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Current Emotions?

Started by Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan, March 25, 2012, 09:00:05 PM

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Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

So, I'm basically crawling out of my depression, because I realized that pain can exist in me (if it has to) without being self destructing. I'm happy but I feel like erupting into tears. Occasionally I cut, not much, though. It's like crying for me, because my tear ducts don't seem to work, lest there be lots and lots of loud and soul ripping yelling. Yeah. Current emotion: numbly unaware of myself
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Txur Niftxavang

If you're going out with someone new
I'm going out with someone too
I won't feel sorry for me, I'm getting drunk
But I'd much rather be somewhere with you

Laughing loud on a carnival ride, yeah
Driving around on a Saturday night
You made fun of me for singing my song
Got a hotel room just to turn you on

You said pick me up at three a.m.
You're fighting with your mom again
And I'd go, I'd go, I'd go somewhere with you

I won't sit outside your house
And wait for the lights to go out
Call up an ex to rescue me, climb in their bed
When I'd much rather sleep somewhere with you

Like we did on the beach last summer
When the rain came down and we took cover
Down in your car, out by the pier
You laid me down, whispered in my ear

I hate my life, hold on to me
Ah, if you ever decide to leave
Then I'll go, I'll go, I'll go

I can go out every night of the week
Can go home with anybody I meet
But it's just a temporary high 'cause when I close my eyes
I'm somewhere with you, somewhere with you

If you see me out on the town
And it looks like I'm burning it down
You won't ask and I won't say
But in my heart I'm always somewhere with you

Laughing loud on a carnival ride, yeah
Driving around on a Saturday night
You made fun of me for singing my song
Got a hotel room just to turn you on

You said pick me up at three a.m.
You're fighting with your mom again
And I'd go, I'd go, I'd go

I can go out every night of the week
Can go home with anybody I meet
But it's just a temporary high 'cause when I close my eyes
I'm somewhere with you, somewhere with you

Somewhere with you
I'm somewhere with you
I'm somewhere with you...


You ever cry so hard that you get a migrane?  On my last deployment, my significant other cheated on me, while i was trying not too step on IEDs for 7 months...     She's long gone, but i still hear her voice in my dreams, her beautiful face, and smile...    I ask myself every damn day why she felt that it was acceptable to do what she did... 
PSN: AVATAR_052191


If anyone has a question about firearms training/ Bow training leave a message, a voicemail on my phone, or text.
State your name, and if you are one of the people.

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

Yes, I have cried that hard. Just last month, I got a migraine and couldn't see out my left eye too well, my nose went numb, and I couldn't taste too well. Hurt like s*** haha But on all seriousness, which I can't possibly manage right now-A-HA HA! ;D ;D I might have taken too many pain pills that day hrh. Let's just say that I was a frickin trainwreck hehe ;D
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Na'vin Nos'feratxu

We love blindly with our hearts...
But we lust with our eyes...

There is more to this equation, once I figure it out perhaps I will find a mate who sees like I do.
:P

   
NotW#82

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

A match made in heaven, I suppose ;D ;D
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Ftxavanga Txe′lan

Right now, I feel very sad because of Germany's defeat. And I'm also angry, frustrated and irritated because I've reached my daily post limit on Tumblr and it's not even the evening yet. :-\ I hadn't realized I had been posting that much..

Txur Niftxavang

Well,  f***!    >:(.    I cant tell u guys,  violation of operational security... 
PSN: AVATAR_052191


If anyone has a question about firearms training/ Bow training leave a message, a voicemail on my phone, or text.
State your name, and if you are one of the people.

Tsmuktengan

Quote from: Txur Niftxavang on June 28, 2012, 04:51:37 PM
Well,  f***!    >:(.    I cant tell u guys,  violation of operational security...  

I guess this equal a *BEEEEP* instead of the normal thing I guess.

I seem fine...I am fine. but sometimes I wish I could hug someone else I love other than my own family.


Irtaviš Ačankif

In a state of total disemotion, if that's a word. What's emotion for when it only messes up reasoning and wastes a whole lot of time...
Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

:'(   That will be all. Think that that will, uh... pretty much... sum it up.  :'( :'( f*** it, I still care. Think that Vicky was the reason for my emotion. The reason that I was able to feel anything, aside from cutting. Now, I don't. Melodramatic as it is, that's what I've come to feel. So, whatever. Think what you wanna think, but that's what I feel. :'(
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Txur Niftxavang

Seek me, call me
I'll be waiting
Seek me, call me
I'll be waiting

This distance, this dissolution
I cling to memories while falling
Sleep brings release, and the hope of a new day
Waking the misery of being without you

Surrender, I give in
Another moment is another eternity

(Seek me)
For comfort
(Call me)
For solace
(I'll be waiting)
For the end of my broken heart

(Seek me)
Completion
(Call me)
I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting)
For the end of my broken heart

You know me, you know me all too well
My only desire, to bridge our division
In sorrow I speak your name
And my voice mirrors, mirrors my torment

(Seek me)
For comfort
(Call me)
For solace
(I'll be waiting)
For the end of my broken heart

(Seek me)
Completion
(Call me)
I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting)
For the end of my broken heart

Am I breathing?
My strength fails me
Your picture, a bitter memory

For comfort, for solace

(Seek me)
For comfort
(Call me)
For solace
(I'll be waiting)
For the end of my broken heart

Very good song, explains how I feel about her.
PSN: AVATAR_052191


If anyone has a question about firearms training/ Bow training leave a message, a voicemail on my phone, or text.
State your name, and if you are one of the people.

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

It wasn't long before we had reached the clearing that we had made. We slept there countless times as kids, but we had never thought that it would come to this. Banished, we fled to the place that we glued ourselves to in our youth. The soundtrack of this place was that of rushing, constantly flowing water. In the background was a huge rock that we layed on and watched the stars. Now, this place was our home. We were welcome and belonged here, contrasing all the other previously available options. Our old home; where we were born... All those gathered on that day laghed and mocked while Kxanayä and I walked away, our eyes welled with tears of nothing but hate and sorrow. We walked until the anger became too much... We broke into lament, shouting, running until our legs burned, until our eyes were red from the tears. We can't sleep, torchured by the laughing and booing of those even who raised us to who we are now. They loved us until the second we were'nt exactly what they wanted. We cried for hours together and hated all of them: who did this. We knew that there would be no resolution of this matter... we knew that it was too late. It doesn't seem fair to you, because it isn't. I would give my leg to bet that a good majority didn't even know who or what they were booing and jeering. They had no motive other than to totally f*** us over. To cast the majority vote. To kill us by popular demand. Unfortunately, they didn't. The people who said that they'd help us just exiled us and there isn't a god damn thing that we can do. Just sit there and feel bad for ourselves.

Vur ta Na'vi re-formatted to the way that I used to post; just slightly more... uh... productive.
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

Okay. I am f*** PISSED. >:( >:( I am in a band thing provided by All About Music with my brother, as, incidentally we're the most talented kids there. I have wanted to do this for a year. Signing up this year was the thing that I thought about for weeks on end. So, as it is, I play bass (7 years: half my life) and drums (1.5 years). Also, we get to make a CD of the songs that we cover and then much later, like, in October, we perform it live. So, for the CD, I opted to play both bass and drums and also singing. Live, I would play bass and sing majorly backup. Well, today, my brother wanted me to cancel my plans to practice the vocals, where he told me that because I am 13, my singing basically sucks. I told him that that's because I was screaming earlier, but he didm't buy into it. Remember when I said that music was the only thing to live for in my life? Well, now I feel like I can't even do the only thing that gives my life PURPOSE. I know that I'm amazing at bass, and amazing at singing, whereas, my brother SUCKS ASS. Sometimes, I wonder if he's singing or he's killing a cow with a thumbtack.  >:( And, on top of that, he's also said that my bass work needs "um... attention". So I flipped him off and told him to go to hell for killing the last little bit of spirit that I had in this hollow shell of an "ignorant", "arrogant dumbass" who's "too good for himself". >:(

Emotion: A cataclysmic hypernova of hatred, depression, and self-loathing. f*** him.
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Meuiama Tsamsiyu (Toruk Makto)




"He who destroys a good book kills reason itself." -John Milton

"Mathematics is the gate and key to the sciences." -Roger Bacon

"There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance." -Socrates

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Irtaviš Ačankif

Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

WameuiaAnn


Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

We three (at least) are in need of pretty desperate help. :'( Will you?
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Meuiama Tsamsiyu (Toruk Makto)

I just want to go back in time and start over.



"He who destroys a good book kills reason itself." -John Milton

"Mathematics is the gate and key to the sciences." -Roger Bacon

"There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance." -Socrates

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

Me, too. Though, unfortunately (and I'm sorry to sound like a cynnic) it would create a time paradox. You going back in time to cancel something would negate the need to go back in time in the frist place. Trust me, I've thought about this at legnth. :'(
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.