..... that, or maybe Hufflepuff."
"No thanks."
"Look, at school, I have a loyal and devoted fan base."
"That'd be germs that live down the loo, then."
"I'm one of the cool kids."
"Guess they don't know you like me."
"I don't want you doing your best to muck it up Al."
"By telling the truth about what you're really like?"
James looked at his brother, and smiled, knowingly.
"Yeah? And what if I do?"
"It's Hogwarts, there's magic and stuff. Another messy ..... disturbing ..... grizzly death ..... Hardly even noticed. There are 'accidents', you know? A lot of inexperienced witches and wizards, trying out new stuff. It can go wrong. Like a lot! Sometimes it's just an unexpected mouth full of slugs or a bad smell, or a real itchy rash. Or all your toe nails go green and fall off. But sometimes, well ..... sometimes they never find all the bits. They have their own hospital for a reason, you know, a hospital with a mortuary. Another unfortunate death? Wouldn't really notice."
"Yeah, right."
"Why d'you think there's no such thing as a lousy witch or wizard? One who can't do more than the most basic spells? I mean, there's muggles who leave school, 'n' can barely tie their own shoe laces!"
"Is that because they let to their halfwit older brothers fill their heads with a right load of old rubbish?"
"Guess again." James' voice held just a hint of menace.
"Oh please, do tell me, brother of mine. Fill my poor empty head with your great knowledge and wisdom!" Albus's voice now dripped with sarcasm.
"You learn fast, or you don't survive. You'd be surprised how many students have died over the years." James said sweetly "And even more surprised how many they bring back from the edge." James finished with that subtle hint of menace.
The compartment door slid open. Two boys stood in the doorway, both already in Hogwarts robes.
Both were tall, handsome and charismatic. One was slightly pale and immaculately groomed, the other well tanned with untidy hair.
"James! There you are! Err, who's that?" he asked.
"No one."
"Albus Potter. James is my brother."
"Don't worry James, we'll soon fix that." said the immaculate boy with a broad, playful, but not unkindly smile.
"Dad said I had to 'Take care' of him."
"Well ..... You can't look after him every minute of the day."
"Call me Al." Albus held out a hand.
"OK, fine. Al, this is Louis, he's family."
"And you are?"
"Me?"
"This ..... is Nick Willocks, and he so isn't. And if I know Nick, he just used up his whole entire quota of words for like the week!"
The boy introduced as Nick gave James a knowing and slightly mischievous smile but said nothing more.
"Well, I'm off to be with my 'Friends'." James said as he stood, and walked to the sliding door "Good luck, brother dear." he said before striding off along the corridor.
Loise and Nick followed him, Nick giving Albus a friendly wink as he departed.
Albus sat in solitude for a while, watching as the suburbs slid by, munching on his own chocolate frog.
He glanced at the card .....
'Cornelius Agrippa lived from 1486 to 1535. He wrote books about magic and wizards. Some important people thought his books were evil, so they put him in jail for writing them.'
..... before looking out of the window once more. The darkness of a tunnel, not the first, his ears popped. Suddenly, they were out in the countryside, all be it briefly. Another tunnel, and more town. A station slid by, and Albus was mildly amused by the name, 'Potters Bar'.
They sped along, the view became increasingly rural. Towns became further between, with more fields, trees and hedges than shops, houses and industrial units.
The door slid open, it was Rose Weasly.
"Watcha Al." she said, breezily.
"Hmm? Oh, hi cuz'."
"How come you got a compartment to yourself? Train's packed!"
"Oh, James went off with his mates."
"Nice."
"So, what's it like?"
"What's what like?"
"Hogwarts?"
"Yeah, I've asked that. Big, cold, drafty, best school of magic there is. Depends who you ask."
"Yeah I've heard the 'Big old castle with drafts, leaky roofs, blocked gutters, and more midges than you can shake a stick at when there's no wind.' Which apparently, isn't that often."
"Dad say's the whole place is full of secret chambers, big scary monsters in every one. And mum say's it isn't."
"What are midges anyway?"
Rose shrugged.
"I wonder how many teachers we'll get, who taught Mum 'n' Dad."
Albus considered this for a moment.
"Not many, they'd be like a million years old! Hmm, well Hagrid does, 'n' I hear there's a ghost that's a teacher, so, maybe like two?"
"Your dad teaches."
"Mmm, not full time, just, I don't know, kinda ...... now and then?"
"What's he teach?"
"Defense against the dark arts."
"Kinda a celebrity guest teacher I guess."
There was an awkward silence as Albus looked slightly embarrassed but said nothing.
"Read all the books and stuff?"
"Nah, dipped at a few, but it looked, well, either boring as hell, or kinda hard. Know what I mean?"
"Mmm."
"You?"
"About the same. Mum's always encouraging, and dad keeps out the way. I know he didn't do well at school. I see your dad's autobiography's on the reading list."
"It's not his autobiography's, it's a history of the war, it's the one book I have read a bit of. Most of it's about other people, 'n' what they did. Your mum 'n' dad, there's two chapters on them!"
"Yeah, I heard. Chapter 'n' 'alf about Nevil Longbottom 'n' all."
"Mmm. Ain't read that bit."
There was a noise, commotion, someone was running along the corridor, pushed past Rosie, threw himself into the seat opposite Albus.
"Mind if I sit here?" he said.
"Err ..... "
Shouting now filled the corridor.
"I'm gonna kill you! You 'ear me Syracuse? I'm gonna tear you apart and use the bits to unblock the bog!"
Syracuse pulled something from a pocket, and clamped it to his face.
Four big lads, probably fifth years by the look of them, ran past the compartment.
The boy looked up, but the face was quite different now.
"You Syracuse?" Al asked quietly.
"Umm, yeah. Please, don't tell 'em I here."
"Why?"
"And what've you done to your face?"
"Face changer, look, it's mine, I paid for it with my money, it's mine. Trouble is, dad gave it to him for his birthday, I had to nick it back."
"But if it's yours, how come your dad gave it to him for a birthday present?"
"Coz as far as dad's concerned, if it's in the house, it belongs to him. End of." 
"Who is him? Err, he?"
"And how come your dad's giving him birthday presents?"
"He's my brother, half brother. Look, my dad's a muggle, there was a car crash, years ago. Apparently it was dad's fault. His mom, brother, sister, and everyone in the other car, they all died, only him 'n' dad survived. Bart was in hospital for weeks. Dad walked away with barely a scratch, I'm told. He's had a lot of very short relationships over the years. There's three of us 'halfies', his half brothers and sister. I only live with them coz my mum died."
"That's awful."
"Hmm, maybe, I keep out the way most of the time, that's why I bought the face changer in the first place."
Shouting filed the corridor once more.
"Syracuse! SYRACUSE! I'm gonna kill you! You hear me? Coz' I'LL KILL YOU! When I get me 'ands on you I'M GONNA FU' ..... Oh, hello miss."
"Barton Bawed, do you wish to be expelled before term's even started? I've known some eventful journeys in my time, but I will not stand for this kind of behavior! Detention compartment, now."
"But miss!"
"No arguments."
"But miss, he stole it!"
"No he didn't, it's his, and your father had no right to 'give' it to you!"
"But miss!"
"One more peep out of you and you're walking. Now shift it."
Barton walked past the compartment, looked very carefully at the faces of Rosie, Albus and the disguised Syracuse, without any flicker of recognition.
He was followed by his three friends, with miss Marsh behind.
No one spoke until were some distance away.
"So?"
"That's Miss Marsh, What's well weird, is she's related to my mum, and his mum. Distantly."
"Distantly to your mum, or his?"
"Both. And she 'ates dad."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, she's been known to go round and sort him out."
"Thought you weren't allowed to use magic on muggles?"
"Nah, fists, mean right hook, pretty impressive boxer, handy with mixed marshall arts 'n' all."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, eleven older brothers."
"Sorry, eleven?"
"Yeah, I know! Her mum had three kids by two previous marriages, and dad had five!"
"Err, that's only eight."
"Only eight!"
"Mum 'n' dad had triplets together, 'Not planned' I hear, then she popped up, she's the only magical in the family."
"There's also a much, much, much older step sister. Her dad's first wife had a daughter when she was still at school, made the papers back then, local rags anyway. She was raised by some aunty who spent time all over. You'll never guess who she's gone and married!"
"Who?"
"Remember the guy born a squib, had a car crash and spent months in a coma, when he woke up he was OK, only now he could do magic, in Australia?"
"New Zealand."
"Err, yeah. 'Ow d'you know?"
"Dad works with his cousin. He was full of it at the time."
"Oh. So, anyway, she married his brother."
"I thought he was the only non magical one in his family."
"S'rigt, their all witches 'n' wizards."
"you said miss, err ..... "
"Marsh."
" ..... Marsh was the only magical in that family?"
"She is. Well, out of, err, that eleven, twelve. Fourteen. Fifteen?"
"How d'you know all that?"
"Marshes live down the street, council put 'em in a B 'n' B there, when their old house was repossessed."
"Their house was repossessed, that's awful!"
"Oh, it's way better, house was owned by a particularly nasty relative of her mum's, total scumbag. Owned 'alf the street and a few other properties round our way. Left the lot to some local chapel."
"Typical."
"Yeah, only the chapel ain't been there for like years 'n' years 'n' years, so the family contested the will. Turns out he had loads of houses, stock market shares, owned a couple of business and never told the family. There were millions, and even split between like a zillion different relatives, miss Marsh still got thousands! Me 'n' Barton got well nice prezzies that Christmas, I can tell yah!"
"Nice!"
"Yeah, she got us the uniform and stuff, wand, combined Christmas and birthday prez. And the bag. Oh hell, the bag!"
"What's up?"
"My bag. It's somewhere on the train ..... but, I, I ..... No idea where."

[Toliman]

It's good work too!

[archaic]

That is the 'fic I referred to in this .....

I have a fanfic that I'm failing to make any real progress on. It's Harry Potter, or rather Albus Severous Potter, It's basically what Cursed Child wasn't. With added Nightfuries.
OK, it's a semi crossover with HtTYD, an over arching prequel, sidequel and sequel to The Dragons Clutch. With a subtle hint that it takes place in the same universe as Lilo and Stitch, none of the main Lilo and Stitch characters appear, but Hogwarts' new headmaster* speaks Hawaiian and is familiar with their customs and culture. Also gets a Christmas card from someone known as 'Bubbles' who lives at the Cedars In Aspen retirement home. Plus, when asked if he'd seen the movie Lilo and Stitch his reply is that he is 'familiar with the story'.

[archaic]

The headmaster now has a name ..... Ulf Wishaw.

[archaic]

Just for an extra post .....

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfeXtRmFMcQ

[archaic]

[Vawmataw]

what is this

[Toliman]

Eltur tìtxen si

[archaic]

Toothless's love interest from the How to Train Your Dragon 3 trailer.

(at least, that's what I was aiming for)