Author Topic: Current Emotions?  (Read 12238 times)

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Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Current Emotions?
« on: March 25, 2012, 09:00:05 pm »
Mine, overwhelmed by sadness and anger ATM.

What about you?
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
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Offline Lolet

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2012, 09:01:43 pm »
Blase with a bit of cheerfulness.  ::)

Offline Seze Mune

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2012, 11:13:34 pm »
Mine, overwhelmed by sadness and anger ATM.

What about you?

I am sorry for your turmoil, ma 'eylan.  I hope you find rest and peace as soon as you can.

Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2012, 09:13:32 pm »
Irayo, ma Seze.

But I have found the source of my emotions and am attempting to mend the damage that I've caused in my past.

Thank you. :)
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Offline Txur Niftxavang

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2012, 04:03:28 pm »
Numb.  Voidance of emotion because its a pressure point, and idk who to talk too.  Too mamy times ive tried, but ppl just dont understand. Well, ppl who im with right now.  Other Marines. Thought i could talk to them, but i was wrong...
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Offline Seze Mune

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2012, 05:13:53 pm »
Numb.  Voidance of emotion because its a pressure point, and idk who to talk too.  Too mamy times ive tried, but ppl just dont understand. Well, ppl who im with right now.  Other Marines. Thought i could talk to them, but i was wrong...

Sometimes going laterally won't help.  You might have to reach out to someone at a tangent. Any civilians who might have a clue?

Offline Meuiama Tsamsiyu (Toruk Makto)

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2012, 07:59:39 pm »
I am a non biased Devil Dog, and capable of listening, if you need to message me, Txur. We stand together.

I am feeling well. Just made myself some dinner and moved some stuff into my new apartment.



"He who destroys a good book kills reason itself." -John Milton

"Mathematics is the gate and key to the sciences." -Roger Bacon

"There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance." -Socrates

Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2012, 10:06:44 pm »
Feeling the same, and here's why:

For, you see... *sigh* there's no getting around this...
You know what? I'm just going to tell you what's necessary for you to understand.

I'm not the best with relationships. So far this year, I've had 3 "girlfriends", or what have you in middle school, and all have "lasted" no more than 3 weeks.
The only reason that they "went out" with me is because of why they left me.
Indecision.
They couldn't make up their mind(s).

But to be honest, I really wasn't the best that I could be either. Keeping this in mind, NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE at ALL, will talk to me now. All except my closest friends and my family. Basically, I'm being rejected by 800-900 kids EVERY day (now I know that that might not seen so significant in the grand scheme of things, that's all the people with which I come in contact almost every day.) That's a big part of my life gone because of three insignificant, insecure little bratty, sassy, prisses not worth a f*** SECOND of my time. But, somehow I managed to think otherwise. Why, I don't know, but that's what happened.

*sigh* Sorry for this, but it really does help to tell people.
Thanks if you read this,
Takmeyalan
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Offline Txur Niftxavang

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2012, 01:15:09 am »
Just tired of my life,  i want out.   Though i take pride in being a Marine, an 0311 Rifleman, cross trained on 0331 Machine Gunner.    I cant stand my job anymore.   I dont belong here.  I wear my uniform with pride, but it just hides what ive come to hate.   Not the Marine Corps, but all the bulls*** we go through on a daily basis is rediculous.   I truely cannot remember the last time i was actually happy, or the last time i smiled. When it comes down too it, even though i feel this way, i'd give my life for anyone who earns my respect, or is a friend too me.  Point being, I guess i still have a little spirit still in me, just trying to get out.  If i could find a person to follow who knows my pain, and feels the weight i bear, maybe. Just maybe it would bring that spirit back.
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Offline Niri Te

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2012, 07:35:34 am »
 Ma Txur,
  Being mindful of security Protocols, are you CONUS?  There are things that happen in an AO that sometimes make you question if you are doing the right think, but you have to try to remember, that there are people out there, that due to their Religious beliefs, will do everything within their power to enslave you, and those you protect,  to their mindset. Failing that, they will then try to kill you and yours. The over whelming majority of people in America take no joy in fighting, but in order to not become enslaved to a totally repressive religious mindset, need to know how to fight.
 Most of the people in my generation that served, felt the same as you when they were in Viet Nam, and to an even greater extent, after they returned home. In time, they learned to put it all in some kind of perspective, and regained a certain peace, and sense of purpose.
 Once you finish your obligation to the Corps, if you ever need to relax, and re-ground yourself, my sweetie pie and I have eighty acres in the far west Texas grassland, and an acre cabin site up in the tall pines of the mountains of southern New Mexico.
 Know that THIS Army Dog has a deep gratitude for what you are trained to do, in order to protect the religious freedoms who are now too old to be in your shoes. You are WELCOME at our home ANY time that you feel that you need to chill out.
 Niri Te
Tokx alu tawtute, Tirea Le Na'vi

Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2012, 07:14:04 pm »
Just tired of my life,  i want out.   Though i take pride in being a Marine, an 0311 Rifleman, cross trained on 0331 Machine Gunner.    I cant stand my job anymore.   I dont belong here.  I wear my uniform with pride, but it just hides what ive come to hate.   Not the Marine Corps, but all the bulls*** we go through on a daily basis is rediculous.   I truely cannot remember the last time i was actually happy, or the last time i smiled. When it comes down too it, even though i feel this way, i'd give my life for anyone who earns my respect, or is a friend too me.  Point being, I guess i still have a little spirit still in me, just trying to get out.  If i could find a person to follow who knows my pain, and feels the weight i bear, maybe. Just maybe it would bring that spirit back.

I can relate to the base feeling of not feeling like living anymore. You know that you need to be here, you just don't want to.
I really do. Here's why:

My parents have tried to split up 3 times in my life; pure selfish bulls***.
They put me and my brother though this, and we've become callous to their need for respect; they've doomed themselves.
I can't think about the times that I have endured, be it poverty, struggling to go to school, buy groceries; petrol, without feeling the weight of the world on the pressure that I felt to lament for the future, past, and present.
So yes, I know how you feel; in a different scenario.
And I'm so sorry that you (must) feel this pain.
You endure, endure, endure, and get (for lack of a better word) bored after a while.
And my (not sure about your) anger gets to a breaking point and I couldn't sleep.
No sleep often equals pissy.
Multiply that times 3 weeks and you get almost... *sigh* well... you finish the puzzle.
Anyway, I get rid of my anger by writing down my emotions, and when I fill up my book, I will take a video of me reading my journal and post it on here.

Thanks again, and stay strong, ma 'eylan, Txur,
Takmeyalan
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Offline Txur Niftxavang

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2012, 07:57:49 pm »
Just tired of my life,  i want out.   Though i take pride in being a Marine, an 0311 Rifleman, cross trained on 0331 Machine Gunner.    I cant stand my job anymore.   I dont belong here.  I wear my uniform with pride, but it just hides what ive come to hate.   Not the Marine Corps, but all the bulls*** we go through on a daily basis is rediculous.   I truely cannot remember the last time i was actually happy, or the last time i smiled. When it comes down too it, even though i feel this way, i'd give my life for anyone who earns my respect, or is a friend too me.  Point being, I guess i still have a little spirit still in me, just trying to get out.  If i could find a person to follow who knows my pain, and feels the weight i bear, maybe. Just maybe it would bring that spirit back.
.  Oh yes.    I can relate...  Halfway through my first deployment my parents got a devorce, no body told me.  I found out on my leave time, and i went apeshit crazy.   I still deal with it.  I guess the pain and hatred drives me a little bit still today just to get through this final CDP that will come up.   So much bulls*** i got pulled into, and i didnt need that. 

I can relate to the base feeling of not feeling like living anymore. You know that you need to be here, you just don't want to.
I really do. Here's why:

My parents have tried to split up 3 times in my life; pure selfish bulls***.
They put me and my brother though this, and we've become callous to their need for respect; they've doomed themselves.
I can't think about the times that I have endured, be it poverty, struggling to go to school, buy groceries; petrol, without feeling the weight of the world on the pressure that I felt to lament for the future, past, and present.
So yes, I know how you feel; in a different scenario.
And I'm so sorry that you (must) feel this pain.
You endure, endure, endure, and get (for lack of a better word) bored after a while.
And my (not sure about your) anger gets to a breaking point and I couldn't sleep.
No sleep often equals pissy.
Multiply that times 3 weeks and you get almost... *sigh* well... you finish the puzzle.
Anyway, I get rid of my anger by writing down my emotions, and when I fill up my book, I will take a video of me reading my journal and post it on here.

Thanks again, and stay strong, ma 'eylan, Txur,
Takmeyalan
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Offline Txur Niftxavang

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2012, 08:18:28 pm »
 
For Danny and for Davey, taken before their time

Go!

Tonight this one's for us!

This one's for all the m*********er out there
who found each other on the streets
and made something in a world of nothing,
I know they'll never understand

Tonight this one's for us!

Hey brother!
I see what they done to you.
Hey brother!
Can you see what they done to me too?
No where to turn and we got nothing to lose,
But you can count on me if I can count on you.
It's true!

Hey brother all we've got's each other
In a world of s***, you know they made us suffer.
Hey brother all they let us have is each other
So let's f*** society up...

They'll never see the side of life I've seen
They'll never understand what made this hatred inside me breathe.
I found my family on the city streets
Because they locked me out of their American dream.
They lie!
And through those years of redemption denied
I couldn't see the truth through the blood in my eyes.
They lie!
I know they want to tear us up my friend,
But we can spit in their face until the bitter end, my friend!

Tonight this one's for us!

Hey brother! I see what they done to you!
For you I will fight!
Hey brother! You can see what they've done to me too!
For you I'll do it right!
Hey brother! We got nothing to lose, it's true!
For you I'll defy!
Hey brother! So tonight this one's for you!
For you I'll f*** die...

Hey brother, all we got's each other
And they been treating us rough.
Hey brother, all they let us have's each other
So tonight this one's for us.

Hey brother, all we got's each other
Through these years so rough.
Hey brother, all they let us have's each other
So let's f*** society up.

They won't break my heart again.
They will never take my heart again (never again)
They won't break my heart again (never again)
They will never tear us up again, my friend.

And so...
Tonight this one's for us!

Hoo!

This song ain't some silly gangster song
for all the crooked hat white boy limp bizkit jerk offs to feel hard too,
nor is it a rally cry for violence,
this is a song about finding friendship
in a cold hard world
and finding family when ya had none!
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Offline Txur Niftxavang

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2012, 05:46:05 am »
Having someone's life in your hands is the most humbling experience,  time tends to slow down when s*** hits the fan, feels like an eternity... Its taken its toll i assure you.
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Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2012, 02:26:47 pm »
I sure that it must have really ground a hole through the diamond spirit of my Na'vi brother. Especially when you've no one to talk to about everything that's going on.

Eywa ngahu,
Takmeyalan
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Offline Txur Niftxavang

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #15 on: April 10, 2012, 07:44:39 am »
Well, i called my mother yesterday,  its like my third Easter not being home.  She still cried.      Feeling remorse, regretting the fact that i put my mother through this.   

CONUS- Negative.      Im in Hawaii...   Now when i do go back home for good, i will be conus.
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Offline Niri Te

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2012, 07:54:45 am »
 I will bet you dollars to doughnut holes that your mother is very proud of you. I'm guessing Kaneohe MCAS. I was stationed at Schofield Barracks for a while. Years later, I moved back to Oahu, and lived in Makaha, and flew gliders out of Dillingham Airport.
Niri Te
Tokx alu tawtute, Tirea Le Na'vi

Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #17 on: April 17, 2012, 09:40:50 pm »
I'm wondering if it's normal to want to walk forever. To never stop. Walk until my feet bleed. And keep walking.

Is that normal?
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Offline Irtaviš Ačankif

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #18 on: April 17, 2012, 10:28:39 pm »
Feeling the same, and here's why:

For, you see... *sigh* there's no getting around this...
You know what? I'm just going to tell you what's necessary for you to understand.

I'm not the best with relationships. So far this year, I've had 3 "girlfriends", or what have you in middle school, and all have "lasted" no more than 3 weeks.
The only reason that they "went out" with me is because of why they left me.
Indecision.
They couldn't make up their mind(s).

But to be honest, I really wasn't the best that I could be either. Keeping this in mind, NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE at ALL, will talk to me now. All except my closest friends and my family. Basically, I'm being rejected by 800-900 kids EVERY day (now I know that that might not seen so significant in the grand scheme of things, that's all the people with which I come in contact almost every day.) That's a big part of my life gone because of three insignificant, insecure little bratty, sassy, prisses not worth a f*** SECOND of my time. But, somehow I managed to think otherwise. Why, I don't know, but that's what happened.

*sigh* Sorry for this, but it really does help to tell people.
Thanks if you read this,
Takmeyalan
I don't have a girlfriend. Avoiding a girlfriend can save you LOTS of trouble (and lots of time too), especially if she can't understand Na'vi.  ;D

And to tell you the truth, I've been rejected by people lots and lots of times before too. Really, it is pointless to be friends with a whole bunch of other people. Having 3 very good friends is much more valuable than having 1,000 casual acquaintances.
Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Offline Txur Niftxavang

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #19 on: April 17, 2012, 11:01:15 pm »
Yeah,  i dont feel like living anymore. 
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