Critiques wanted...

[Kxamtxon Tsamsiyu]

Just a few pieces of writing I wanted to get a comment or two on. Thank you for your time

"I hear your voice calling out to me, feel your arms around me holding me in a tender embrace..your lips brushing innocently against mine in an so called famous "first kiss"...but to me that wasn't enough, because as i awaken from my dreams all of that is left behind, because you're no longer here, no longer in my life...instead your locked up in my heart and in my dreams as the only lasting memory i have of the only man i ever loved, the man who saved my life even if it meant costing him his own..."

Everlasting Love

10-01-08
Before you came into my life I was lost and confused
I never knew what true love felt like until I found you
My life now is so complete I could cry tears of happiness
you always wiped away my feelings of fear and distress
I waited five years for you to hold me in your arms this very night
Now we'll never be out of each other's caring sight
I've finally found my life in you
before I found you everything was painted blue
The same color as the tears I shed
along with all the pain haunted by the deep red
As I close my eyes and listen to your heart
I know that now we'll never be apart

As I wake in the morning I find your arms holding me tight
And I smile knowing everything felt so right
A small laugh escaped from my lips
As I lingered in the feeling of everlasting bliss
I laughed softly as I look into your eyes
You smile lovingly as the sun slowly starts to rise
You hold me in your arms and begin to sing softly
the words that would echo on for all eternity
I blushed as I hear the last verse as I softly kiss your palms
You mutter softly " Why would you dream, when everything you've always wanted is holding you in his arms...?"
I felt my mouth go dry as I hear your passionate words
My heart was fluttering much like a hummingbirds
You laughed softly as your lips once again meet mine
Sighing happily I knew everything would be fine


I snuggled up into your tender embrace
As I felt tears stain my face
I tried to wipe them before they fell
But you knew me all too well
You gently kiss them away one by one
My emotions feeling overdone
As my tears stop falling you slowly sing me to sleep
I feel my eyelids droop as I can't hear a peep
you continue to sing my lullaby the rest of the night
to help keep my dreams free of fright
I know now I'll always be safe in your everlasting sight